WEEK 2 GEVURAH
Day 12, Hod within Gevurah
Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)
Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)
I'm very interested to see how my day unfolds within this gate of consciousness. So far, my morning has consisted of working together with a colleague inquiring into a space where I felt both touched and wary (actually, it was fear). Seeing the paradox of truly experiencing both of these states together was interesting and also allowed a deepening of understanding myself. Once I surrendered to the process to let it unfold and be whatever it is, to allow myself to experience Reality exactly as it is, I began to understand the fear. It's quite a different experience to see oneself as an object of splendor and being (all encompassing) splendor itself. It's frightening to think of losing myself, or the object that's who I think I am -- even if the loss brings me to experiencing myself as True Nature -- as a multitude of essential qualities. It's all quite mysterious and scary. And, that's exactly what I'm here to do.
Note: The spiritual state identified in Chassidut as corresponding to hod is sincerity.
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
WEEK 2 GEVURAH
Day 11, Netzach within Gevurah
Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, determination, perserverence)
Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)
Entering this gate with trepidation because of my preconceived ideas of what it "could be like" with all of these strong, intense qualities in one space together. It is only by remembering that these spheres, these states of consciousness have a healthy state too that I now notice my own inner strength and perseverance to stay present and to see what arises.
I noticed that there are a couple of terms used to describe aspects of Netzach that I do not like -- conquering and dominance. I realize that the part of me that doesn't like these terms is a part/self that does not like dominance over another or conquering another. When I think of these two things my chest/heart gets tight. I breathe into the tightness and let it be there without trying to change it. After a short time, my chest/heart loosens and eventually gets soft and open.
From a different perspective, there are examples of conquering and dominance that are positive for me. For example, some years ago I was able to conquer my smoking addiction. And, as I'm more open to see more about dominance, I see that dominance can be something that is used in art to make a statement. In music, there's a dominant rhythm, or beat. There's a dominant character in a story (book, play, movie).
I wonder . . . what is it that's dominating my life right now? This sounds like an interesting inquiry. I can see right now that different things dominated my life at different times in the past. Yes, this is a good topic for inquiry and journaling.
Note: The spiritual state identified in Chassidut as corresponding to netzach is confidence.
Day 11, Netzach within Gevurah
Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, determination, perserverence)
Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)
Entering this gate with trepidation because of my preconceived ideas of what it "could be like" with all of these strong, intense qualities in one space together. It is only by remembering that these spheres, these states of consciousness have a healthy state too that I now notice my own inner strength and perseverance to stay present and to see what arises.
I noticed that there are a couple of terms used to describe aspects of Netzach that I do not like -- conquering and dominance. I realize that the part of me that doesn't like these terms is a part/self that does not like dominance over another or conquering another. When I think of these two things my chest/heart gets tight. I breathe into the tightness and let it be there without trying to change it. After a short time, my chest/heart loosens and eventually gets soft and open.
From a different perspective, there are examples of conquering and dominance that are positive for me. For example, some years ago I was able to conquer my smoking addiction. And, as I'm more open to see more about dominance, I see that dominance can be something that is used in art to make a statement. In music, there's a dominant rhythm, or beat. There's a dominant character in a story (book, play, movie).
I wonder . . . what is it that's dominating my life right now? This sounds like an interesting inquiry. I can see right now that different things dominated my life at different times in the past. Yes, this is a good topic for inquiry and journaling.
Note: The spiritual state identified in Chassidut as corresponding to netzach is confidence.
Monday, May 30, 2011
WEEK 2 GEVURAH
Day 10, Tiferet within Gevurah
Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)
Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)
I did not recognize the aspects of Tiferet directly while I was in the midst of the experience and events. I did recognize it after the fact. It was the beauty and the mercy that I'd missed in the moment yet saw later.
I was very clear about the balance of Gevurah & Hesed within my day -- that balance, that harmonization revealed itself in a number of interactions with old friends and family members. I was able to maintain being that harmony and at times even experience directly the compassion arising.
