A Soul Connection

2011-07-08T08:06:00.001-07:00

WEEK 7 MALKHUT
Day 49, Malkhut within Malkhut

Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.

2011-07-07T08:03:00.000-07:00

WEEK 7 MALKHUT
Day 48, Yesod within Malkhut

Yesod (foundation, connection)

Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.

2011-07-06T08:02:00.000-07:00

WEEK 7 MALKHUT
Day 47, Hod within Malkhut

Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)

Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.

2011-07-05T08:01:00.000-07:00

WEEK 7 MALKHUT
Day 46, Netzach within Malkhut

Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, determination, perserverence)

Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.

2011-07-04T07:20:00.001-07:00

WEEK 7 MALKHUT
Day 45, Tiferet within Malkhut

Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)

Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.

2011-07-03T07:19:00.001-07:00

WEEK 7 MALKHUT
Day 44, Gevurah within Malkhut

Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)

Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.

2011-07-02T07:18:00.000-07:00

WEEK 7 MALKHUT
Day 43, Hesed within Malkhut

Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)

Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.

2011-07-01T07:18:00.000-07:00

WEEK 6 YESOD
Day 42, Malkhut within Yesod

Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.

While reading a presentation BB will be giving, a spark of revelation shocked me -- it was just like being zapped. What I was reading was using some quite beautiful writing about "claiming yourself but not owning yourself." She wrote that you do not own yourself -- not even your sense of I . . . of being a self . . . don't reduce yourself to a thing [a good thing nor a bad thing]. I realized (recognized) something about myself in that moment . . . something that had changed and I'd almost missed . . . that I no longer was trying to become something or someone else (an improved version?) . . . I somehow had given that struggle up. I realized in that moment that I truly only want to be who/what I already am. Not what/who I think I am . . . but who/what I truly am!

2011-06-30T07:17:00.000-07:00

WEEK 6 YESOD
Day 41, Yesod within Yesod

Yesod (foundation, connection)

2011-06-29T07:17:00.000-07:00

WEEK 6 YESOD
Day 40, Hod within Yesod

Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)

Yesod (foundation, connection)

2011-06-28T07:16:00.000-07:00

WEEK 6 YESOD
Day 39, Netzach within Yesod

Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, determination, perserverence)

Yesod (foundation, connection)

2011-06-27T07:15:00.000-07:00

WEEK 6 YESOD
Day 38, Tiferet within Yesod

Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)

Yesod (foundation, connection)

2011-06-26T09:25:00.000-07:00

WEEK 6 YESOD
Day 37, Gevurah within Yesod

Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)

Yesod (foundation, connection)

Sitting here within the 37th Gate, I'm wondering how this day will unfold. There's an urge within me to get my website back up -- it's been down (disconnected) for probably a week now. My website has been sort of like a foundation for my business for 15 years or more, and, for some reason, I've been able to be in the space of letting it be down.

Here's something interesting . . . my websites went down during the week of Hod -- the last 5 days of Hod. And during that time, I did NOT do this practice, Counting the Omer. It was not in my consciousness to do the practice. I totally forgot about doing it for 5 days. It reminds me a little of being in exile in the desert like the Israelites . . . and this Omer practice is about that.

2011-06-25T11:56:00.001-07:00

WEEK 6 YESOD
Day 36, Hesed within Yesod

Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)

Yesod (foundation, connection)

Entering this 36th Gate of Consciousness, the beginning of my week-long exploration within Yesod I've connected with two very close friends from my past. BB lives in Montana now; we knew each other when we both lived in Northern Virginia. She was my first Kabbalistic Healer and my Kabbalah teacher. She is now the Director of the healing school that I went to for four years. MB lives in Florida; we knew each other while we were both attending the healing school just mentioned. Oddly, we did not get close to each other until after we left the school.

In our conversation, BB mentioned that she was needing to let go of a huge number of clients because the school was taking up so much of her time. We discussed the potential of my taking on a good number of those clients. If this increase in number of clients manifest for me, I may very well have the monetary resources necessary for me to participate in the DH Teacher Training/Seminary Program. I see the Hesed within Yesod throughout this whole phone conversation!

MB and I talked for more than an hour catching up. We used to connect by phone every few months but haven't talked for probably a year. She's been going through a LOT of change in her life that somehow precluded our phone contacts. And, for some reason, her email account would not "get through" to my Comcast email account. There was a block or something between the two email accounts. I also see the Hesed within Yesod throughout this phone conversation as well.

One more thing that I noticed in both phone conversations (connections) was how there had been "disconnects." And, another thing I noticed is how Foundations for both my friends, as well as myself, have been being shifted.

2011-06-24T06:40:00.001-07:00

WEEK 5 HOD
Day 35, Malkhut within Hod

Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.

Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)

2011-06-23T05:43:00.001-07:00

WEEK 5 HOD
Day 34, Yesod within Hod

Yesod (foundation, connection)

Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)

2011-06-22T14:42:00.001-07:00

WEEK 5 HOD
Day 33, Hod within Hod

Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)

2011-06-21T14:41:00.000-07:00

WEEK 5 HOD
Day 32, Netzach within Hod

Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, determination, perserverence)

Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)

2011-06-20T14:40:00.000-07:00

WEEK 5 HOD
Day 31, Tiferet within Hod

Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)

Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)

2011-06-19T07:28:00.001-07:00

WEEK 5 HOD
Day 30, Gevurah within Hod

Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)

Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)

Dropping into the 30th Gate of Consciousness, into the splendor of my True Nature. Here's where my true strength lies. I've experienced a number of periods today where I'm truly grateful for being who I am . . . and even not knowing fully who I am. Yes, it sounds like a paradox and it is that. The important thing for me now is to pay attention to whom I'm taking myself to be . . . so that I can see each identity and the ideas and beliefs each identity holds fixed in my mind. These fixed ideas and beliefs are what makes my Gevurah out-of-balance . . . too much rigidity. So, when I can remember to just let go . . . be exactly where I am without judgement (criticism) . . . just acceptance . . . then my experience will unfold to reveal more of what's real -- LIFE.

2011-06-18T12:09:00.000-07:00

WEEK 5 HOD
Day 29, Hesed within Hod

Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)

Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)

Early this morning, as I entered the 29th Gate of Consciousness, I opened to exploring more about where I am in relation to completing an application for the new Ridhwan Teacher Training. It was like walking through a long corridor looking into rooms that held thoughts, feelings, ideas and beliefs that I was already familiar with. Suddenly I came to this place (or space) where it was very clear that I was doing exactly what I needed to be doing now and that I didn't need to become anything other than what I am. I realized at that moment -- visual snapshots moved through my mind at something like warp-speed -- that I've spent my whole life "becoming" but there was something about the "way" I went about it that seemed to be trying to fill a hole. So the realization was that I don't need to do anything toward becoming anything . . . that I'm already whole.

I'm still not clear as to whether I'm going to apply for this teacher training, but I am clear that if I do it, it will be from a totally different place than where I was -- free of identifications or need to be identified.

Let me take a moment to acknowledge that my early morning Inquiry was clearly supported within Hod. I felt such gratefulness and acceptance (a submission to what is); and I felt a more solid, clear sense of self. The experience also included such lovingkindness toward myself! No judgement (no super ego anywhere in my space).

2011-06-17T11:47:00.001-07:00

WEEK 4 NETZACH
Day 28, Malkhut within Netzach

Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.

Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, determination, perserverence)

Entering this 28th Gate I wonder what the day will reveal. By 7:45 a.m., my work with my own teacher ignited a spark . . . a very deep understanding about myself and my work in the world. Integrating this revelation is continuing and will take some time, I think, before I'm even capable to expressing how this affects me. I will say that our work together this morning reiterates a truth I've knows a long time, and one that I try to teach others as well -- God's will and my will are not as separate as we usually think. Said another way -- God's victory and my (true) victory are the same.

2011-06-16T07:43:00.000-07:00

WEEK 4 NETZACH
Day 27, Yesod within Netzach

Yesod (foundation, connection)

Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, determination, perserverence)

Through a profoundly deep inquiry I realized that my wanting to become a DH teacher had previously been tied-up with wanting the identity -- to become that. Today I realized that I do NOT want another identity. I'm tired of identities -- structures that control my life unconsciously.

Now . . . do I still want to do the work to be a DH teacher? Do I want to expend the required energy and resources (time, money, effort, relationship-strains) for the next ten years (at least)? My birthday was yesterday -- ten years from now I'd be 70 years old. They are specifically looking for 30-40 year old people. I obviously do not meet that piece of criteria.

2011-06-15T07:42:00.000-07:00

WEEK 4 NETZACH
Day 26, Hod within Netzach

Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)

Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, determination, perserverence)

Gate 26 feels like a perfect place to be on my birthday! I think this is an area on the tree where I'm doing a lot of practice and healing. The Hod-side usually feels more comfortable than the Netzach-side. But what would it be like -- what will it be like to let myself drop into Netzach first and then open up to experiencing Hod from THAT place. Let's see how it unfolds today.

I was notified of a potential opportunity to to go to the Ridhwan Seminary and become a Diamond Heart teacher. This is something I've been longing to do for some number of years. There are so many obstacles showing up around actually getting this to manifest. Time to sit with all this and just let it be here -- the opportunity, the obstacles, and my feelings around all of this.

2011-06-14T07:41:00.000-07:00

WEEK 4 NETZACH
Day 25, Netzach within Netzach

Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, determination, perserverence)

It was interesting to realize that I totally forgot to journal on this day about this 25th Gate. I'd had an unusually full day beginning with an 8 a.m. appointment then getting on the road to meet with the Federal Way Inner-critic Book Study Group. I had a lovely lunch with one of the ladies in the group. I realized much later that our lunchtime conversation had a LOT of Netzach-related threads.

There were a good number of stops that I had to make on the way home -- things I needed to do before a 5 p.m. appointment. I arrived home with 30 minutes to spare -- which felt like quite a victory (considering how tired I was).

2011-06-13T06:44:00.001-07:00

WEEK 4 NETZACH
Day 24, Tiferet within Netzach

Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)

Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, determination, perseverance)

What a great day for this 24th Gate of Consciousness! Potential victory within reach, I think because I surrendered. Interesting thought, eh? I just made a long overdue doctor appointment for something I've been battling over three weeks now. Every time I thought I had the issue (probably a bacteria infection) taken care of, it would re-surface. I see how my strength in perseverance can easily swing the other way and become a weakness, i.e., bull headededness.

I have an extremely hard inner-judge (strong super ego) when it comes to my own medical issues. The judgement is around the idea that whatever it is "it's my fault." So, I know it's not necessarily true, but there's a part of me that believes it hook-line-and-sinker. I see the strong-armed super ego as nega-Gevurah (a negative Gevurah, one with very little healthy Hesed balancing it). From this Kabbalistic perspective, disengaging from the super ego allows Hesed (expansion, lovingkindness) to be present and balance the strong, rigid Gevurah.

2011-06-12T05:38:00.000-07:00

WEEK 4 NETZACH
Day 23, Gevurah within Netzach

Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)

Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, determination, perserverence)

Today's experience within Gate 23 will include being with a small group of people who are interested in learning more about Raindrop Technique -- using Young Living essential oils. We're having a free demo at my home/office from 10-12 noon.

This is the second time I've offered this demo; and, I do it specifically so that people can see how easy it is to incorporate it into their lives as something they can do for themselves for their health and well-being. My friend, Lynne, is doing the demo this time -- she's a massage therapist, and has begun offering it as a service within her own massage practice.

Community-building is another motivation, a motivation that seems to be consistently present -- a community of like-minded, curious, open-hearted people. What would it be like to be a part of a group who use these essential oils, who continue to explore how to use them, and share that information with each other as well as others who don't know about them!?

The visual image that's arising in my mind-field (having to do with Netzach) is a little sprout pushing up through the earth . . . a perseverance to grow, a determination to live to its fullest potential.

2011-06-11T05:26:00.000-07:00

WEEK 4 NETZACH
Day 22, Hesed within Netzach

Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)

Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, determination, perserverence)

Walking into this Gate 22, two thoughts arise: first, that I need more practice in understanding this gate (so today may well bring the practice that I need); and secondly, my favorite number is 22 (well, it was the thought that arise).

We're leaving in an hour to drive to Bellingham to a memorial service for Dave's uncle. I did not know Harold long, or well, but he seemed like a class-act human being. I don't know that I ever heard him say a negative thing about anybody . . . and if he did, you didn't quite realize it was negative. Anyway, we'll be in the car driving for three hours along with Elsie, Dave's aunt. She's the last surviving sister of that generation of siblings.

2011-06-10T15:30:00.001-07:00

WEEK 3 TIFERET
Day 21, Malkhut within Tiferet

Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.

Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)

Today, this 21st Gate of Consciousness feels like Glory reflecting Glory -- somehow heaven reflecting earth, the mundane reflecting the spiritual realm. I had a couple of opportunities to see great strength and beauty in what was considered vulnerabilities and weaknesses. And, I continue to get chances to practice seeing how we (I) think through such distorted lenses.

Here's a great quote from my favorite teacher Hameed Ali aka A. H. Almaas: So understanding doesn't create or add antything; in fact, it removes what is there to start with. (quote from p. 229, Spacecruiser Inquiry). He goes on to explain why it is that we often feel like we're grieving a loss when we see through a belief, idea, identification, etc.

Later this afternoon I was given a precious gift -- a chance to work with Dr. Rebecca Coleman,
O C E A N Embodiment Education Enterprises, Inc. I've been considering doing the HcG diet again in the near future. I liked the way I was able to work with my whole being while working with that particular diet. Specifically, the fact that the HcG serum communicates with the hypothalamus to assure it that I'm NOT starving is comforting to me. Dr. Coleman's work also includes levels of the body -- organs and systems of the physical body as well as the emotional psychological bodies. I believe working together with Dr. Coleman will add to my healing process around nourishment and self/body image.

Glory reflecting Glory . . . Sefirot within Sefirot . . . Trees within Tress . . . Holographic Universes.

2011-06-09T13:33:00.000-07:00

WEEK 3 TIFERET
Day 20, Yesod within Tiferet

Yesod (foundation, connection)

Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)

This 20th gate of consciousness feels like another easy-to-be place for me. I feel totally connected to all of my surrounding -- the beauty of nature that surrounds me in this setting, this place where I live. This morning I feel very embodied, present, firmly seated with all of me here now.

What better way to enjoy this Gate . . . I left early this morning, after sitting, for a Raindrop Technique and massage. Lynne uses therapeutic-grade essential oils -- seven single oils and then two or three blends. This particular technique touches every organ, every system in my physical body; AND, it also works in the subtle energy fields. She began with my feet, working the various oils into each foot and focusing on my spine-area of the foot. And, then she dropped the oils like rain (dropping through my auric field) up and down my spine. It felt so refreshing and relaxing. I felt energized and yet calm. This was a beautiful gift to myself. And, I see doing things like this for myself as a way to maintain a healthy foundation for my body-mind-soul.

On my way home, I stopped and connected with a friend who's returned to working someplace she used to work . . . left and returned. She's surrounded herself with beauty -- natural beauty, i.e., plants, trees, running water, ponds, fresh aroma and peacefulness.

