A Soul Connection

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2007-02-09T00:50:00.000-08:00

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Dialogue with the Voice of Anger: (Note: This is ...

2006-07-12T08:25:00.000-07:00

Dialogue with the Voice of Anger: (Note: This is only a piece of a dialogue . . . it was much too long to include it all. I did this session at the computer to see what I could find out with one of the emotions I've always had trouble with.)

Tell me about YOU.
Well doesn't my name say everything? I mean, I am angry. That's my function -- to be angry. That's what I was created to do/be. That's why I exist.

So, when did you come into existence? Do you remember when?
Hmmm . . . the Self was a baby -- don't know how old she was at the time. Her mother was trying to care for her "in accordance with the guidelines of Dr. Spock." Yep, her mother figured this guy was a doctor and had written a book about how to care for babies and obviously knew everything. Anyway, one thing the book said was that when a baby cries, you should let the baby cry (for some number of minutes) before going in to check on it. Ha! That was my cue to enter so-to-speak. The baby-self felt so alone and scared and needed 'something' and when someone didn't show up when she made her sounds she began to cry. When that didn't work, I showed up to help her cry harder and be really made about the whole thing. Without me she wouldn't have even thought of making all that noise!

At some point, if I understand correctly, the Self began to ignore you.
Oh yes, that's true. I don't remember at what age she started resisting my presence but at some early age she learned that it was NOT OK to be angry, to have angry feelings because her parents would not love her. At least that's the message she got. Personally, I think I made her parents feel their own anger and they didn't like it.

Do you know what happened to the Self when she started ignoring you?
Hmmm . . . you know, I'm just now wondering if her childhood asthema had anything to do with the whole "ignoring" me. Anyway, she developed asthema. You know, a doctor at an Air Force hospital actually had the nerve to tell her parents that she was pretending that she couldn't breathe to get their attention! Thank goodness they didn't believe THAT doctor.

So it sounds like you're saying that you think that by ignoring you she may have developed a physical symptom/illness? Yes, absolutely. I mean it sounds plausible to me anyway.

CN said -I'm finding it a bit harder to do this pr...

2006-06-26T12:31:00.000-07:00

CN said -

I'm finding it a bit harder to do this practice because some voice, probably one of the controllers, thinks it already knows why the body feels the way it does and isn't interested in dialoguing. The body scan technique works fine - but then theres a tendency to want to skip over the dialogue with the body voices. The body still gets its point across but the benefit of the dialogue is then lost.

I find the body scan technique and "talking to you...

2006-06-19T11:31:00.000-07:00

I find the body scan technique and "talking to your body" to be essential to my own good health and as a way of allowing a client's physical body to express itself. Puting my attention to those parts of my body that either speak up or light up is useful to understand that I don't have to disown the painful parts and that I need to pay more attention to certain places in my body. Having a running dialog with all of me also helps me get better in touch with my emotional body too.

CN note -I'm learning that I don't seem to have mu...

2006-06-19T07:22:00.000-07:00

CN note -

I'm learning that I don't seem to have much time to practice with my inner selves, and when time is available, we all seem to want to rest rather than chat. I also seem to have difficulty seeking out some opposite voices - clearly the stronger ones speak out first and reaching the others will take some practice. As I get better at both taking opportunities to dialogue, and working through the dialogue steps, I expect more voices - those pushed aside for so lone - will emerge. Also, I'll need to practice blogging!

Here's one of my own dialoguing sessions, one that...

2006-06-18T06:20:00.000-07:00

Here's one of my own dialoguing sessions, one that I did this morning. I thought I'd do the process on the computer this time. Most of the time I go through the dialoguing process in my head either at the gym or while driving somewhere (unless I'm working with Big Mind, where I work with those voices when I'm "sitting").

Although I'm providing the whole dialogue process, you don't have to do it this way.
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Dialogue process with "the student": (possibly aka "the eternal student?"

Who am I speaking to?
The student.
Tell me about yourself:
I am the student. I want to learn everything. I want to leave 'no stone unturned'.
What kind of things do you particularly like to learn?
Anything that helps the self understand itself -- spiritual connection, psychological & emotional make-up, and humanity -- what it really means to be human.
How do you help the self? How does understanding all this help the self? How does it protect her?
It's about knowing. She feels more comfortable knowing about things and how they work and fit into the whole picture. She thinks the more she knows the less she's in the Unknown.
What do you think about that perspective?
I think that it does keep her out of being in the Unknown a lot of the time, because she's focused on learning . . . and, it seems like during the learning (of whatever) even though she's often in the Unknown, there's movement towards something.
As the student, do you work closely with "the grasping mind"?
Yes, you could call it that -- "the grasping mind" -- that's the part that grasps at anything and everything that looks like it might be something else useable, storable, in the archives of "things known".
Are you aware of an opposite of who you are? Who would that be?
I've not paid much attention to any opposite of me. I'm usually pretty busy being who I am and working with those parts that help me do my job, my function, of learning.
So, assuming there is an opposite, who might that be?
I guess it would be the non-student . . . or the not-student. But I'm not necessarily aware of any part like that even existing.
Thank you for everything you've shared about yourself and what all you do to help the self.
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Dialogue process with "the non-student"

Who am I speaking to?
The not-student.
What is your function? What do you do?
I guess my function is to just be. I don't know that I really "do" anything!
You don't "do" anything? Why is that?
No, I really don't "do" ANYTHING! There isn't anything that needs to be done -- there isn't really anything "to do". I just AM.
Is the self aware of you?
Sometimes but not often enough.
When is the self most aware of you?
Mostly during meditation . . . and it does take her some time to get to the place where I am. She's also aware of me when she's just sitting and gazing out the window, or when she & her husband are driving to the mountain (Mt Rainier) where there so much beauty around her and she's just sitting there looking out the window and not really "doing" anything. There's a not-doing quality in her looking.
So, how do you help the self?
She feels a sense of relief, I think, when I'm present, when she's aware of me, because she's normally always doing something.
Is there a message you'd like to give to her right now?
I think she needs to be more aware of me . . . I think I could really be good for her if she's be aware of me . . . sit with (in) me more often. I could add to her health and well-being if she'd let me . . . by just "being" with me . . . by just "being".
Thank you for everything you've shared about yourself and how you help the self.
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Dialogue process with the Integrated Human Being

What did you learn for this interchange?
I already knew that I was very identified with "the student" part of me. And although I didn't realize conscously the connection with how this part helps me with my discomfort with the Unknown, it makes perfect since. I was surprised that I was able to get in touch with an opposite . . . the not-student, a term/name that I guess works just as well as anything else. I really appreciated actually embodying this voice -- the not-student. I mean "knowing" that it's a good-thing to "just be" is one thing, but in dialoguing with this part/voice, I actually "felt" the . . . it was like a quiet, serenity . . . with not only "not doing" but not feeling like I "needed" or "should be" doing anything. Experiencing the "not-student" was relieving in some sense.