Day 10, Tiferet within Gevurah
Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)
Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)
I did not recognize the aspects of Tiferet directly while I was in the midst of the experience and events. I did recognize it after the fact. It was the beauty and the mercy that I'd missed in the moment yet saw later.
I was very clear about the balance of Gevurah & Hesed within my day -- that balance, that harmonization revealed itself in a number of interactions with old friends and family members. I was able to maintain being that harmony and at times even experience directly the compassion arising.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
WEEK 2 GEVURAH
Day 9, Gevurah within Gevurah
Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)
This gate surprised me; I thought it would be uncomfortable experiencing Gevurah within Gevurah. My "idea" of it was limiting -- almost smothering in that it left no room (at first) for me to experience the gate directly and in the moment. Once I recognized that it was my "idea" that was limiting me, I let myself go through the day being open to see how it would unfold. [note: I think it's important for me to write an acknowledgement here that "ideas" do limit us, limit our experience of "what is." That doesn't mean we shouldn't have ideas. It just means we can be more awake when we see our ideas arise.]
A good chunk of my day was focused on the Labyrinth field trip for my meditation class -- meeting as a group within a set time and place (Gevurah); getting there (using both a Google map and my navigation system are both Gevuric in nature); walking the labyrinth itself (I'll write more on this piece); and then getting back home. I'll mention briefly that one of the ladies discovered she had a flat tire when we returned to the parking lot where we'd left her car. Changing her tire involved a step-by-step process as well as reading the car manual.
The labyrinth itself is a pattern within a pattern. It's a defined area that contains a pattern of a winding path. The "rule" is basically to "stay on the path." While walking the path, keeping within the boundaries, thoughts and emotions come and go. (note: it was surprising to see the freedom with which these thoughts and emotions would come and go -- within the gate of Gevurah within Gevurah.)
A realization at the end of the day -- my experience of this gate is never constant, it changes as I change . . . as the wind blows and moves the branches of the tree.
Day 9, Gevurah within Gevurah
Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)
This gate surprised me; I thought it would be uncomfortable experiencing Gevurah within Gevurah. My "idea" of it was limiting -- almost smothering in that it left no room (at first) for me to experience the gate directly and in the moment. Once I recognized that it was my "idea" that was limiting me, I let myself go through the day being open to see how it would unfold. [note: I think it's important for me to write an acknowledgement here that "ideas" do limit us, limit our experience of "what is." That doesn't mean we shouldn't have ideas. It just means we can be more awake when we see our ideas arise.]
A good chunk of my day was focused on the Labyrinth field trip for my meditation class -- meeting as a group within a set time and place (Gevurah); getting there (using both a Google map and my navigation system are both Gevuric in nature); walking the labyrinth itself (I'll write more on this piece); and then getting back home. I'll mention briefly that one of the ladies discovered she had a flat tire when we returned to the parking lot where we'd left her car. Changing her tire involved a step-by-step process as well as reading the car manual.
The labyrinth itself is a pattern within a pattern. It's a defined area that contains a pattern of a winding path. The "rule" is basically to "stay on the path." While walking the path, keeping within the boundaries, thoughts and emotions come and go. (note: it was surprising to see the freedom with which these thoughts and emotions would come and go -- within the gate of Gevurah within Gevurah.)
A realization at the end of the day -- my experience of this gate is never constant, it changes as I change . . . as the wind blows and moves the branches of the tree.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
WEEK 2 GEVURAH
Day 8, Hesed within Gevurah
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)
First, dropping into Gevurah-consciousness feels good to me in that I can experience my essential strength -- that which is intrinsic to myself, to who I am. As I let myself sit here and sense into the other aspects of Gevurah, I can see how it's easy to become rigid. I wonder if this is the domain of the SuperEgo -- a nega-Gevurah (distorted, unbalanced). Here too are standards and rules which are necessary in life but can also become fixed and limiting.