In late afternoon, my grandson called . . . well, he's 14 months old and his mom said he wanted to call me. I don't know how he told her that he wanted to call me . . . it didn't matter how. I loved hearing his little voice making his 14 month old sounds. He loves talking on the phone . . . and when he's done, he folds up the phone and hangs up. All done! ha, ha, ha

2011-06-08T12:32:00.001-07:00

WEEK 3 TIFERET
Day 19, Hod within Tiferet

Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)

Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)

Well, I must admit I have some expectation to this 19th gate . . . because I feel such an affinity to both Tiferet AND Hod. That said, I'm open to experience whatever the Universe sets in my path this day, whatever I need to help me deepen into understanding myself, others, and the world (both within and around me).

I guess it was mid-morning when I began to recognize that I had some residual feelings and emotions having to do with some judgements. I guess I'd been holding back some super ego ranting and finally she (SE) let go. The judgement was around people in "service" jobs NOT being of service . . . in fact, not even acting as if they care. It's interesting how a moment experienced at any time is connected to multiple threads within a pattern within your life. I took the time needed to explore this pattern along with the emotions that arose as a result of giving it attention. The bottom-line discovery here has to do with "capacity." I don't like it and I don't like admitting it but there are people who do NOT have the capacity to truly care about another human being -- sentient being -- unless there's something in it for them. That makes me so sad to even write it.

2011-06-07T07:35:00.001-07:00

WEEK 3 TIFERET
Day 18, Netzach within Tiferet

Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, determination, perserverence)

Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)

This morning I did an Inquiry about "Mercy" with a friend from my Diamond Heart group. We started out inquiring about Mercy, remembering some phrases -- particularly the one: "Lord have Mercy." My grandmother used that one. She wasn't particularly religious; so, it seemed that the phrase was just something folks said in the south at certain times.

As the inquiry continued, the field informed us of a sense of helplessness . . . as if the one who's asking for mercy feels helpless. There was also a sense that some authority was the one who would grant the mercy -- like a sovereign or a judge or a god. Moving deeper into understanding mercy, it became obvious that one typically "asked for" mercy which seemed to mean that mercy was not something already present but something that was needed.

It was interesting to discover during this Inquiry that mercy did not feel like an essential quality, like Compassion, Truth, Love. Essential qualities have a non-dual state or experience even though the experience can be as a response to another. Essential qualities arise naturally within the field -- inner and outer. However, it seemed that mercy needs to be given and received -- a duality needs to exist in order for mercy to exist.

Later this evening I participated in my book/study group "Spacecruiser Inquiry." There are 17 people in the group; and we meet for 2 hours, every 3 weeks, over a conference call. One thing that came up tonight was the dedication and commitment each of us have to doing this work together. We're studying the book -- not just reading it; and we discuss how the material touched us. I'm always in awe at how energized and alive I feel when someone shares something honestly from a place of vulnerability. The whole field responds and holds the person sharing as it holds all of us. Group work is beautiful work.

2011-06-06T07:10:00.000-07:00

WEEK 3 TIFERET
Day 17, Tiferet within Tiferet

Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)

"Compassion is a kind of healing agent which helps us to tolerate the hurt of seeing the truth." (quote from A. H. Almaas, Dimaond Heart Book 1, p. 92.

As I sit very still, quietly within this Gate 17, I notice it brings tears to my eyes. I feel so touched sitting here. It's like a gentle washing over and through me of the qualities associated with Tiferet. This experience is unexpected and yet most welcomed.

Words are so often empty vessels.
Sometimes, though, we can feel the very essence of what a word means.
No thought is necessary. No need to "already know" anything.
It seems we're somehow touched by the word from the inside-out.
But . . . it's not the word, it's the quality.
Words that are qualities. Qualities that are words.

I used to think I knew what "compassion" meant . . . and then I didn't. Everything I thought I knew was only what others had told me of what compassion meant or what I read about. It wasn't until fairly recently that I totally surrendered to the crazy possibility that it was true -- that I did NOT know what compassion really was. It sounded crazy, I know. But I knew that I had to give up what I thought I knew if I was ever to truly KNOW the essential quality of compassion.

Once I let go of all the knowing and let myself be ignorant, I actually was empty enough to receive -- to experience compassion directly -- with no preconceived ideas or beliefs. Compassion almost always makes me cry. Well, no. That's not quite the way it is. I typically respond to compassion with tears; and I think that's because I feel so touched.

Today, I realized I don't know what mercy is. I don't think I've ever experienced mercy. My head is full of ideas and beliefs about it, but I don't think I've ever experienced it directly. I wonder if it's similar to grace?

I'm ready to experience mercy directly now.

2011-06-05T07:27:00.000-07:00

WEEK 3 TIFERET
Day 16, Gevurah within Tiferet

Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)

Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)

It's interesting how the mind works. I looked at what this 16th Gate is called -- Gevurah within Tiferet -- and then immediately began to try to figure it out . . . a kind of worrying or picking at something. One might ask "what's wrong with that?" I think that's the way we're used to approaching life -- the way we face problems as well as moments of peace. The mind wants to figure out how we got here and how to map it so that we can save it for later when we want to return again.

I began to notice that my chest/heart felt a little constricted and heavy and my breathing was shallow. So, I stopped trying to figure all this gate stuff out and just focused on my breathing in my chest area. Within moments I felt a loosening and I actually did not care any more about figuring out this gate. ha! As soon as that happened -- a letting go, I guess -- an image of the Red Rock Country (Utah, Arizona, New Mexico) arose in my mind-screen. Such beauty! And the strength and form of those land structures -- the Arches, etc. are so awesome.

2011-06-04T07:11:00.000-07:00

WEEK 3 TIFERET
Day 15, Hesed within Tiferet

Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)

Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)

Tiferet possesses the power to blend and harmonize the free outpouring love of hesed with the discipline of gevurah by introducing a third dimension - the dimension of truth.

Today is the beginning of a very special week of exploration for me personally because Tiferet has often revealed his aspects to me a through a number of levels -- the very depths of beauty and compassion. (Note: Tiferet is one of the sephirot which is considered a masculine sefirot.)

2011-06-03T06:46:00.001-07:00

WEEK 2 GEVURAH
Day 14, Malkhut within Gevurah

Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.

Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)

In this moment I'm remembering that while studying Kabbalah over the years, there's an understanding about malkhut and keter being wedged together -- keter being the beginning; malkhut being the end. And, as I recall this fact, I remember that the image of the ouroboros arose in my consciousness back then. And, in this very moment, this image arises again. Are you familiar with the ouroboros, the snake eating its tail?

The Zohar compares malkhut to the moon; it has no light of its own. However, on the other hand, malkhut is the final revelation of the Divine Light for the entire process of manifestation -- in the beginning and continuously each and every moment of Life.

I'm wondering about this (Malkhut) being the 7th day of creation -- Shabbat -- cessation of work so that Creation can be revealed? That was never something mentioned in my Catholic upbringing (not that I remember at any rate). Does this "cessation of work" merely mean to be still, stop efforting, just be . . . be the unfolding.

And, how does all this that I've been writing about fit inside the consciousness of Gevurah. Let's see how this day unfolds.

2011-06-02T05:43:00.001-07:00

WEEK 2 GEVURAH
Day 13, Yesod within Gevurah

Yesod (foundation, connection)

Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)

I read somewhere that Yesod is "the 'small' and 'narrow' bridge between the infinite potential of procreation that flows into it and its actual manifestation in the world. We procreate on the spiritual plane as well as the physical.

My day was "bookended" with people I know from a business network and Free U. It's actually rather nice to feel comfortable being with these groups. Even though I've never "liked" networking, it seems that with this group of people it's just connecting -- real to real. Nothing put on -- no fluff. Just real people meeting together for a common purpose.

This evening's purpose was to envision how Robyn's shop would look in a new place. I didn't think I'd like the space but as I listened to the others' ideas, I began to change my mind. Robyn gathered together friends and business associates to help her envision possibilities. She's located a new physical place (new foundation on one level) and yet it's close enough to her old shop to maintain her connection with her current customers.

This was an interesting perspective of this 13th gate of consciousness.

2011-06-01T09:58:00.000-07:00

WEEK 2 GEVURAH
Day 12, Hod within Gevurah

Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)

Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)

I'm very interested to see how my day unfolds within this gate of consciousness. So far, my morning has consisted of working together with a colleague inquiring into a space where I felt both touched and wary (actually, it was fear). Seeing the paradox of truly experiencing both of these states together was interesting and also allowed a deepening of understanding myself. Once I surrendered to the process to let it unfold and be whatever it is, to allow myself to experience Reality exactly as it is, I began to understand the fear. It's quite a different experience to see oneself as an object of splendor and being (all encompassing) splendor itself. It's frightening to think of losing myself, or the object that's who I think I am -- even if the loss brings me to experiencing myself as True Nature -- as a multitude of essential qualities. It's all quite mysterious and scary. And, that's exactly what I'm here to do.

Note: The spiritual state identified in Chassidut as corresponding to hod is sincerity.

2011-05-31T06:22:00.001-07:00

WEEK 2 GEVURAH
Day 11, Netzach within Gevurah

Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, determination, perserverence)

Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)

Entering this gate with trepidation because of my preconceived ideas of what it "could be like" with all of these strong, intense qualities in one space together. It is only by remembering that these spheres, these states of consciousness have a healthy state too that I now notice my own inner strength and perseverance to stay present and to see what arises.

I noticed that there are a couple of terms used to describe aspects of Netzach that I do not like -- conquering and dominance. I realize that the part of me that doesn't like these terms is a part/self that does not like dominance over another or conquering another. When I think of these two things my chest/heart gets tight. I breathe into the tightness and let it be there without trying to change it. After a short time, my chest/heart loosens and eventually gets soft and open.

From a different perspective, there are examples of conquering and dominance that are positive for me. For example, some years ago I was able to conquer my smoking addiction. And, as I'm more open to see more about dominance, I see that dominance can be something that is used in art to make a statement. In music, there's a dominant rhythm, or beat. There's a dominant character in a story (book, play, movie).

I wonder . . . what is it that's dominating my life right now? This sounds like an interesting inquiry. I can see right now that different things dominated my life at different times in the past. Yes, this is a good topic for inquiry and journaling.

Note: The spiritual state identified in Chassidut as corresponding to netzach is confidence.

2011-05-30T06:29:00.001-07:00

WEEK 2 GEVURAH
Day 10, Tiferet within Gevurah

Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)

Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)

I did not recognize the aspects of Tiferet directly while I was in the midst of the experience and events. I did recognize it after the fact. It was the beauty and the mercy that I'd missed in the moment yet saw later.

I was very clear about the balance of Gevurah & Hesed within my day -- that balance, that harmonization revealed itself in a number of interactions with old friends and family members. I was able to maintain being that harmony and at times even experience directly the compassion arising.

2011-05-29T06:37:00.001-07:00

WEEK 2 GEVURAH
Day 9, Gevurah within Gevurah

Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)

This gate surprised me; I thought it would be uncomfortable experiencing Gevurah within Gevurah. My "idea" of it was limiting -- almost smothering in that it left no room (at first) for me to experience the gate directly and in the moment. Once I recognized that it was my "idea" that was limiting me, I let myself go through the day being open to see how it would unfold. [note: I think it's important for me to write an acknowledgement here that "ideas" do limit us, limit our experience of "what is." That doesn't mean we shouldn't have ideas. It just means we can be more awake when we see our ideas arise.]

A good chunk of my day was focused on the Labyrinth field trip for my meditation class -- meeting as a group within a set time and place (Gevurah); getting there (using both a Google map and my navigation system are both Gevuric in nature); walking the labyrinth itself (I'll write more on this piece); and then getting back home. I'll mention briefly that one of the ladies discovered she had a flat tire when we returned to the parking lot where we'd left her car. Changing her tire involved a step-by-step process as well as reading the car manual.

The labyrinth itself is a pattern within a pattern. It's a defined area that contains a pattern of a winding path. The "rule" is basically to "stay on the path." While walking the path, keeping within the boundaries, thoughts and emotions come and go. (note: it was surprising to see the freedom with which these thoughts and emotions would come and go -- within the gate of Gevurah within Gevurah.)

A realization at the end of the day -- my experience of this gate is never constant, it changes as I change . . . as the wind blows and moves the branches of the tree.

2011-05-28T06:35:00.000-07:00

WEEK 2 GEVURAH
Day 8, Hesed within Gevurah

Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)

Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)

First, dropping into Gevurah-consciousness feels good to me in that I can experience my essential strength -- that which is intrinsic to myself, to who I am. As I let myself sit here and sense into the other aspects of Gevurah, I can see how it's easy to become rigid. I wonder if this is the domain of the SuperEgo -- a nega-Gevurah (distorted, unbalanced). Here too are standards and rules which are necessary in life but can also become fixed and limiting.

Yes, and that's where Hesed comes in . . . Gevurah's partner from across the way. As I let in some Hesed into this Gevurah-consciousness, I feel like I can have strong boundaries that have some give to them -- a little flexibility where needed. I get a sense of how I can say "no" with kindness and love.

2011-05-27T07:00:00.001-07:00

WEEK 1 HESED
Day 7, Malkhut within Hesed

Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)

Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.

Entering into the 7th gate, I noticed a little fear . . . I stopped (Just barely within) to see if I could tell what was happening. Yes, I sensed a guarded, protectiveness. It was as if I was entering a dark cave and didn't know what to expect but yet imagined the worst. I also noticed a part of me wanted "to run." Of course, another part did not want to miss this gate -- that's the part that doesn't want to miss out on anything.

So, I did what my practice teaches me to do -- breathe, pay attention to the breath through my belly, and notice what's happening. A few minutes of breathing is all it took for me to become very present with myself. The moment I felt present with myself I felt I had more space to be exactly where I was -- truly within Malkhut. And, from where I was standing in that moment I could see many, many reflections of myself being reflected back to me from everyone I'd been in contact with this whole week . .. and then over the past month . . . and then over the past year . . . and then over my whole life. The qualities reflected were inclusive -- good and not so good, some I hide even from myself.

Somewhere in my archived information/memory I remember reading that the spiritual state often identified with Malkhut is "humility." I sat with that for a moment and decided to see what I could find on humility on the web. Here's an excerpt from a blog I liked where a woman wrote about humility (more so, what it is not):

. . . what humility is not is a good place to start. Humility is the absence of many things that we can do without.
Humility is not about deprivation. Humility is about more, not less. A humble heart gives more, has more room, sees more good, and is more generous.
Humility doesn’t make itself less. It doesn’t think of itself at all. So less cannot happen.
Humility does not bring itself down. It raises others up higher yet. A humble heart can hold up a chin. For a heart to do less would be to devalue everyone. Humility is about giving value, not taking it away.
Humility is not false. It doesn’t pretend to something it’s not. It doesn’t deny the truth about what is good. A star needs to shine fully bright to remain a star. A humble star knows that shining is what it does well and is generous with its light. Falsehoods in any form, are not humility. They are a denial of the truth, that’s something else.
Humility is without guile. It needs no plot, no plan. It has no needs at all.
Humility is not about me. It doesn’t make me bigger or smaller. It’s about everyone else.
We don’t know when we have it, because when we look at ourselves it is gone.

http://www.successful-blog.com/1/personal-identity-what-is-humility/

2011-05-26T20:57:00.000-07:00

WEEK 1 HESED
Day 6, Yesod within Hesed

Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)

Yesod (foundation, connection)

Dropping into Hesed-consciousness today, I feel such expansiveness, plenty of space, uncluttered. Within this state of being, this experience, I touch and move into Yesod. What is Yesod within Hesed like for me today? What's it like to sense my foundation -- where I stand? How is connection revealed to me today? Connection to others? to the Universe? to myself? In what forms does connection unfold for me to experience? Communication? Presence? Aliveness?