Yes, and that's where Hesed comes in . . . Gevurah's partner from across the way. As I let in some Hesed into this Gevurah-consciousness, I feel like I can have strong boundaries that have some give to them -- a little flexibility where needed. I get a sense of how I can say "no" with kindness and love.
Day 8, Hesed within Gevurah
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)
First, dropping into Gevurah-consciousness feels good to me in that I can experience my essential strength -- that which is intrinsic to myself, to who I am. As I let myself sit here and sense into the other aspects of Gevurah, I can see how it's easy to become rigid. I wonder if this is the domain of the SuperEgo -- a nega-Gevurah (distorted, unbalanced). Here too are standards and rules which are necessary in life but can also become fixed and limiting.
Yes, and that's where Hesed comes in . . . Gevurah's partner from across the way. As I let in some Hesed into this Gevurah-consciousness, I feel like I can have strong boundaries that have some give to them -- a little flexibility where needed. I get a sense of how I can say "no" with kindness and love.
Friday, May 27, 2011
WEEK 1 HESED
Day 7, Malkhut within Hesed
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.
Entering into the 7th gate, I noticed a little fear . . . I stopped (Just barely within) to see if I could tell what was happening. Yes, I sensed a guarded, protectiveness. It was as if I was entering a dark cave and didn't know what to expect but yet imagined the worst. I also noticed a part of me wanted "to run." Of course, another part did not want to miss this gate -- that's the part that doesn't want to miss out on anything.
So, I did what my practice teaches me to do -- breathe, pay attention to the breath through my belly, and notice what's happening. A few minutes of breathing is all it took for me to become very present with myself. The moment I felt present with myself I felt I had more space to be exactly where I was -- truly within Malkhut. And, from where I was standing in that moment I could see many, many reflections of myself being reflected back to me from everyone I'd been in contact with this whole week . .. and then over the past month . . . and then over the past year . . . and then over my whole life. The qualities reflected were inclusive -- good and not so good, some I hide even from myself.
Somewhere in my archived information/memory I remember reading that the spiritual state often identified with Malkhut is "humility." I sat with that for a moment and decided to see what I could find on humility on the web. Here's an excerpt from a blog I liked where a woman wrote about humility (more so, what it is not):
Day 7, Malkhut within Hesed
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
Malkhut (kingdom, the reflection of everything) Malkhut represents the power that ultimately unifies all the diverse powers of the Sefirot and holds everything together. Without Malkhut, creation would remain incomplete.
Entering into the 7th gate, I noticed a little fear . . . I stopped (Just barely within) to see if I could tell what was happening. Yes, I sensed a guarded, protectiveness. It was as if I was entering a dark cave and didn't know what to expect but yet imagined the worst. I also noticed a part of me wanted "to run." Of course, another part did not want to miss this gate -- that's the part that doesn't want to miss out on anything.
So, I did what my practice teaches me to do -- breathe, pay attention to the breath through my belly, and notice what's happening. A few minutes of breathing is all it took for me to become very present with myself. The moment I felt present with myself I felt I had more space to be exactly where I was -- truly within Malkhut. And, from where I was standing in that moment I could see many, many reflections of myself being reflected back to me from everyone I'd been in contact with this whole week . .. and then over the past month . . . and then over the past year . . . and then over my whole life. The qualities reflected were inclusive -- good and not so good, some I hide even from myself.