Today I found myself connecting with people in other countries (no geographical boundaries), experiencing their presence close to me, as if we were in the same room. With each person, the communication felt so open and easy-flowing. Also, a young woman from a local spiritual organization (one that I'd not heard of before) contacted me and asked me to present a talk to their group. We enjoyed our connection -- communicating with her was easy, energetic, and free. So, I'll be presenting a talk on using therapeutic essential oils on July 12th. This is a topic that I dearly love to share with others. I feel like I have a good foundational knowledge and plenty of experience to share with others.

2011-05-25T06:28:00.000-07:00

WEEK 1 HESED
Day 5, Hod within Hesed

Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)

Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)

During the four years I was in the Kabbalistic Healing school (A Society of Souls), I learned to embody each of these qualities. I had a particular affinity toward the qualities, or aspects, associated with Hod. AND, I had a LOT to learn about Hod even after I graduated from the school.

One of the aspects associated with Hod (not mentioned above) has to do with a sense of self. Gradually over the years my understanding deepened as I continued to recognize each of the manifold selves within my Self. I understand better now how each of the selves came about as a means to guard & protect me. And, the discoveries continue as I uncover who I truly am.

What's important for me today, as I enter into this fifth gate, is to truly experience lovingkindness for each of these selves within my psyche who, in their way, are trying to protect me from the world. I can feel thankfulness, grateful, for how each of them served me when I was young.

That said, it seems that the more "together" I can be with all of me moving through the world as ONE then the more wholly and completely I'll experience LIFE. The question that arises now is How do I surrender to the greater wholeness of myself? This question reverberates throughout every level of my being . . . including all my selves, even the ones I have not remembered.

2011-05-24T17:25:00.000-07:00

WEEK 1 HESED
Day 4, Netzach within Hesed

Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)

Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, majesty, determination, perseverance)

I wonder . . . what's a victory without winning or losing? Where do I recognize my own determination? And, where do I see it in others? How am I steadfast and focused yet not closed?

All during the day I let these questions be in my field as "not knowing." Sometimes when I ask open questions like these I find the answers just are not accessible [at that time]. And, at times like that my mind wants to figure it out instead of just letting the realization arise on its own.

Throughout the day an image of someone I know kept coming into my mind-screen -- he's a mountain-climber [among other things, of course]. Then, in the midst of his image showing up, I wondered if he feels victorious when he reaches a mountain's summit. I would think so [I need to remember to ask him]. And, in that victory, is he the winner? Who's the loser? I don't know.

Now, actually, I can see how when I figure something out [like on the computer] I do feel victorious. Maybe the part of me that doubted that I'd figure it out was the loser? Ha! Here I also recognize my determination even when there's a part of me that doubts myself. Here I see clearly how my being steadfast and focused does not close me to guidance, because oftentimes the "way" is clearly revealed like out-of-the-blue.

2011-05-23T09:39:00.000-07:00

WEEK 1 HESED
Day 3, Tiferet within Hesed

Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)

Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)

How am I open to experiencing giving unconditionally? And even unconditional lovingkindness? Let's see when I recognize lovingkindness, or a giving, that has no strings attached. I'd love to directly experience beauty as a harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed without having "to think" what it would be like -- just to experience it. And, how is compassion a harmony between Gevurah & Hesed?

My day was full yet not overwhelming. I had plenty of space between appointments. In fact, after my 2nd appointment, I let myself feel how tired I was -- acknowledged it instead of ignoring it. Here again I see old ideas & beliefs showing themselves -- on of which is that tiredness is a form of weakness. Today I was not only present with it but also decided to take a nap. Was this decision from a place of compassion? mercy? Maybe so. I'm learning more & more how essential qualities, such as, compassion, love, etc. are always present, available, & do arise as needed. I've also learned that we're often not aware of the qualities of presence.

Here are two quotes that I found applicable for me relating to this third gate of consciousness:

Beauty is a reflection of truth, and truth is ultimately true nature. And the dimension of true nature that reveals this essential beauty is that of divine love. (Inner Journey Home, p 287)

Compassion is a kind of healing agent which helps us to tolerate the hurt of seeing the truth. The function of compassion in the Work is not to reduce hurt; its function is to lead to the truth. Much of the time, the truth is painful or scary. Compassion makes it possible to tolerate that hurt and fear. It is on the side of truth, and helps us to persist in our search for truth. The truth will ultimately dissolve the hurt, but this is a by-product. In fact, it is only when compassion is present that people will allow themselves to see the truth. Where there is no compassion there is no trust. (Diamond Heart Book 1, pg 92)

2011-05-22T07:11:00.000-07:00

WEEK 1 HESED
Day 2, Gevurah within Hesed

Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)

Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)

In what ways do I take pauses during the day, within the flow of time and thoughts throughout my day, to check-in with myself to see what I'm experiencing in that very moment? Which boundaries do I find easier to establish? Which are hardest for me? What laws (rules) does my mind hold tightly? How do these ideas and beliefs show themselves in my life today? And, how do these rules limit me from experiencing loving-kindness from the universe? From myself?

Especially because it was my intent "to pause" (to check-in with myself) during the day, I discovered something (new &) unexpected about boundaries. I knew the pause would be a boundary (somehow), but the direct experience was vital for a fresh understanding. The pause itself was like a "freeze-frame" within a stream that consists of (unconscious) thoughts, mostly carried along in the stream as part of the stream. Somehow that pause creates a space where I'm out of the unconscious stream and now conscious of myself in the present moment.

Also, today I experienced moments where I "caught" (saw where) a rule (an idea or belief) arose in my mind . . . and I could see how "going along with it" would be limiting my experience. These rules -- if I do this, then that will happen -- really do limit the possibilities. Something quite extraordinary might happen -- and it did (more than once).

2011-05-21T11:02:00.000-07:00

WEEK 1 HESED
Day 1, Hesed within Hesed

Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)

How am I experiencing ever-flow this day? Have I had opportunities to offer something to others unconditionally (my presence, generosity, love)? Where do I tend to not have any restraint? And, in my inner world, have I experienced lovingkindness to myself from myself? How so?

My whole day opened-up -- no appointments, no rushed deadlines. I actually had continuous opportunities to be aware of my day unfolding naturally without any pressure (externally or internally). At some point, I had this realization that this day is a gift . . . of love. Even cleaning out and organizing a kitchen drawer seemed effortless; there was no prior planning to even clean out that drawer. It was spontaneous. No rushing. Peaceful, easy, with lots of presence. This day was a day of giving space to myself . . . for myself . . . for no reason. It didn't have anything to do with whether I deserved it or not.

2011-05-20T18:41:00.000-07:00

Counting the Omer – 49 Gates of Consciousness

A Daily Practice for 49 Days

From a Kabbalist’s perspective, Counting the Omer* is an active inter-dimensional exploration of the seven Sefirot associated with the 7 days of Creation.

It’s a daily practice that begins sunset May 21, 2011 for 49 days (49 gates of consciousness).

The traditional perspective of most people (Jewish) who practice the Counting of the Omer is that it’s a movement through time from Exodus** to Sinai*** -- the transition period from slavery to true liberation.

For many people, the "counting of the Omer"—these 49 days—provides a time for reflection and growth by focusing on the seven “lower” emanations [of God, Reality, our own True Nature] as spiritual themes for each day and week.

Each day, this practice provides a necessary element which coalesces with what’s present resulting in an alchemical process to manifest true gold. By recognizing our own constriction, our narrow-spaces, even our places of deadness, we can experience a shift, a new perspective, an awakening and opening to Life.

Notes:

*Omer -- An Omer is a unit of measure used for grain. An Omer of barley was cut down and brought to the Temple as an offering.

**Exodus -- Exodus – leaving Egypt, slavery, narrow-place

***Sinai – desert, unknown and also empty, open-space. Mt. Sinai where Moses received Torah -- revelation, teaching

2010-09-05T08:50:00.000-07:00

Did Curiosity Really Kill the Cat?

Is it curiosity or distrust?
It's sad but true -- I do NOT trust most advertisements. I actually remember a time when businesses were held to a higher-standard of TRUTH-in-advertising. Those were the days I did not hit the mute-button on my remote when a series of commercials interrupted my TV-entertainment. Oh yeah, well, that was before remotes . . . but still, even if remotes existed back then, I would NOT have needed to mute the commercials.

Since I'm not drawn to buying "energy drinks" (a.k.a. Sports Drinks) I haven't been aware of exactly what's available in stores. Yes, I probably hit the mute-button when the commercial comes on TV. I don't live completely under a rock though -- I have heard that most energy drinks are loaded with sugar and caffeine to give the experience of an energy-boost, but this has not been a topic of interest for me since I don't drink them. It's not that I don't need energy; I just don't need the awful side-effects that come AFTER the sugar high.

How did this topic of Energy/Sports Drinks come up in my universe?
Just moments ago during a phone conversation, someone mentioned a "healthy energy drink" that supposedly has all kind of good vitamins and nutrients added to it and is lower in calories than Gatorade. She highly recommended this particular healthy drink. Another plus -- this drink was recommended by her doctor.

Curiosity or Distrust?
At first I was curious. Then, when she told me the name of the drink, my Distrust-red-light started going off.

Have you heard about the Gatorade-branded "healthy energy drink" called G-2? I had not heard of it but checked it out (curiosity?) on the internet to find more about it. One of the ingredients is High-fructose corn syrup (distrust!).

What we should know about High-fructose corn syrup (source: wikipedia)

HFCS is a corn syrup that's undergone enzymatic processing to convert its glucose into fructose AND THEN it's been mixed with pure corn syrup (100% glucose) to produce its specific sweetness. I'm no scientist so nothing in that sentence makes particular sense to me.
HFCS has replaced sucrose (table sugar) in the U.S. due to governmental subsidies of U. S. corn and an import tariff on foreign sugar. The tariff raises the price of sugar. Government subsidies makes using HFCS aLOT cheaper in products. Oh, and most corn grown in the U. S. is genetically modified.
Health hazards of HFCS:

mercury reported in some HFCS manufactured in the U.S. in 2005. Curiosity: why are we finding mercury in a corn product?
liver disease (scarring or fibrosis) found among patients with non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (attributed to increased consumption of HFCS)
digestive disorders, i.e., fructose malabsorption, formerly named "dietary fructose intolerance." This digestive disorder is actually a dietary disability of the small intestine where the amount of fructose carrier in enterocytes is deficient. Curiosity: what causes the small intestine's disability to function as it's supposed to (specifically related to processing fructose)?
obesity -- research has fallen on both sides, depending on what each side WANTS to prove. On one side, there's a correlation between obesity and the increased replacement of sugar with HFCS in products such as soft drinks, including energy/sports drinks. The other side finds no such correlation. Curiosity: Was there a time when "research" was conducted to actually discover the truth? Rather than trying to prove something that may or may not be true!

There are a number of other factors that can be seen by anyone who cares to look. One such factor is the amount consumed. The soft drink container has increased from 6 oz. to 1 liter or more. As the container has increased the ingredients changed from sugar to HFCS.

Also, the psychological effect of increasing the soft drinks container size is obvious. Most people associate drinking "the whole thing" as what's expected. It's like the industry dictates our personal serving size.

Let's Be Curious

Even if I'm curious because I don't trust something, the underlying intention for me is to "really know the truth." To me, this means that I read and listen to a wide range of sources beyond the advertisement.

Recently, I read an article written in 2008 about the dangers of HFCS. There was a piece in the article about how researchers from Rutgers University found "very high levels of reactive carbonyls" in eleven carbonated soft drinks sweetened with HFCS. The article says that reactive carbonyls "have been linked to tissue damage and complications of diabetes." And, guess what!? A single can of soda has five times that concentration of reactive carbonyls. Old-fashioned table sugar has NO reactive carbonyls. (Source: the nutrition reporter)

Curiosity: So, there's evidence that HFCS is responsible for tissue damage -- I'm thinking major organs are made up of tissues, i.e., lungs, heart, kidneys. It makes no sense to me how a product linked to tissue damage can even be on the market!?

Curiosity: So, is it true that we have government agencies with the responsibility of ensuring food & other products are safe? Oh, maybe the government agencies only write the policy. Does that mean we need "food police"?

Curiosity: So, there really are human beings who can produce and sell products that might be dangerous to other beings . . . and they can do this with a clear conscience?

What can we do? I say "we" because I know I'm not alone in feeling overwhelmed with wanting "to do" something and yet feeling like I'm just one individual. Yet I know the answer is to just keep on writing and talking -- researching and sharing what I find -- asking questions and sharing what I find out.

It wasn't curiosity that killed the cat; it was automatic, unconscious behavior. If the cat had truly been curious, he would've been more aware of his environment and the danger.

2009-01-04T10:03:00.000-08:00

An "Opening" Argument

Here's something that most people can relate to -- recently my husband, Dave, & I had an argument that unfolded in an "opening" that I'm still relishing. It's not important what the argument was about. What's important is how "practicing being present" can truly open us up to so much more in Life.

The Argument
Dave & I had an argument (we hardly ever argue) . . . each of us was trying to be heard by the other. I told him he was NOT GETTING ME, NOT GETTING WHAT I WAS SAYING. He didn’t say it, but I knew the very moment it was out of my mouth, that I was NOT GETTING HIM either. The energy of the argument changed . . . I think for a number of reasons. In that present moment . . .
--I noticed (realized, consciously) what we were doing – talking to each other without the other half (listening to each other AND trying to understand). I think it’s important for me to point out that this noticing was not a “remembering” of some rule of communication. It was an actual “Oh! Look at this!”
--I realized that if I let myself really listen to him (which meant asking questions to help me understand where he was in that moment rather than assume I already knew) that it did not mean I had to give up anything about myself. Hmmm . . . this realization was interesting, because in the moment I had not realized I felt I would have to “abandon myself.”
--Other realizations that I won’t go into (the first two were the biggest)

An “Opening”
The argument itself was not what opened me to see myself and Reality more clearly – it was the direct experience of noticing what was happening simultaneously in the field WHILE we were arguing. I never would’ve noticed what was happening in the field if I had not started sensing within myself – within my own body – to be present with whatever I was experiencing in the moment. Admittedly, I was not fully present when the argument began; and, I was not fully present as I defended my position at the beginning of the argument. However, once I became present; once I inquired into what I was feeling emotionally AND what I was experiencing in my body, then the field opened to include much more than I ever expected. One very important piece now included in this bigger space was Dave.

Direct Experience -- No ‘Secret’
Using the communication-process in the past has always been more like using the steps in a manual, if you know what I mean. It was “this is the way you’re supposed to communicate.” What happened during the argument with Dave was spontaneous, in the moment, and continued to unfold in each successive moment only because I became very present. Even the fact that I could actually listen to him (let him have his air-space) and did not need to abandon myself was part of the process.

How interesting to discover for oneself something that she knew to be true only in her mind! I’m thinking now that this may very well mean that although I knew “in my mind” that I did not need to abandon myself (during an argument) in order to listen to another, there must’ve been some part of me that disbelieved it . . . UNTIL I actually experienced it for myself! (Note: Real, direct experience is something Positive Thinking gurus and followers, i.e., The Secret, are totally missing.)

A Dynamic Field
Looking back on this event, I can see even more how dynamic the field was during the argument. When I say the field was dynamic, I mean that it was active, not static at all. Changes in the field were happening whether we were aware of it or not. Different aspects of our personality (personal histories including psychological, emotional levels of ourselves) showed up in the field along with social, cultural history that’s part of us because we’re part of a historical society.

On the personal level, I can now see how a child-version of myself was present in the field. I’m reminded of how when I was little I could NOT “win” an argument with my parents. I’d imagine most kids feel that way yet I don’t want to ignore or discard it. At first it seems odd to me seeing the word “win” (or “lose”) alongside the word argument. I wondered “why does there need to be a winner and a loser of an argument? As I sat with the question, I recognized how the field is affected by so many things we’re unconscious of . . . for example, the little girl who felt she could not be heard (and somehow winning an argument with her parents would mean she was heard?) . . . Also, in the field, is the very origin of the word argument as well as how it’s been carried along from generation-to-generation through time, i.e., Greek/Roman politics, philosophers, etc. would present arguments (and our government officials do that even today ). There is definitely a winning/losing aspect to all that.

Drama, Parts & Roles
An argument (as it’s practiced or played out) usually includes defending a particular view, a view that fills our field. Think of the very act of defending and what that means! Think of a castle defended by a moat and huge stone walls! It’s well-defended because the defenses are strong and NOTHING is supposed to penetrate those defenses. We defend that in which we believe, something to which we’re attached for some reason. The attachment is like a clinging to something that defines us in some way – it becomes us; we become it – or so it seems in the mind. And, if that’s where we live most of the time, in the mind, then how can we be other than our thoughts and beliefs.

So, in the argument with Dave, I “thought and believed” that Dave was not “getting me” (not being seen nor heard). There is truth still to this day that in the beginning of the argument (before the shift) he wasn’t getting me -- nor was I getting him. But in the beginning of that argument, I somehow became “the one who is not being seen & heard.” This one, this piece of my personality, not only needed defending (victim or damsel in distress – hence metaphorically, the moat and the walls to the castle are in place), the only way to “win” this battle (‘argument’ becomes ‘battle’ now) is to be RIGHT and to force the enemy (huh, now Dave is my enemy?) to submit to me, to my view. My Defender-self has arrived in full armor and ready for battle – to force Dave to submit, to see things my way. What a drama!

Waking Up
The shift happened when I woke up to what was happening. The moment I “remembered” to notice what I was experiencing INSIDE the field changed. It became bigger, more spacious and included more of Reality including clarity and understanding. By taking mere moments to pay attention to what was happening inside of myself, I included more of myself. By including more of myself, I also included Dave and everything else that was arising in the dynamic field. The drama dissipated as an illusion loses form. In this fresh, new space Dave and I actually began communicating with each other. I could hear him and see him. He could hear me and see me. The only thing being protected now was Truth -- our True Nature. Each of us was free to be who we really were (are) which includes our vulnerability. Vulnerability includes innocence and a new perspective like a fresh breeze. I actually experienced a solid sense of being supported by our willingness to be present and undefended. It seems to me that in that moment our egos dissolved and we stood naked before each other. There really was no threat – only love and truth.

2008-12-22T11:17:00.000-08:00

A Somatic Meditation

If you practice this meditation for awhile, you'll experience some interesting things as you go about your day. How long is awhile? It's actually different for everyone. It may be a few days or weeks. It may even be that you experience something different that very same day. What can you expect? Again, there's a smorgasbord of experiences and they're all good. You'll actually feel more alive, more in tune with your body, your inner-being, and with others. You'll feel more centered within yourself, more connected, grounded. You'll find that some things that might have pushed your buttons in the past no longer have the same charge they once did.

Somatic has to do "with the body." This particular practice brings consciousness to your physical body merely by focusing your own awareness on different parts of your body. This is not a body-scan. You don't want to zip through this. You want to do this very, very slowly -- take your time. Give this time to yourself; luxuriate in the whole experience as if you're taking an awareness bubble-bath.

When I do this meditation practice, I start with one side of my body beginning with one foot; and then I move up my body. When I get to my head I move back down the other side of my body and end with the opposite foot.

You want to use your awareness to really feel whatever part of the body you're focusing on. For example, let's say you start with your right foot, notice (with your awareness) the feel of your foot, the way it curves, the temperature, the texture. Just notice whatever you notice. Then, as you move up to your ankle, notice (with your awareness) the bones in the ankle, how they protrude out a little. Notice how when you move up the front of your leg from the ankle, to the shin, how the skin over the shin-bone feels. Is it taut? Is it sensitive? Just notice whatever you notice. Go over your whole body with this awareness-touching.

Try this meditation practice in bed before you get up in the morning and before you go to sleep at night. If you want to use this at work during a break, go for it. Experiment with it. Enjoy it!

2008-11-27T11:13:00.000-08:00

How's Your Energy for LIFE?

Think about that question. Really feel into it. Right now, in this very moment, are you able to tap into yourself and really feel your own aliveness? Are you aware of this feeling of aliveness during your day in whatever it is that you're doing? I wonder if you actually feel more alive some times and then other times you really don't feel anything at all.

These are the same questions I asked myself as I read an excellent newsletter article, "Why Personal Boundaries Matter" by Lauren Zander. Zander is the founder of Handel Group, a private corporate consulting company in New York. Thanks to her article, I was reminded of the importance of personal boundaries in keeping ourselves centered and authentic. Only when we're being centered and authentic within ourselves are we able to be with others in an authentic way. I was also reminded of how naive I was most of my life as to how important personal boundaries are to our health and well-being. Personal boundaries actually do effect our zest for life.

A Personal Boundary Connection
Isn't it interesting how our energy actually gets zapped when we fail to establish and maintain our own personal boundaries? There really is a connection to how we feel when we establish and maintain our personal boundaries and when we don't. Here are a couple of examples from Zander's article of personal boundaries being violated :

-- the mom who works long hours at the office all week and spends her evenings and weekends caring for her family with nary a break for herself

-- the dad who always says "yes" to requests from neighbors, relatives and friends -- even when helping them intrudes on his own plans.

Did you recognize anything about yourself in either of these examples? The thing about boundaries that many people don't understand is that boundaries show that you respect and honor your own needs. Do you feel that having your own needs is foreign to you? If so, isn't it time for you to (1) identify what your needs are and then (2) establish some personal boundaries that can help you get your needs met?

On the other hand, there are those whose boundaries are so rigid to ensure their own needs are met that their needs always take center stage. Quite often we see a dynamic between partners where one person has strong boundaries and the other has weak or no boundaries at all.

Identifying Unmet Needs
We all need to be cognizant of our own personal needs; and, quite frankly, we should not expect someone else to know what those needs are. Yet sometimes we get so lost in routines of the day that we don't even think about our needs -- specifically the little ones. For example, maybe you need to take your lunch-time away from your office instead of sitting at your desk. Maybe you need to allow yourself time to take a nap. How can you discover your unmet needs? The next time you become frustrated, annoyed or whiny, ask yourself questions about what needs you may not be honoring.

It's important to recognize that it's OK to have needs and to honor them. It's also important to remember that other people have needs and we need to honor them as well. When our needs conflict with others, it's time for communication and possibly negotiation. Remember communication includes listening as well as talking. Oftentimes when we listen we find out information we did not know. By letting others know what we need and listening to what others need, we may very well come to a better understanding as to what it is we actually do need.

2008-10-27T11:11:00.000-07:00

Stress as a Habit

First let me be clear that I'm not saying that stress is always a habit. There are many things that can cause stress. We can experience stress from outside influences as well as inner-influences. The whole idea that stress can be a habit hit me a few years ago when I was working with a Naturopath and he noticed that my resting pulse was higher than normal. We were looking at at various kinds of things that might be considered stressors in my life, including the possibility of a sensitivity to certain foods. He gave me the assignment of keeping a record of my pulse-rate throughout the day, beginning first thing in the morning before I even got out of bed.

One of the best things that came out of my work with him was the realization that I'd thrived on stress most of my life. For me, stress had become a habit, a pattern of behavior that was completely unconscious. My first clue showed up when he asked me: "What's the very first thing you do in the morning?" Whatever I answered, he shook his head and said: "No, I mean, when your eyes open, when you wake up, what do you do?"

Three years later I still remember my answer to the Naturopath. With great sense of aplomb and energy, I raised my arm, hand in a victory-fist and said: "I jump out of bed like a race-horse leaving the gate!" I'll bet if he would've checked my pulse-rate in that moment it would have been extremely high. He looked at me, smiled, then asked if I would change my normal waking behavior for two-weeks so that we could get a record of my resting pulse-rate. He explained that until I took my resting pulse, I needed to do everything v e r y slowly. He described a scenario where I'd actually recognize that I was waking up first; I'd slowly open my eyes and just lay there. Next, I might just notice things, like the light in the room, my breathing, maybe even my heartbeat, and the stillness in the room. After laying there for awhile, before even raising my head, I needed to take my pulse-rate.

Waking Up with Presence
My Naturopath gave me a gift of presence, first, by being very present with me and describing alternatives for how I could begin my day in a state of calm instead of stress. For all the years that I'd been waking up like a race-horse, I unconsciously had been putting undue stress on my body. I was putting myself in an automatic state of fight-or-flight which had a direct affect on my hormones and my heart-rate. Secondly, his wanting to see a record of my resting pulse meant that, for at least two weeks, I needed to begin my day in a way that I don't remember ever doing -- waking up with presence. When we are present, time literally slows down. It's like watching a single-snowflake as it falls in the midst of all the other snowflakes. That single snowflake appears to be falling much slower than all the other snowflakes. If you've never experienced this phenomenon, try it next time it snows.

Mistaken Aliveness
Something else I've learned about myself and stress is that with stress I often experience anxiousness which on one hand feels like a lot of energy but on the other hand (after awhile) it feels energy-draining. While doing some self-inquiry work around stress, I discovered a fascinating truth about how I experience stress & anxiety -- it has a similarity with the feeling of aliveness. Isn't that interesting? I wonder if somehow we forget how to authentically feel such a basic, essential quality like aliveness? I'm curious whether it's possible to actually mistake the experience of stress or anxiety for aliveness itself. What do you think?

2008-09-27T11:05:00.000-07:00

A Daily Practice --
Periodic 3-Minute Presence

Here's a daily practice that you can do multiple times during the day every day. And, if you will do this practice, I can assure you that you will experience more clarity and more energy throughout your day. Now, since this is a 3-minute exercise, there should be no excuses that you cannot find the time! I won't name names. You know who you are J

You can do this at home, work, the gym, while standing in line, while waiting for a traffic light to turn green. You can do this practice any time, anywhere.

Here's what you do:
Wherever you are, whatever you're doing . . . STOP. Focus your attention inside yourself. See what you notice. Whatever you notice don't judge it and don't let your mind start dialoging about it (or you might go over your 3-minute practice time limit!). Just notice whatever you notice. Your stomach might be rumbling (yes, you might be hungry but remember -- no dialogue -- just notice it). Your breathing might be shallow. Just notice it (you might actually spontaneously take a deeper breath, or not). Your toes may feel cramped. If you're outside, you may feel a breeze across your skin. If you're inside, you might feel air from an air vent move your hair a bit. Whatever you notice is just whatever you notice.

The most important part of this 3-minute practice is your complete focus. If you go over 3-minutes, that's OK. You may need to time yourself in the beginning, but after awhile you'll be able to do this without timing yourself.

2008-07-22T08:16:00.000-07:00

Inquiring into Who’s Manifesting What?

We really are multidimensional beings. We exist with many bodies, i.e., physical, subtle, and causal. Each body manifests itself as an expression of Being. Once we’re able to shift our perspective back and forth from the narrow, bounded Ego/Personality-view and the vast, boundless Soul/Spirit-view, we’re able to recognize that the more contracted perspective comes from the egoic-mind. We’re also able to recognize that the perspective from the Soul/Spirit is more expansive and inclusive – a big heart-mind. As mature, integrated human beings, we’re to learn how to consciously hold both realities. True choice (intention) can only come from our capacity to hold both realities.

The act of manifesting itself is a sort of contraction – a pulling out of the plenum that which is already present – a bringing it into a denser form. Since the egoic-mind operates from relative-knowing or archived past experiences, what appears to be the act of manifesting is extremely limited. The egoic-mind is quite childlike (narcissistic) – it wants what it wants without thought of the whole. The egoic-mind uses manipulation and seduction to get what it wants. And, the egoic-mind will resist any manifestation that threatens its identity (structures).

Let’s look at an example, a woman, Saleme, decides to sell a particular product. She feels passionate about what she’s selling; she sees how the product can be beneficial to anyone who purchases it; and, she needs the income. Selling this product is the work she’s chosen as a means for making money. The problem is that she’s not manifesting the sales, not making money. As a result, she feels rejection every time a lead hits a dead-end. Her own intrinsic value is merged with the value she sees in the product she’s trying to sell; so when someone is not interested in purchasing the product, there’s a part of her (egoic-mind) that interprets it in a way that tells her that she has no value. The egoic-mind says “You’re not enough. If you were more (fill-in-the-blank) then you would be a better salesperson.” This part of the egoic-mind is often referred to as the super-ego. It’s the internal-parent, the inner-critic/judge.

What is Saleme to do? First she must recognize that what’s happening is an inner-dynamic within her mind; and, she needs to get to the root of this inner-dynamic. She needs practice experiencing her own intrinsic-value. Also, inquiry-work could help her see how the egoic-mind is translating early life-experiences into the present. Some part(s) of her ego is putting up roadblocks to keep her from experiencing success in what she wants to do. Who is it that’s manifesting the feelings of rejection? Who is it that sees selling this particular product so important? There are any number of questions that can arise during authentic inquiry-work where questions open us to the larger dimensions of our being. This whole experience is part of her soul’s journey. It’s not enough to know that she has intrinsic value – she must experience it for herself – for we don’t really “know” anything intimately unless we experience it directly.

2008-06-17T07:27:00.000-07:00

A Soul Connection to Manifesting in Life

Once we understand that we actually have different perspectives -- a view from our ego and a view from our soul -- it may very well shed more light on how manifesting works in Life (For soul/ego perspectives, see April blog-article "A Soul Connection to Life's Experiences). Awareness is the light we shine. It is awareness that informs us when we ask the questions: "From which perspective am I viewing others? Myself? Life Itself?" As you read this article, you might even ask the question "Why is it important for me to know which perspective?" The short answer is that the view from your ego is limited -- the view from your soul is much more inclusive.

We are constantly manifesting with every breath we breathe and, I might add, with every thought that comes and goes. No matter whether any of it is conscious or unconscious -- it's all the act of manifesting. We rely on many unconscious and necessary processes to manifest in order to keep us alive. For example, it's a good thing we don't need to always be conscious of our breathing in order to be sure we breathe. That said, it's important to see and understand what we're manifesting unconsciously with our thoughts, ideas, and beliefs. It's interesting that the verb to manifest is synonymous with to reveal, to become apparent (by seeing more clearly whether visibly or through understanding).