Somewhere in my archived information/memory I remember reading that the spiritual state often identified with Malkhut is "humility." I sat with that for a moment and decided to see what I could find on humility on the web. Here's an excerpt from a blog I liked where a woman wrote about humility (more so, what it is not):
. . . what humility is not is a good place to start. Humility is the absence of many things that we can do without.Humility is not about deprivation. Humility is about more, not less. A humble heart gives more, has more room, sees more good, and is more generous.Humility doesn’t make itself less. It doesn’t think of itself at all. So less cannot happen.Humility does not bring itself down. It raises others up higher yet. A humble heart can hold up a chin. For a heart to do less would be to devalue everyone. Humility is about giving value, not taking it away.Humility is not false. It doesn’t pretend to something it’s not. It doesn’t deny the truth about what is good. A star needs to shine fully bright to remain a star. A humble star knows that shining is what it does well and is generous with its light. Falsehoods in any form, are not humility. They are a denial of the truth, that’s something else.Humility is without guile. It needs no plot, no plan. It has no needs at all.Humility is not about me. It doesn’t make me bigger or smaller. It’s about everyone else.We don’t know when we have it, because when we look at ourselves it is gone.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
WEEK 1 HESED
Day 6, Yesod within Hesed
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
Yesod (foundation, connection)
Dropping into Hesed-consciousness today, I feel such expansiveness, plenty of space, uncluttered. Within this state of being, this experience, I touch and move into Yesod. What is Yesod within Hesed like for me today? What's it like to sense my foundation -- where I stand? How is connection revealed to me today? Connection to others? to the Universe? to myself? In what forms does connection unfold for me to experience? Communication? Presence? Aliveness?
Today I found myself connecting with people in other countries (no geographical boundaries), experiencing their presence close to me, as if we were in the same room. With each person, the communication felt so open and easy-flowing. Also, a young woman from a local spiritual organization (one that I'd not heard of before) contacted me and asked me to present a talk to their group. We enjoyed our connection -- communicating with her was easy, energetic, and free. So, I'll be presenting a talk on using therapeutic essential oils on July 12th. This is a topic that I dearly love to share with others. I feel like I have a good foundational knowledge and plenty of experience to share with others.
Day 6, Yesod within Hesed
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
Yesod (foundation, connection)
Dropping into Hesed-consciousness today, I feel such expansiveness, plenty of space, uncluttered. Within this state of being, this experience, I touch and move into Yesod. What is Yesod within Hesed like for me today? What's it like to sense my foundation -- where I stand? How is connection revealed to me today? Connection to others? to the Universe? to myself? In what forms does connection unfold for me to experience? Communication? Presence? Aliveness?
Today I found myself connecting with people in other countries (no geographical boundaries), experiencing their presence close to me, as if we were in the same room. With each person, the communication felt so open and easy-flowing. Also, a young woman from a local spiritual organization (one that I'd not heard of before) contacted me and asked me to present a talk to their group. We enjoyed our connection -- communicating with her was easy, energetic, and free. So, I'll be presenting a talk on using therapeutic essential oils on July 12th. This is a topic that I dearly love to share with others. I feel like I have a good foundational knowledge and plenty of experience to share with others.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
WEEK 1 HESED
Day 5, Hod within Hesed
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)
During the four years I was in the Kabbalistic Healing school (A Society of Souls), I learned to embody each of these qualities. I had a particular affinity toward the qualities, or aspects, associated with Hod. AND, I had a LOT to learn about Hod even after I graduated from the school.
One of the aspects associated with Hod (not mentioned above) has to do with a sense of self. Gradually over the years my understanding deepened as I continued to recognize each of the manifold selves within my Self. I understand better now how each of the selves came about as a means to guard & protect me. And, the discoveries continue as I uncover who I truly am.
What's important for me today, as I enter into this fifth gate, is to truly experience lovingkindness for each of these selves within my psyche who, in their way, are trying to protect me from the world. I can feel thankfulness, grateful, for how each of them served me when I was young.
That said, it seems that the more "together" I can be with all of me moving through the world as ONE then the more wholly and completely I'll experience LIFE. The question that arises now is How do I surrender to the greater wholeness of myself? This question reverberates throughout every level of my being . . . including all my selves, even the ones I have not remembered.
Day 5, Hod within Hesed
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)
During the four years I was in the Kabbalistic Healing school (A Society of Souls), I learned to embody each of these qualities. I had a particular affinity toward the qualities, or aspects, associated with Hod. AND, I had a LOT to learn about Hod even after I graduated from the school.