There's a tendency for some toward thinking that they "should" only view the world from a spiritual (soul) perspective. Posh! Developing an ego is not an accident. Ego development is the beginning of the process of becoming a human being. This process begins in childhood as a means to help the child feel safe, to give the child the capability to become less dependent on parents so s/he can go out into the world. The problem inherent in this process has to do with forgetting who we are. This problem reveals itself later in life when we find we're still using thoughts, ideas, beliefs from the past that helped us through our developmental process. There are few guides who can remind us that we are not limited to the ego's perspective -- we are more than what the ego perceives and Life itself is more than the ego perceives. Imagine what it would be like for children to have such a guide – someone who understands the necessity of the child’s ego-development process as a means for individuation and autonomy AND who can reflect the seemingly paradoxical bigger truth of interconnected wholeness.
(to be continued)

2008-04-04T18:53:00.000-07:00

A Soul Connection to Life's Experiences

Have you ever wondered what the connection is between your life's experiences and your soul? In fact, maybe a better question is "Are you conscious of experiencing life through the various expressions of your soul?"

Initially, I gave my healing practice the name A Soul Connection for two reasons: (1) it best describes the exploration work my clients and I do together, and (2) it attracts people who are ready to break out of the rigid patterns from which their ego/personality confines the soul.

It's true that the development of the ego/personality is a necessary part of the process of being human. The problem arises when we recognize that we feel cut off from the essence of who we truly are. Whenever we have an image in our mind of what we should be doing, how we should look, how we should act, we're completely disconnected from who we are -- it feels as if we've lost our connection to our very soul.

A Soul's Perspective
From the perspective of the soul, most things are very interesting. The soul has a natural curiosity and innocence. The soul isn't wanting to know things to archive them in the head for later use. Instead, the soul wants to know things directly from actual experience each and every moment.

The soul isn't worried about what other people think of her, about proving her value, strength, intelligence, or beauty. The soul is value intrinsically. The soul is intelligence itself as well as strength, beauty and much, much more.

As souls, each of us are constantly changing -- we love change! We want to experience as much in life as possible. We are the very essence of aliveness. We want to try new things. We're curious about everything.

An *Ego/Personality Perspective
From the ego perspective, "the ego rules!" The ego thinks it's in charge of everything and tries to control everything. That said, the ego is afraid of everything -- especially change. The ego uses fear to keep us small, weak, hidden/invisible, and numb. The ego is not capable of trusting any one or anything which means everything is a threat.

It's the ego that keeps us separated from our connection to our soul.

(to be continued)

*For ease in writing this piece, I'll shorten "ego/personality" to merely "ego."

2007-09-17T21:13:00.000-07:00

More Explorations with Essential Oils

Last week's dental visit went very well. I got high marks for the condition of my gums and teeth. In fact, there's been improvement in the gum-pockets. I can't help but wonder if using Thieves essential oil on my toothpaste twice a day hasn't helped the condition of my gums.

We've had more week-end house guests and so I've had more opportunities to offer essential oil uses and remedies to folks to try. Our friend, Dani loved the Lemon oil in water with stevia that I mentioned in my last post. Since writing that post, I purchased some Grapefruit oil and have been using it the same way. Dani loved that one too. One day she also tried some Thieves on the bottoms of her feet after a shower to help with an allergy-symptom (stuffy nose, watery eyes). She may have been allergic to one of our cats, although she has a cat. I think she love the Thieves oil as much as I do.

Another guest had a congested cough. He'd listened to us talking about how some of us had used a couple of drops of Thieves in some honey for respiration, problems dealing with colds, etc. Finally he asked if we could fix him some Thieves and Honey for his cough. We did and he stopped coughing almost immediately. He slept later than normal the next morning; and, when he awoke he said that he'd slept better than he had in a few days.

I ordered the Essential Oil Desk Reference -- the package that included the big book itself along with a smaller version that's spiral bound to carry, plus a CD. The CD is wonderful for doing searches and the small spiral bound book goes with me wherever I take my case of oils, i.e., trips. If you're interested in purchasing this desk reference, go to www.essentialscience.net.

Lastly, I've got a Young Living website up: www.youngliving.com/dsaunders. Come visit my site and take a look around.

That's it for now. I'll keep on writing about my experiences and explorations.

2007-08-06T17:17:00.000-07:00

Discovering Young Living Essential Oils

Such an exciting time! A couple of weeks ago I took a plunge that I didn't see coming. I signed-up to be a Young Living product distributor. If someone would've told me I'd be doing this, I would have looked at them in utter disbelief. Why? Because I typically don't like selling anything. So, why'd I do it? Hmmmm, let me see.

A distributor gets all products at wholesale value which is 24% off the retail value. To maintain my wholesale customer pricing, the only obligation is to purchase $50 worth of product(s) per year. That’s it!

So, to get started with my exploration of essential oils, I enrolled as a distributor with one of the four Start Living Kits: Everyday Oils. The Young Living Everyday Oils Kit includes the following 5 ml bottles of essential oils: Lavender, Peppermint, Lemon, Thieves, Frankincense, Valor, PanAway, Peace & Calming, and Purification.

When my package of essential oils was delivered, I felt like a kid opening everything and smelling everything. It was wonderful. I'd been researching all the ways I could experiment and use the oils.

One of the first things I did was to put a few drops of lemon oil in a 10 oz glass of purified water along with a package of Stevia then stirred it and drank it. It was the most delicious-tasting lemonade I've ever had. I carry a bottle of lemon oil in my purse to add a couple of drops to water served in restaurants.

Here are some other ways I've been experimenting with the Everyday Oils:

peppermint -- (1) I massaged my husbands back with a few drops where he was sore from working on re-building our deck; (2) A house guest asked me if I had anything that would help her with a sore neck and shoulders. I offered her the peppermint oil and explained how to use it.; and, (3) Another house guest had an upset stomach and I suggested one drop of peppermint in a 10 oz glass of purified water.
Lavender -- For relaxing before sleep, I massage a couple of drops on the bottom of each foot before going to bed; then, I run my hands over my pillows to pick up the scent off my hands.
Thieves -- I've been adding one drop of Thieves to my Tom's toothpaste. It tastes great and I feel like it's helping my gums as well as possibly reducing plaque (will need to research this).

I'm still experimenting and will continue to write more about what I discover. In the meantime, if you or anyone you know is interested in becoming a wholesale member, or distributor, for Young Living Products, feel free to contact me.

2007-07-25T16:28:00.000-07:00

HoloSync CD: Awakening Prologue Continuing

It's been about 10 weeks since I began my daily practice of listening to the Awakening Prologue CD. I must admit I'm still amazed at how I look forward to sitting, listening, and at times, even adding my Kath-meditation practice while I'm listening. So, it's true that you can do your regular meditation practice while listening. Time goes so fast, or maybe it just doesn't even exist while doing this practice.

Here's something interesting I've discovered: I can do this practice in the car -- as a passenger, of course; and, I still feel the meditative-state is very deep. We've had a couple of 4-5 hour car-trips where I knew that I could grab an hour on the way to listen to my HoloSync CD. I brought my eye-mask to block out the light, put my headphones on and it all worked like a charm.

There's only been one instance where I felt any discomfort in listening to this first CD set and that was when I accidently pressed a button on my CD-player where I realized after about 5 minutes that I was listening to Immersion (Track 2) instead of beginning with The Dive (Track 1). Before I realized my mistake, I noticed I was feeling "antsy" (which was very unusual). I kept feeling like time was dragging and yet I knew I hadn't been sitting and listening for very long. I wanted to get up and do something else. The experience was so unusual that I decided to look at the track-window on the CD-player. That's when I saw Track 2 rather than Track 1. Since then I've been very careful to make sure that I'm on the right Track before I take my glasses off!

Since that one uncomfortable experience, I've re-read a couple of the support letters I received from Bill Harris, Centerpointe's founder, and he mentions the importance of noticing, watching, and just observing with curiosity what's happening. That's excellent advice to use when I'm meditating at other times during the day without the CD.

It seems that I'm not the only one who for a long time had this image in my head about what it looked like and felt like -- how it should be -- to be meditating properly. No one ever told me that the times when you're struggling during the meditation are often the deepest meditative states. I didn't know that until I read some research Bill Harris mentioned in his book "Thresholds of the Mind."

So, yes, I'm still practicing and learning and enjoying the whole exploration!

If you're interested in trying this new technology that truly helps one reach meditative states, click here.

2007-06-20T11:55:00.000-07:00

HoloSync CD: Awakening Prologue

For 14 days I listened to Centerpointe's HoloSync CD called "The Dive" -- the first part of their program called "Awakening Prologue." There was definitely a sense of deeper meditation and not as much monkey-mind chatter as I normally experience with other meditation/sitting practice.

I found, and continue to find after about 40 days with the program, that I look forward to listening to these CDs and have included this listening as part of my spiritual practice. I listen according to the protocol provided by Centerpointe's founder, Bill Harris: I listen to "The Dive" for the first 30 min. and then immediately follow with listening to "Immersion" for another 30 min. This one hour sitting/listening goes by without noticing time -- it's as if I just sat down moments ago and the hour is up.

There's another CD that I listen to at night as I'm falling to sleep; it's called Longevity. I love the idea of communicating with ones's DNA. There are two parts to this CD that I alternate on different nights: (1) the first track is beautiful music with nature-sounds plus Bill Harris' voice leading a sort of guided meditation with affirmations concerning health of DNA, etc.; and, (2) the second track's music is a little different along with the nature-sounds and includes the same affirmations but on this track they're silent (subliminal).

There are a number of benefits that I'm experiencing that I feel I can attribute to listening to the HoloSync CDs, one of which is that my sitting practice has finally become consistent. Not only am I sitting and listening to the HoloSync CDs, I'm also doing my other sitting practice once or twice a day. I can't tell you how amazing this consistency is for me! Other benefits I'm discovering are the same as what many who meditate experience consistently: (1) lowered stress-levels, and (2) increased energy, intuition, ability to focus, and problem-solving skill.

I must admit that I'm looking forward to moving to the next level (set) of CDs in the near future; and, I'll write more about this subject in the future as I continue with the programs.

For more information about Centerpointe's Holosync CD programs, CLICK HERE.

2007-05-10T06:33:00.000-07:00

About the DVD “The Secret”

I’ve procrastinated in writing about it, but I’ve clearly known that I need to write about it. Writing helps me connect to the deeper recesses of truth for me, so here goes.

Let me begin by admitting that I actually cried (well, tears welled up in my eyes) a couple of times while watching the DVD. I felt “some truth” being touched within me; and, simultaneously, I sensed what I’ve termed “snake-oil salesmen.”

We create our own reality? I don’t think so . . . at least not in the sense that this DVD portrays. Now, I can see how different identity-structures within our psyche create what might be believed to be reality. It’s not reality though . . . it’s an image of reality seen through the lens of an identity-structure – a limited perspective from our ego/personality.

I do agree to some extent that what we focus our energy on can manifest. What does this really mean? It means that when we’re clear and determined about what we want or need, the potential is there! Actually, potentiality is always there, but it takes recognizing what we want, being clear about it, opening to all the possibilities of attaining it, and taking action to move toward it (whatever “it” is). Another piece that I think is extremely important is being aware of our own capabilities and limitations, which doesn’t need to be a show stopper, by the way.

If, on the other hand, we’re stuck in an identification having to do with some deficiency, i.e., not good enough, smart enough, not worthy, etc., then guess where our energy (thoughts and actions) are focused! Speaking of deficiencies . . . we ALL experience deficient feelings – including these so-called “enlightened ones of The Secret”! Repressing or ignoring them does NOT make them go away. These feelings provide rich soil to dig into and explore. Replacing these “negative feelings” with positive feelings only covers them up. When we do cover up whatever we’re experiencing (because it’s ‘negative’), we are not in touch with Reality and we’re digging a deeper hole for ourselves.

Speaking of hole reminds me of Almaas’ “Theory of Holes” which has to do with deficiencies. Our culture of advertising and consumerism feeds our sense of deficiency; and, this DVD does exactly that! Here’s a short excerpt describing the “Theory of Holes”:

“ . . . the sense that something is lacking, and therefore, something is wrong. When we feel such a deficiency, we try to fill the hole we feel in ourselves. . . we try to fill the hole from the outside.”

The DVD is selling “how to fill your holes from the outside.” This tactic is not as empowering as portrayed. How can you be empowered if you are unconscious as to what’s really going on inside? Why not be curious about a limiting belief and explore how you came to believe it and even challenge it? Inner-exploration is more likely to lead to manifesting what you want, because (1) you’ll have more clarity about what you really want; and, (2) you’ll be more relaxed and open to the possibilities of whatever it is.

2007-05-08T06:28:00.000-07:00

Opening to the Flow of Reality that is Life
Continuation of Exploring a Kabbalistic View of Nothingness

Hesed-like Nature –
There’s nothing fixed about Reality. Reality is dynamic, constantly changing from moment to moment. Any identity structure, whether perceived as good or bad, is fixed. From this perspective, how can any identity structure be a part of true reality? The soul itself is dynamic, flowing, and can be experienced as such; however, these aspects of the soul cannot be experienced directly from within any fixed-structure of the personality.

Initiating the Opening – Expanding the Container
Possibly the most important step toward initiating even a crack of an opening is to recognize the contracted-state imposed by the identity-structure. Recognition is not easy when one is locked in place within an identity. Opening to ‘what is’ can be perceived as very scary at first, especially from the perspective of a contracted state, from within an identity-structure.

It’s ironic how an identity can make one experience a variety of negative emotions and feelings and yet the mere thought of exploring the experience feels threatening. Why? The negative emotions and feelings are familiar – known. Exploring them moves one into fear, fear that whatever will be experienced will be terrible, painful, and eternal. Now how does an identity know what will be? It doesn’t know.

Identities are comfortable with their miseries because at least the miseries are familiar territory.. The soul, by its very nature, is curious about experiencing whatever arises and exploring every aspect of the experience to see and feel whatever there is in the moment. The soul is naturally open, dynamic, constantly moving, changing, growing, flowing, developing. An identity is fixed, rigid, narrow, stuck, limited.

Approaches to Opening
All of the following approaches can be used to re-connect with personal consciousness – the soul. The order is not important. For example, one might use the 2nd approach first which can lead to revealing something about the 1st. In the moment that we practice these approaches, there’s a connection resulting in liberation from an identity, an identity that’s rooted in the past. In practicing these approaches, one is present to a direct experience in the present where healing takes place. Healing is about awakening into the present to whom we truly are. It does take practice. The more one practices, the more easily one can be present with ‘what is’ – with reality, life itself.

1. Recognize the contracted state through the feeling, the emotion. Name it.This first step can be enlightening in itself. An identity wants to be seen and understood, because it’s a part of us frozen in time that was not seen and understood. One can recognize the identity through paying attention to what one is experiencing (the feeling, emotion).

2. Ask open-ended questions with curiosity and wonder. Asking questions that are open-ended, like “how” or “what,” invites a full expression of what’s being experienced in the moment. Using beginning statements like: “It’s interesting that I feel a tightness in my chest . . . I wonder, what does this tightness look like from the inside?” Using consciousness itself, with all the creativity available in consciousness itself, invites realizations beyond anything an identity could imagine. Other questions or insights can arise while exploring from the inside of the feeling or emotion.

3. Locate where in the body the experience is taking place; describe it; let it unfold, change, move; and, describe in each moment what’s experienced. Embodying the experience in the present actually metabolizes the experience. Identity structures are really unmetabolized experiences.

To be continued . . .

2007-04-22T09:01:00.000-07:00

Identity Structures and Moving through the Tree of Life
A Continuation from "Exploring a Kabbalistic View of Nothingness"

Scanning what I’d written yesterday, I had two thoughts:

(1) This depiction of the tree reminds me of what appears to be mythically god-like characters (Keter, Chochmah, and Binah or gods of Will, Wisdom, and Understanding) who are dropping down what looks like a double rope. When the rope hits bottom, it begins to reveal itself as the Tree of Life.

(2) I thought the process, as I’d written it yesterday, reminded me of how the IKH process works . . . with a client, we first make the space (TzimTzum) and within this space is a reflective (and often transparent) quality that enables the two of us to do the work. Usually we begin with wherever the client is in the moment: an issue arising, a concern, a curiosity. But there’s an identity that speaks, sometimes more than one. And, when anyone is stuck (fixed) in any one identity (Nega-Gevurah within Hod?), there is little to no movement, change, growth (Nega-Gevurah within Netzach?). The issue (content) reveals the foundation (Yesod), insubstantial as it may be, where one stands. One built that foundation, even when one might think others built it. Yet rather than blaming oneself, hating oneself, one needs to promote the change and growth that one needs to move from the stuckness – to grow up. The alternative is to remain a sprout that doesn’t have the energy to reach for the Sun and to receive the nourishment, the nutrients, necessary for growth.

Until one is aware of the Truth of the situation, the stuckness, the complete and utter imbalance in Life that this identification causes, there is no desire to change, no desire for growth. When this desire to change is accompanied with the awareness of the Truth of ‘what is,’ one stands in the midst of Tiferet. At this point, as one can sense the harmony of Reality Itself AND simultaneously realizes the wanting to become unstuck, one may be inspired to remember, to “check in” with Reality often (directly, in present time) in an effort to stay as awake as possible (conscious) of this point that includes both ‘what is’ AND ‘wanting to unstick’ (relax?).

Now, the harmony of Reality doesn’t need to feel like Heaven, like some might think. Who really even knows what Heaven feels like anyway? Actually, maybe a better way to say it is that one can be in-harmony with Reality. From a place of harmony, there’s no automatic reaction to the experience; there’s clarity; and, ‘right action’ is evident. Right action is crystal clear. Why? Because one is in present time. Automatic reactions come from past time, which is something one has learned from the personal historic past.

Gevurah-like Nature of Identity Structures
All identities are structures in our body/mind/soul. These structures are fixed and constrict by their very nature. Young children, however, play with identities. A young child can expand (1) personal self-boundaries, their sense of self, to include identity structures that they’re curious about exploring. This exploration is relatively easy for young children since their sense of self is tenuous until age six or seven – the structures that comprise the personality/ego is still forming until that age. So, to young children, these structures are as disposable as the cardboard boxes they love to imagine as forts and castles. In play, young children don the garments of an identity that they’re interested in exploring. The garments include not only clothing, like cowboy boots or ballerina tutus, but also the assumed character traits the child imagines might go with the chosen character-identity.

These character-identities created during play come and go easily for the young child, depending on the interest and explorative nature of the child. These identities are imaginary and are chosen by the child. Depending on the depth of imagination available, the identities can be perceived as real ‘temporarily’. In play, the young child temporarily leaves collective reality to enjoy a wonderfully imaginative world that exists in the child’s mind.

As so-called adults, our identities are also donned like garments, yet most of our identities are not chosen consciously, however; and, these identity-structures (fixed-structures) form fixed-personalities. The structure of the fixed-personality thickens and becomes more and more rigid with age. Within this rigid-fixedness, there is no room, no place for growth or for change. And through this fixed-personality lens, one participates in a fixed-reality without dynamism, flow, potentiality – a narrow, lifeless dead-zone. True Nature itself is obscured, hidden from the individual.

The very basis of an identity-structure foundation is formed from a mistaken identity -- “this is who I am.” Some time in the past, the child perceived something to be true based on a mis-perception of the reality of an experience. The child is never taught how to “check out” reality, so the identity becomes a fixed-structure in the personality. This personality retains a fixed-belief about the way reality is and his/her relationship with that reality resulting in the world being created in the image of this belief born from a quite innocent mis-perception.

To be continued . . .

(1) This capability to expand has a Hesedic-quality where there’s more space for creativity and flow.

2007-04-21T04:00:00.000-07:00

Exploring a Kabbalistic View of Nothingness

Awakened at 3:33 a.m. thinking of nothingness and emptiness; and it was like a part of me trying to write poetry about it. And, then, my mind began looking at those two word-concepts and experiences. I thought of Ayn Sof Nothingness and Malkhut as emptiness.

In the Kabbalistic creation story, Ayn Sof (Nothingness) pulls back and makes space within Itself for creation to take place – Nothing-ness makes room for Something-ness. From my analytical (?) perspective, it appears that Nothing becomes One and then makes room for an Other – Two. There’s a part of me that asks: “How does that work?” And, another part answers: “Don’t even try to figure it out.” Well, the true part of each of these ‘voices’ in my head is that, yes, I’d like to understand, and yes, I don’t think I can ‘figure it out;’ however, I can be open to the potential of understanding as it unfolds – if it unfolds.

This Kabbalistic view of nothingness included a memory of my experience of Malkhut and emptiness as the last sephirah on the traditional Tree of Life. In this memory-concept, Malkhut is empty – has no light of its own – yet reflects the light from all the other sephirot. Malkhut has this reflective quality, like a mirror, or still water, or . . . hmmm . . . a question just arose: “I wonder if the qualities of clear transparency AND reflectiveness can be combined (integrated)?” As I look up from my writing, I notice a glass covering on the doors to our stereo cabinet. I can see a reflection; AND, I can see it’s transparency -- I can see the stereo equipment through the glass. So, my direct experience in this moment answers the question – yes, both qualities can co-exist together. So, this could mean Malkhut’s quality of emptiness can co-exist with its quality of reflectiveness. Could this be called transparent-reflectiveness? Or, maybe reflective-transparency? Interesting.

I’ve always thought of Malkhut as a container; and, in my perception of containers, they hold something, or nothing (could be empty). And, here’s where my distinguishing nothingness and emptiness came from, I think. I experienced emptiness as the inside of a container and nothingness as nothing, boundless nothing. I’m thinking of how, when one says: “there’s nothing in there,” that the reference is to there being nothing inside (within) and that is usually synonymous with empty.

Now the Buddhist “Emptiness is Form; Form is Emptiness” arises. And, with this Emptiness-Form-Emptiness I think “because boundlessness is not perceived” – the form, some boundedness, exists to hold the emptiness, as well as fullness . . . without the boundedness there is no form; then there is nothingness.

I just noticed the reflective quality of my cat’s eyes as she sits in my lap and looks up at me. This experience reminded me that reflectiveness is not always empty as well; it’s the surface that’s reflective, in this case, where with water and the glass door-cover, it’s the substance, the material (matter); however, in each example, light is necessary for the reflectiveness. I would not be able to see the reflections without light. Now the question arises: “Does the quality of reflectiveness need light?” I think so.

And, now I’m sensing this “bouncing-ness” that’s a felt-thought having to do with the relationship of light and reflection. There’s a bouncing-back-sense. This piece feels important but I’m not “getting it” yet. It does feel that it has to do with soul, personal consciousness, but I’m not getting the particulars yet.

I just got this image-thought-question: “What if Ayn Sof created Malkhut first?” And then, this scenario flowed out from that question:

The space within (that Ayn Sof created from Itself) had a reflective quality, so that in the presence of light (with the awareness of Itself), One could see a reflection of Itself. This reflection is an image. Assuming Ayn Sof was aware of the Light (since It is Light), It would see Itself, or the image of Itself.

Another thought arises: “We were made in God’s image.” Then, “We are a reflection of the Divine.” Then, “Everything we see is a reflection of the Divine.” Next, this image-thought of Ayn Sof shining a light on parts of Itself. Since Ayn Sof is boundless, I can’t imagine a “mirror” capable of reflecting boundlessness in total (an interesting limited perspective, possibly?). The Kabbalistic perspective, however, is that we could not perceive this totality without shattering. Is the “we” that would shatter our personal consciousness, our very soul? Or, is the “we” that would shatter our identifications created by our Ego-Personality?

Back to the “idea” of Malkhut being the reflective quality and the first sephirah. This looks to me like an upside down tree now. And, now the thought: “Out of nothingness, an awareness arose that included a desire To Know Itself and To Understand Itself.” This statement reminds me of Keter, Chochmah, and Binah. The question arises now: “How far back in time have human beings (wise ones?) been saying: “Know Thyself.”

Let’s look at this upside-down tree now as a process To Know Thyself:

1. Malkhut is the reflective quality; it reflects back as Light shines (awareness shines?) It may also include the quality of transparency. (depending on what?)
2. Yesod is a foundation and is the ground (of Reality? Being? Awareness?). Our perception of the ground upon which we stand, our reality, our Being depends on what? Or, is it Yesod that has the transparent quality? i.e., a glass bottom boat.
3. Netzach/Hod – a process of becoming – is like a seed planted in the ground. Within the seed is the blueprint of whatever the see is to become. And, within the growth and development process, there’s persistence and determination to continue, to survive at first, and then to thrive. There are stages in this process of growth and development. During each stage there are various identifications, i.e., a seedling, a sprout, a young plant, a mature plant. Growth can be affected by any number of conditions: container size, food, light, water. A healthy Hod is awareness of its own nature of becoming; awareness of itself in relation to its foundation; and, it’s movement toward the Light and growth (change).
4. Tiferet is the attainment of a natural balance, harmony with the Truth of the process of becoming with awareness of the present state within this process, which has evolved from previous states/stages.
5. Gevurah/Hesed is the contraction and expansion that is eternal and present within each moment of the process; it’s a Divine inhalation, exhalation, and the pauses in between.

To be continued . . .

2006-08-12T05:36:00.000-07:00

Manifesting from Wholeness: A Kabbalistic Perspective

The beauty of realizing Life's dreams and aspirations comes from truly manifesting in alignment with one's True Nature -- who we truly are, not who we think we are or pretend to be. Within each moment of being present and aware of our True Nature we experience an indescribable aliveness. This aliveness flows throughout our very being and that which is manifested from that place of authenticity (truth, harmony) is preciously real. It's real because it's not an image of something created by the Ego. It's real because both the Relative and Absolute worlds are transcended.

Lately I've been working with quite a number of clients in helping them with their own manifesting projects, mostly dealing with big life-transitions. Some of these clients are somewhat knowledgeable about Kabbalah because of the work we've done together in our Integrated Kabbalistic Healing sessions. These are the clients who are also very interested in understanding how Kabbalistic wisdom and understanding fit into their own manifesting process. As is often the case, we get to their question for me: How do YOU do it!? I always find it interesting how others think that it's easy for me -- easy to manifest what I want in life. Actually, there's quite a paradox here, because it is easy and it's not. I go through my own periods of struggle which (a) other people don't necessarily recognize, and (b) the struggle is really part of the process.

From this point on, I'm going to be using a lot of Kabbalistic language. If you're reading this article and would like to learn more about Kabbalah and manifesting, contact me.

Manifesting from my Tree of Life
One of the reasons that I'm able to manifest so easily, I think, is my determination and perserverence (Netzach). Once I make up my mind that I want to do something, it's like the wheels begin to turn directing my focus and attention on the efforts I need to make in order to bring whatever it is into Reality. My Netzach needs to be in balance with my (Hod), and this is especially true when my efforts are directed toward manifesting something in the world.

There are times when my confidence (Hod) wavers -- it's there and then it's not. When this wavering of confidence is happening, it's because there are a number of things happening within my Tree. Hod is also about identity and what we're identified with. My confidence wavers when, rather than being identified with the part of me that holds the vision of what is possible from the view of my True Nature, I'm identifying with an image of myself that the Ego is creating. The Ego is a master image-maker. I know this about the Ego and yet I forget.

If I'm identifying with an image of myself, then I'm not seated in Reality! These images are not real. These images are manufactured by the Ego as a means of protecting itself. And, if I'm responding to Life experiences as an image of who I am, this affects how I relate to others and how I see others. Image-selves see other image-selves. That's not even a real relationship!

The foundation from where I stand and my connection to everything is supported by Yesod and Yesod informs, feeds (Malkhut --physical reality) and how I see the world (Assiyah) . Here's an important piece, I think. Yesod is also informed by Tiferet (Harmony). For me, that's where the "not my Will but Thine" comes in. Tiferet is also connected to Keter (Will). When every aspect on my Tree is in proper relationship, there is absolutely no difference between my will and God's Will. Truth with a capital "T" comes from a healthy Tiferet, so how could it even be possible for there not to be One-Will (I don't know how I know this, honestly; it just feels right).

When my Gevurah (judgement, boundaries) are too strong and rigid, I'm much too contracted. And, in this state of contraction, I have very little love and kindness (Hesed) for myself. It's obvious, looking back at the times when I've been so constricted/contracted, that I needed Hesed's expansiveness. Isn't that always the way though? We hardly ever recognize when we're in that contracted state -- we're too contracted. My Tiferet won't resolve (reach Harmony) until I do recognize my contractedness and relax, let go with love and kindness (expansion). In that very moment, where Gevurah and Hesed are in relationship with each other, providing the balance that I need, THAT's when the separation between my will and God's dissolves into One-Will. This is not about doing what a parent wants us to do against our will. This is about being mature enough to see that we both want the same thing. What is this same thing? It's not the object alone that we're wanting to manifest! It's the Divinity within the object and knowing there's no separation.

Some people have issues with the word "God" -- I don't. Probably the only issues I have around the word "God" is about others limiting who and what God is. That said, I wonder if a number of issues around manifesting what one wants in Life isn't also about a contracted-belief in God. I see this contracted-belief in God as one of those images created by the Ego. It's just an image and yet the images the Ego creates often hold us back from being in Life, the Real.

I love this Goethe quote: "Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creativity), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless and splendid plans; that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed have come his way.”
(to be continued)

2006-07-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

Big Mind/Big Heart -- View from the Absolute

Because I am, heaven overhangs and earth is upheld.
Because I am, the sun and the moon go round.
The four seasons come in succession, all things are born,
Because I am, that is, because of Mind.
Eisai-zenji in the Kozen-Gokuku-Ron

We've been working mostly within the Relative View dialoging with voices (selves) having to do with the Mind (small mind or ego), the Body, and the Emotions. We began touching the Absolute View by dialoguing with Soul and specifically, with soul qualities. Additionally, we've learned to always end our sessions with the Integrated Human Being, the one who functions in Reality and through inner-realization work continuously unifies all parts of ourselves into the wholeness of whom we truly are.

From the Relative View

All of our inner voices (selves) come from Small Mind (Ego) and have something to say that we, as Integrated Human Beings, need to hear. Note: They're all a part of Big Mind. They just don't know it!

From the Absolute View

Everything is included with no exceptions. As the One, the Absolute, we are infinite and boundless. From this view, we can see there are no limits and everything is absolutely perfect. Everything manifests from this Oneness which is existence itself.

We've come to understand that when we dialogue with voices that come from the Relative, whatever they have to say is truth from their own limited perspective. The dialoguing practice provides space and time for each voice's perspective to be heard and giving each voice the freedom to speak for itself allows it to have a space -- something we've rarely done consciously in the past. Have you noticed the immaturity of these voices? This immaturity is rather narcissistic in that the whole world revolves around it. Interestingly, as each voice is given an opportunity to speak, all the other voices listen and learn. And, because of the open-ended questions we ask that come from a place of curiosity and wonder, the voice we're dialoguing with gets to explore it's own limited perspective. Each voice can actually become more conscious and thereby have less need to be intrusive, demanding, obnoxious, controlling, etc.

The opportunity to dialogue with Big Mind, as well as Big Heart, frees us to let go of all our limited views -- even if just for the moments that we're doing the practice. We actually get to experience what it's like to embrace and include it all. Even the idea of something this big can be scary for the Ego UNTIL it sees (experiences) that it's not annihilated (which is its fear) but instead is actually embraced and included in the wholeness.

Once we've experienced Big Mind and Big Heart, we can return over and over. In fact, you may find that beginning all of your dialogue practice from this point on with Big Mind changes the practice -- probably making it easier.

Lastly, after you've experienced and practiced with Big Mind/Big Heart, you'll be able to relate to the Buddha's allegory excerpted below:

The Head of a large household goes off on a journey and leaves his head servant (Controller) in charge of the house while he's away. This arrangement works fine as long as the Controller remains clear about his servant role. However, the Head stays away too long and the Controller forgets that he's there to serve the Master and begins to act as if he (Ego, small mind) was the Head of the house. When the true Master returns, he may need to set things right by putting the Controller back in his proper role as the Master's servant.

So, after practicing with Big Mind/Big Heart, we'll surely want to dialogue with the True Master.

2006-07-16T08:02:00.000-07:00

Bridging the Gap: Integration of Emotion and Soul Voices

At this point, we may find it helpful to look at the two words: gap and integration. What do these two words mean for you? Maybe a better question is "what comes up for you in this moment around the word integration? gap?

Your first thoughts will probably be the intellectual knowing that comes from "what you know." What you know comes from mental concepts and ideas based on what you've heard others say, what you've read, or maybe what you've experienced. The level where we "know" things comes from our archives of stored information from the past rather than what we're experiencing directly in this moment -- in the present.

Wisdom-questions, Knowledge-Questions
Wisdom-questions take us deeper into ourselves whereas knowledge-questions keep us at the surface level where we "know" things. You can imagine how much our soul might love wisdom-questions. And, conversely, you can imagine how much our ego might love knowledge-questions.

When we ask wisdom-questions, we're asking from a place of wonderment, openness, expansion. From this place/space, we're open to anything that arises. Questions coming from such an open, expanded place leaves plenty of room/space for answers to arise from outside of our archived data bank. It's interesting that wisdom-questions often evoke other wisdom-questions and these other questions seem to drop us into a deeper, more expansive space.

You can see how asking knowledge-questions results in a narrowing focus as our minds search our archives for "the answer" -- the correct answer! The answer to knowledge-questions is stored in a small space, so that's where our mind has to go in order to find the answer.

Gap between Emotion and Soul
In the previous article, I introduced how Emotion and Soul arise from two different worlds or perspectives: Relative and Absolute. Emotions show up because of an "other" -- person, place, or thing and needs an "other" in order to be an emotion. Emotions need cause and effect, because they are the effect of some cause (and vice versa). Emotions come and go. Soul, with all its qualities, is ever-present whether we're conscious of this presence or not; and, soul does not need an "other" for it to be "what it is."

We can perceive this gap (difference, opening, space) between the two, emotion and soul. Working toward understanding the different emotions through dialogue practice helps to bring light into this gap. We begin to understand why particular emotions present themselves -- what triggers them.

If we let ourselves be curious enough to discover what the emotion is telling us that we're needing from an "other," we also find that it's a soul quality the ego is trying to imitate. We're literally reaching outside of ourselves for the soul quality, i.e., love, understanding, strength, that is not only within us but it's part of who we truly are.

Integration
The first step toward integration is the uncovering. We finally understand what the emotion is pointing to. It's like "the finger pointing to the moon;" it's not the moon itself. Once we see this truth, we begin to notice the presence of soul qualities that were actually present all along. We can actually dialogue with any soul quality to find out anything we're curious enough to find out -- including how to integrate It, our very own soul quality, into our lives. We can ask questions like, "how can I be aware of your presence more?" The bottom line here is that the more we're aware of, and directly experience, the ever-presence of our soul and it's qualities, the less we need the pointing devices, the emotions.

The integration process begins with our enlarging the space (ourselves) that embraces and includes both the pointing device (emotion) and that which is pointed to (soul quality). The foundation for this integration process is curiosity to know the truth and the courage to ask the questions that will inevitably lead us there. A vehicle for this integration process is dialoging and reflecting back (verbally aloud or in writing) to ourselves what we've learned. Keeping a notebook helps provide a map of the territory we're exploring.

2006-07-09T19:20:00.000-07:00

Emotion as a Pointing Device toward Conscious Understanding -- Bridging the Relative & Absolute Worlds

Are emotions mental states that arise spontaneously? How are emotions related to feelings? What is the relationship, if any, to love as an emotion, a feeling, and a soul quality?

A general definition of an emotion describes a neural impulse that moves an organism to action. It's considered to be a psycho-physiological state and really does arise spontaneously and involuntarily.

As physical expressions, emotions are related to feelings, perceptions, beliefs associated with objects or others -- even a certain aroma can remind us of someone or an event and "wha-lah" a particular feeling and/or emotion arises instantly. We're all aware of how the physical body responds to emotions, i.e., changes in temperature and breathing; increased heartrate; tightness in throat, chest, or belly. You may very well come up with other ways your own body responds to specific emotions.

From a neurobiological perspective, emotion is a pleasant or unpleasant mental state organized in the limbic system of the mammalian brain. These mammalian elaborations use neurochemicals, e.g., dopamine, noradrenaline, and serotonim, to step-up or step-down the brain's activity level.1 These 'states' are manifestations of any number of various non-verbally expressed feelings from one end of a continuum to the other end.

Looking at emotions energetically, we experience unpleasant (negative) emotions as energy-draining and pleasant (positive) emotions as energy-calming and sometimes as very alive and exhilerating. Emotions move energy -- e-motion (energy in motion) -- WHEN we facilitate rather than hinder the movement. Most of us have an automatic tendency (reaction) to "hold our breath" when we begin to experience a negative emotion. By doing the opposite, by breathing consciously, we facilitate the movement of emotional energy through us.

An emotion is experienced as a response to the nervous system and is a part of the Relative-world; a soul (or essential) quality is an expression of the Absolute-world. An emotion needs an "other" in order to arise. An emotion points toward a part/voice that needs something and is somehow trying to protect the self. An essential, soul quality doesn't point to anything outside of itself; it's complete, whole in and of itself -- it is what it is. There's no garment or anything covering up what It is. There's nothing else determining what It should be. Love is pure, unconditional Love. Strength is calm without needing to be inferior or superior to anything else.

Consider this. The Ego rules in the Relative-world and it trys to imitate Essence. From the perspective of the Relative-world, we are our Ego/Personality and from this perspective our emotions often define who we are, i.e., an angry person, a happy person. From the Absolute-world, we are Essence and our essential qualities define who we are -- our True Nature, i.e., Love, Value, Strength. From an integrated perspective, we're able to see both views; and, we're able to understand compasionately with an open heart what's being pointed to. We're not really an angry person. We're feeling angry and that feeling/emotion is pointing to some part/voice who needs to be heard, who may be feeling unloved, unappreciated, disappointed.

Guideline for Dialogue Practice
Actually, we've already done some dialogue practice with the Voice of Fear, one of the primary emotions experienced by both humans and animals. So, we know that we can find out interesting information by talking with Fear, and other emotions, directly. I'd like to suggest a slightly different variation for dialoguing with emotions. Let's see how it works for you.

As usual, check in with the Overall Voice -- in this case, the Voice of the Overall Emotional Body. Think of this voice as the part of us that houses, or contains, all emotions. This voice is aware of all activity, i.e., agitation from some emotions, coma-like states from other emotions. We check in with this Overall Voice to find out about what's going on so that we can understand more about ourselves, thereby becoming more consciously aware. After checking-in, we can ask if there's a particular emotion we should speak to; or, we can just say, I'm curious about the emotion of ___________ and would like to dialogue with it.

Now, here's where you might want to experiment to see what works best for you. This next piece is the slight variation I was speaking about.

Let's say that you're curious about why you often feel disappointed (in relationships, at work, in Life). Disappointment seems to "be up in your Life right now." You could ask to speak to "the One Who (Always) Feels Disappointment." Remember to make the shift in your seat and then ask the question "who am I speaking to?" And, reply "the One Who (Always) Feels Disappointment." This helps seat you in (embody) the voice with which you're wanting to dialogue.
Ask any number of questions from the place of curiosity and wanting to discover whatever you can about this part/voice. The voice/part gets to say whatever it wants to say; it's speaking from it's perspective only. What the voice/part says may not, probably is not, the truth BUT it's the truth as that voice/part knows it from it's very limited perspective.
The dialogue that originated with Disappointment may lead to another, like "the One Who is Angry" or "the One Who Feels Unloved." Move along and dialogue with each of these as they arise, however, remember to be considerate of the voice/part with which you're speaking as you would with an actual person. You wouldn't just leave them hanging while you go off and talk with someone else who just showed up, would you?

Once you feel like you've gotten to the bottom line, an understanding of some sort, you may want to see if you can find out which Essential, Soul Quality is being imitated? You may be able to find this out by asking the voice/part you've been working with, or you may want to explore dialoguing with the emotion itself. I'd suggest a question like: "What Essential (or Soul) quality are you most like?" How are you the same? How are you different?

Exercise
Using the handout sheet (bubble diagram) where you listed your emotions, pick those that you're curious about, those that you'd like to know more about, to use in your practice sessions. Use the guidelines provided above.

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I encourage you to use the comment area below to share your experience and insights. Feel free to use your initials if you're uncomfortable using your name on this blog.

1 Source: Wikipedia Article on Emotions

2006-07-01T09:12:00.000-07:00

The Soul: Beyond the Boundaries of the Mind

Our soulfulness is an intricate part of our humaness. We would not exist as human beings without our soul. So what is this -- soul? Can we recognize it in some way? Can we feel it? Can we somehow touch it? To say that we know that we have a soul without exploring what it is or what it means seems to be missing something deeper.

Ask any number of people "what is the soul?" and you'll get varied and usually ambiguous answers that come from concepts and beliefs, probably from a particular tradition or religion with which one has affinity. What are the chances that any one of these people can answer the question from direct experience? Can you answer this question from direct experience?

The soul is an organism of consciousness1. The soul is dynamic, constantly changing moving, flowing, unfolding and transforming. We might even see the soul as an archtype for Life. As an organic consciousness, the soul embraces and includes the ego development process and uses life-experiences to evolve -- consciousness with an even greater richness and potential. In a sense, the soul is learning how to live in the physical.

Soul, Presence, & Essence
In all the many years of reading, studying, and research having to do with the soul and it's association with Presence and Essence, my favorite teacher/author on this subject is A. H. Almaas. He describes the medium or field of the soul as the Presence of pure consciousness, the ultimate building block of our psychic life -- Essence or True Nature. He explains that Essence manifests by differentiating into Presence with recognizable qualities, i.e., peace, love, compassion, truth, pleasure, joy, strength, will, clarity, intelligence, spaciousness, etc.2

Qualities as Gateways to the Soul
From a Relative, or Dual perspective, a quality is dependent on both a subject and an object. Relative-love, for example, needs someone to give love and someone or something to receive the love. From an Absolute, or Non-dual perspective, love is love with no other purpose than to be itself. To fully embody the presence of love is to be love through and through absolutely.

What would love be like from a Transcendent perspective -- one that includes both the Relative and Absolute views?

Using the voice dialoguing practice, we can directly experience the soul just as we have previously with the Mind and the Body. We'll always begin the dialogue session by checking in, speaking with, the Overall Voice of the Soul. We can find out from this voice whether there are particular qualities that it feels would be beneficial for us to speak with. We can also let this voice know if there's a particular quality we're interested in speaking with. Remember to go back to the Overall Voice after speaking with a particular quality to check in; and, always end the dialoguing session with the Integrated Human Being. It's extremely important that you, as the Integrated Human Being, take the time to reflect verbally or in writing what you learned from each dialoguing practice.

Exercise
Using the handout sheet where you listed your soul qualities, pick those that you're curious about, that you'd like to know more about, to use in your practice sessions. Remember to start with the Overall Voice of the Soul and then proceed as described above.

Comment Area Below
I encourage you to use the comment area below to share your experience and insights. Feel free to use your initials if you're uncomfortable using your name on this blog.

1 A. H. Almaas, "The Inner Journey Home"
2 ibid.

2006-06-24T07:54:00.000-07:00

Mind-Body Awareness: Integration of Both

In the June 11th article, "Perspectives of the Mind (in the Relative World)," and in the first tele-class, we were able to see a relationship in how the Ego with its various parts/voices within the Mind was created as a means to protect us, the self -- at first at a very early age and then continuing the 'protective mission' as we grew up and became adults.

We began our lives as Essence; and then, as part of the ego-development process, we became more and more associated with the various artifact-like identifications that the Ego creates in order to exist. Since an artifact is an object, a piece of something, we can look at it from a Kabbalistic perspective and see that an artifact is a yesh-mi-yesh, something from something, and is associated with the psychological and symbolic universe, Yetzirah.

Now Essence is not an 'object' that we find within ourselves; it is the true nature of who we are -- it is the truth of our very presence, the purity of our consciousness and awareness. It is the ultimate core reality of our soul. Essence has been given many names by different spiritual traditions: Christianity, Judaism, and Islam called it Spirit; Buddhism calls it Buddha nature; Taoism calls it the Tao; Hinduism calls it Atman or Brahman. 1

In a sense, we might say that the Ego tries to imitate Essence, the essential qualities of Essence. The Ego only understands how to objectify. To the Ego everything is an object, an image, a copy of something -- 'something from something.'

Anne Foerst, a theologian who became known for her work with humanoid robots at MIT's Computer Science and Artifical Intelligence Laboratory, calls a human being homo narrandus -- the story-making animal. You see, the robots at the AI lab that best mimic human behaviors do not rely on a single big computer to solve a big problem like walking. Instead, the robot builders distribute small computers, like brains, throughout the robot, and the net effect of all those little brains working on small, separate problems is a robot that walks much like we do. We humans evolved in much the same way as the little-brained robots. Our three trillion cells have separate as well as integrated lives. We even have real brains spread throughout our bodies . . . every part of us is talking to us all the time -- even if we generally aren't conscious of the conversation.2

We often define ourselves by our personal stories which we can find deep in our flesh and bones as well as our psyche. It's not just in our heads (or Mind), the very cells in our bodies hold our personal stories as well. I find it interesting to see each part/voice as a character in our own story. In fact, the more parts/voices we're able to see, able to become aware of, the more we're able to see the complete picture from various different perspectives.

In the Kabbalistic Creation Story, the last seven vessels (sephirot) that emanated from Source, the Ayn Sof, broke -- shattering into pieces or shards. As these pieces fell, they captured sparks of Divine Light, forming shells, or husks, with a Divine inner core. It is a Kabbalistic belief that it is human-kind's responsibility to gather these sparks and free them from the shells thereby raising the sparks to rejoin the Infinite -- a Unification.

I can't help but compare these shells that cover up the Divine sparks with the Ego imitations that cover up pieces of Essence. My own experience in discovering and dialoguing with various parts/voices, both Mind and Body, is that I'm uncovering and getting closer to the bigger picture, Truth, Essence and thereby returning the sparks to their original source.

Exercise
After experiencing the parts/voices within the Mind and the Body, we need to ask ourselves questions like the following (feel free to add others). Your answers are specific to you and your own experience. All answers are acceptable; there are no right or wrong answers. Answering these questions from the perspective of the "Integrated Human Being" is helpful in synthesizing and integrating the work we've been doing together.

How does the Mind affect the Body? Specifically, which parts/voices do you recognize affecting your Body? Explain how.
How does the Body affect the Mind? Specifically, which body parts, functions, systems do you recognize as affecting your Mind? Explain how.
Which voices within the Mind help and/or hinder the Body -- it's functions, health, size, shape (anything else?)?
Which parts/systems within the Body help or hinder the Mind?

Comment Area Below
I encourage you to use the comment area below to share your experience and insights. Feel free to use your initials if you're uncomfortable using your name on this blog.

1 "Spacecruiser Inquiry" by A. H. Almaas.
2 "The Power of a Good Story," by Stephen Kiesling in Spirituality & Health magazine, November/December 2005, Volume 8, Number 6.

2006-06-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

Body Wisdom -- Listening to Your Body

It seems that only recently, over the last 25 years or so, that we've moved from a mechanistic view of the physical body to a more holistic view. By mechanistic, I'm referring to the way people referred to the body as a machine, an object -- an inanimate object at that! Maybe I'm relating more to my own shift in perspective, but still I've noticed more and more publications, media, etc. that seem to be concerned with paying attention to the body. Remember the saying: "No pain, no gain"? In fact, I read an article the other day where an athelete was talking about how he learned the hard way to listen to his body. He talked about injuries that his body sustained because he did not listen and that today he's much more in tune with his body.

Most of us take our own physical body for granted as long as it's working as we think it should. And, when something isn't working right, we often ignore it until it's manifested as a discomfort, pain, or disease that we can no longer ignore.

It's my personal experience that, although allopathic (Western) medicine has come a long way, most (not all) doctors still "pooh-pooh" the holistic approach that includes finding the root cause for whatever the patient is presenting. So, oftentimes it's up to us to work at our own discovery of the root cause of what's happening in our body. I do find it refreshing to meet doctors who are open to complementary processes and modalities rather than merely writing prescriptions to make the symptom go away. My own General Practitioner is one of these -- a real gem who's open to listening to other options even when they're unconventional.

Why is it that we don't think of, and appreciate, all the various functions and systems that keep the body alive and working? What would it be like to actually be taught this kind of awareness (preferably at a young age)? Why didn't we know that every cell within our body has an infinite intelligence beyond our understanding and that all we need to do is pay attention and listen?! Isn't it all a mystery that all this and more exists (and works!) without our conscious control?

The Body Dialogue Process
Within each of us there is a reservoir of information. The Body Dialogue Process taps into this reserve and creates the opportunity for conscious communication with the overall voice of the body and the many selves/parts which support the body's miraculous functioning. The body and it's many selves, like any other part touched through the Voice Dialogue process, wants to be heard and acknowledged for the significant role it serves in the overall well being of the person. What's possible for us once we are in a conscious relationship with our body is to: eat when we are hungry; sleep when we are tired; and do exercise or movement because our body wants and needs it. 1

Body Scan
Take at least five minutes each morning as you awaken to do a slow body scan where you're consciously scanning each area and part of your body to see what you feel. Note if there's heaviness, numbness, tingling, warmth, coldness, discomfort or pain, etc. Just notice whatever you notice without trying to fix it or change it. Become aware of your body with your own consciousness.

Overall Body Voice
Just as the Protector/Controller is seen as the overall voice of the Mind and its many selves, there is an Overall Body Voice. We need to check-in with this Overall Body Voice periodically to find out how it's doing, if there are any concerns, and if there is any particular part with which we need to dialogue. In fact, after doing a body scan we can ask the Overall Body Voice about anything particular that we noticed during the scan. Lastly, we can ask the Overall Body Voice if there's any particular part of the body with which we should dialogue. Always end your Body Dialogue sessions with the Integrated Human Being where you can reflect back, verbally or in writing, what you learned from the dialogue.

Exercises
There are two different exercises below that you can either do together or separately. The first one can be done in only 5 minutes (or longer, if you prefer). The second one will take longer.
(1) Practice the 5 minute body scan each morning before you get out of bed and/or each evening as you're going to bed/sleep.
(2) Practice dialoguing with the Overall Body Voice and on to any voice/part the Overall Body Voice suggests you work with.

Comment Area Below
I encourage you to use the comment area below to share your experience and insights. Feel free to use your initials if you're uncomfortable using your name on this blog.

1 Article: "Learning the Language of the Body," Judith Tamar Stone. She created the Body Dialogue Process after being diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in her late twenties. Through her unwillingness to give up her body to a lifelong sentence of medications and pain, she began to apply the theories of Voice Dialogue and the Psychology of Selves through the voices of the body. Over the course of the past 18 years she has inspired and empowered others to learn the unique language of their own body.

2006-06-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

Perspectives of the Mind (in the Relative World)

Let's begin by meeting ourselves where we are, or at least where we find ourselves most of the time -- the Mind in the Relative world.

With depth psychology, we learn that the development of the Ego is an integral process of every human being. It's interesting that in trying to understand this process we find that the Ego is an image-maker. The Ego creates images of anything and everything having to do with life experiences as a means to define itself and the world. From the time we are infants, the Ego begins to emerge showing us, distinguishing for us, that there's a self and an other -- an image of the self and an image of the other. These images form and change throughout our lives.

At this point, we can ask ourselves the following questions:

What images do I have about myself? About who I am, my aspirations, my limitations? How do these images about myself affect my relationships with others? With myself? Are these mere images and, therefore, not real? What is the truth?

Within the Voice Dialogue system, or process, we learn that the Ego creates various different selves (termed "voices") as a means of protection -- to protect the self which, of course, protects the Ego. Each of these selves has a specific function with the underlying mission -- to protect. The voice that's "in charge" of all the other voices is called the Protector, or Controller. Other voices include: the Fixer, the Critic, the Judge, the Pleaser, the Rebel, the Seeker, the Victim, the Vulnerable Child. There are many, many voices. Basically, remember this: 'if you can name it, it's a voice'.

Some basic guidelines to use in the dialoguing process are as follows:

never have an agenda other than curiosity to understand, to see what you can learn
always ask permission to speak to a specific voice
shift your body to initiate the shift in consciousness
use the pronoun "I" when speaking from the perspective of 'the voice' and the pronoun s/he (or "the self" or your name) when 'the voice' is giving information about you
always ask the voice this question: "how do you help the self?"
identify and speak with the opposite voice
complete the process by reflecting on what you've learned and how you might integrate it

For every voice we recognize within ourselves, there's an opposite voice, one we may or may not recognize. Most often the unrecognized voices, the one's we find hard to imagine or get in touch with, are our disowned voices. I call these my orphans. Another rule of thumb is that when we dialogue with a voice, we need to dialogue with the opposite. After we've dialogued with both, we need to stand back and reflect, either verbally or in writing, what we learned from these two opposites.

Speaking from the perspective of any of these voices can be extraordinary as we're introduced to knowledge about ourselves we did not know or fully understand previously. If, or when, we find that we're not learning anything new, or not receiving a better understanding about ourselves, then there may very well be something (a voice) blocking, resisting the process. A good voice to speak to in this case is Fear. Ask questions like: "As fear, what are you afraid of (having to do with the voice we were just speaking to)?" Even with the voice of Fear, you need to ask the question: "how are you helping the self?" Once you dialogue with Fear in this way, you should be able to go back to the voice with which you were working.

Exercise
We're now ready to do the following exercise. It can be done alone; however, it's particularly helpful, especially when first learning this work, to both facilitate others and be facilitated by others.

Identify a self/voice that you feel you are particularly identified with. Use all the basic guidelines above to dialogue with this part of you. When you've finished with that voice, identify and dialogue with the opposite. After speaking with this opposite voice, step back and reflect, either verbally or in writing, what you've learned from each voice. Lastly, talk, or write about, how you can integrate both voices in your life now.

Repeating this exercise with more than one voice will help you understand more about yourself AND will help you in learning how to shift your consciousness more easily from one voice-perspective to another.

Comment Area Below
I encourage you to use the comment area below to share your experience and insights. Feel free to use your initials if you're uncomfortable using your name on this blog.

2006-06-07T17:50:00.000-07:00

Soul Expressions: Giving Voice to Aspects of the Soul/Self

The Evolution
This work has evolved over a number of years beginning with my personal work with Integrated Kabbalistic Healing* where in my own healing sessions I realized there were parts of myself that I denied. I denied their very existence either because I did not like those parts and thought they were 'bad' or, in some cases, did not know they really existed within me. It became evident to me that I could basically sit down with these parts, one at a time, and ask them questions to find out more about them as if they were someone else -- as if I was meeting someone new for the first time and wanted to find out more about them. I found this method extremely helpful in finding out more about my Self with curiosity rather than judgement.

Out of the realizations that accompanied my using this method to discover more about mySelf, I began forming small groups of individuals who were interested in discovering more about themselves too. The group meetings became known as A Soul Connection Groupwork. I taught this "talking to parts" method to the groups. They (we) were often astounded at the information discovered as a result of opening ourselves to the possibility of "talking with" these parts. They (we) were literally making space (making room) for more of ourselves. The evolution of this work continued beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

Last year, I was introduced to the Big Mind* process where I was able to see a further expansion -- from talking with the "voices" of the parts of ourselves to an actual shift of consciousness to a place of unity, of Oneness, where there's no longer a subject/object split. I found that in using the Big Mind process, we can make a shift from a rigid, egoic perspective to a more expanded perspective that embraces and includes more of who we really are. This process opens us to realizing and recognizing ourselves beyond the Relative view where we're used to living day-to-day. We get to see ourselves from within the Absolute and the Transcendent views as well as the Relative. We all have the capacity to embrace and include it all and with this capacity comes a profound compassion and respect for ourselves, others, and humanity as a whole.

As I understand it, the Big Mind process grew out of a seed -- Voice Dialogue and the Psychology of Selves* where Voice Dialogue works with the psychological aspects of the individual that develop as a result of the ego development process. In studying Voice Dialogue's methods, I could see where this work heals a subject/object split that's created as we mature from childhood to adulthood. Voice Dialogue teaches us how these parts/voices are created by our own ego as a part of a process to keep us safe when we were vulnerable as children and continues to do its 'safe-keeping' function even after we grow up.

Along this journey from my discovery of Big Mind to Voice Dialogue, I kept asking the question: "What about the body?" I kept thinking that the body and all it's functions and systems must also have a voice or voices to which we can dialogue. My question was answered relatively quickly when I found Body Dialogue*. Body Dialogue came from the same seed, Voice Dialogue, and is a profound way of getting more in touch with our physical body. If there was any doubt left within me, it was dispelled once I experienced Body Dialogue.

From a Kabbalistic perspective, there are different levels of the Soul and these levels come from specific Kabbalistically-viewed worlds/universes. As we become aware of these soul-levels, we can see how one embraces and includes the other. In Soul Expressions . . . we learn how to speak from each soul-level and we learn how to integrate each level along the way so that we arrive at a fully integrated destination.

*Notes:
Integrated Kabbalistic Healing was developed by Jason Shulman, internationally known spiritual teacher and modern kabbalist, and the founder of A Society of Souls.

Big Mind was developed by Zen Master Dennis Genpo Merzel, founder of the international Sangha named Kanzeon from the Boddhissatva of Compassion.

Voice Dialogue and the Psychology of Selves was developed by Drs. Hal and Sidra Stone, providing a psychospiritual approach to consciousness and transformation that include awareness-work with the many selves or subpersonalities that make up the psyche.

Body Dialogue, developed by Judith Tamar Stone, expands and deepens the Voice Dialogue process to a profound mind/body communication level.

2006-03-27T20:13:00.000-08:00

Kabbalistic Metaphors, Life, and Healing

We often use metaphors to define ourselves, others, our relationships, and even life itself. Then, we go about our lives acting as if these metaphors are the only truth leaving no room for other views and perspectives.

Shakespeare's line: "All the world's a stage . . ." is a good example of metaphor where he compared the whole world to a theater stage. There are any number of metaphors, for example:

"Everything in life is about competition -- there are winners or losers."
You have to work hard all your life just to make ends meet.
Money: You get what you pay for. (and) Equal pay for equal work.
Life is a school where we have lessons and tests.
Forrest Gump: Life is like a box of chocolates . . .

What are some of your personal metaphors? How do your personal metaphors restrict you? How do they liberate you?

Sometimes we have personal metaphors that we think are liberating but end up being restrictive. Here's a personal story to show how:

When I was young and on a relatively low rung on my career ladder, I was completing a questionnaire where one of the questions had to do with what my long-term potential goals were. I was working in a civil service job at an Air Force Base. I knew what the top grade for civilians was at that base. So being young and feeling like I should "reach for the stars," I answered the question by answering that my goal was to reach the grade GS-14. Feeling very proud of myself for being so bold, I handed my supervisor the questionnaire with my answers and waited for him to read what I'd written. I was dumbfounded when he asked me why I had restricted myself to only a GS-14. When I recovered to where I could speak, I told him that I'd put down the highest grade there was. He smiled and told me that there were much higher grades and that a Gs-14 just happened to be the highest grade at that base.

You see, my personal metaphor at that time, "to reach for the stars," looked like it was very expansive and liberating EXCEPT that my perspective was very limited.

Kabbalistic descriptions of creation, reality, and life often use metaphor. It's interesting and helpful to look at teachings from the Kabbalah to see how the metaphors relate to us and our own metaphors.

Tzimtzum
In the Kabbalistic creation story, there was nothing except Ayn Sof -- Nothing(ness) until Ayn Sof pulled back and created a vacant space within Itself for Other -- for creation to take place.

How do we pull back and make room within ourselves for others? Making room for others doesn't have to be only other people. Maybe we need to make room within ourselves for parts of ourselves that we've denied, parts that we don't like, or even parts that we never knew existed because of our limited view of ourselves. Making room is about making space within ourselves for "what is." How good are we at making space for others to be who they are -- to be where they are?

(to be continued)