One of the aspects associated with Hod (not mentioned above) has to do with a sense of self. Gradually over the years my understanding deepened as I continued to recognize each of the manifold selves within my Self. I understand better now how each of the selves came about as a means to guard & protect me. And, the discoveries continue as I uncover who I truly am.
What's important for me today, as I enter into this fifth gate, is to truly experience lovingkindness for each of these selves within my psyche who, in their way, are trying to protect me from the world. I can feel thankfulness, grateful, for how each of them served me when I was young.
That said, it seems that the more "together" I can be with all of me moving through the world as ONE then the more wholly and completely I'll experience LIFE. The question that arises now is How do I surrender to the greater wholeness of myself? This question reverberates throughout every level of my being . . . including all my selves, even the ones I have not remembered.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
WEEK 1 HESED
Day 4, Netzach within Hesed
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, majesty, determination, perseverance)
I wonder . . . what's a victory without winning or losing? Where do I recognize my own determination? And, where do I see it in others? How am I steadfast and focused yet not closed?
All during the day I let these questions be in my field as "not knowing." Sometimes when I ask open questions like these I find the answers just are not accessible [at that time]. And, at times like that my mind wants to figure it out instead of just letting the realization arise on its own.
Throughout the day an image of someone I know kept coming into my mind-screen -- he's a mountain-climber [among other things, of course]. Then, in the midst of his image showing up, I wondered if he feels victorious when he reaches a mountain's summit. I would think so [I need to remember to ask him]. And, in that victory, is he the winner? Who's the loser? I don't know.
Now, actually, I can see how when I figure something out [like on the computer] I do feel victorious. Maybe the part of me that doubted that I'd figure it out was the loser? Ha! Here I also recognize my determination even when there's a part of me that doubts myself. Here I see clearly how my being steadfast and focused does not close me to guidance, because oftentimes the "way" is clearly revealed like out-of-the-blue.
Day 4, Netzach within Hesed
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
Netzach (victory, conquering, eternity, security, dominance -- also, majesty, determination, perseverance)
I wonder . . . what's a victory without winning or losing? Where do I recognize my own determination? And, where do I see it in others? How am I steadfast and focused yet not closed?
All during the day I let these questions be in my field as "not knowing." Sometimes when I ask open questions like these I find the answers just are not accessible [at that time]. And, at times like that my mind wants to figure it out instead of just letting the realization arise on its own.
Throughout the day an image of someone I know kept coming into my mind-screen -- he's a mountain-climber [among other things, of course]. Then, in the midst of his image showing up, I wondered if he feels victorious when he reaches a mountain's summit. I would think so [I need to remember to ask him]. And, in that victory, is he the winner? Who's the loser? I don't know.
Now, actually, I can see how when I figure something out [like on the computer] I do feel victorious. Maybe the part of me that doubted that I'd figure it out was the loser? Ha! Here I also recognize my determination even when there's a part of me that doubts myself. Here I see clearly how my being steadfast and focused does not close me to guidance, because oftentimes the "way" is clearly revealed like out-of-the-blue.
Monday, May 23, 2011
WEEK 1 HESED
Day 3, Tiferet within Hesed
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)
How am I open to experiencing giving unconditionally? And even unconditional lovingkindness? Let's see when I recognize lovingkindness, or a giving, that has no strings attached. I'd love to directly experience beauty as a harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed without having "to think" what it would be like -- just to experience it. And, how is compassion a harmony between Gevurah & Hesed?
My day was full yet not overwhelming. I had plenty of space between appointments. In fact, after my 2nd appointment, I let myself feel how tired I was -- acknowledged it instead of ignoring it. Here again I see old ideas & beliefs showing themselves -- on of which is that tiredness is a form of weakness. Today I was not only present with it but also decided to take a nap. Was this decision from a place of compassion? mercy? Maybe so. I'm learning more & more how essential qualities, such as, compassion, love, etc. are always present, available, & do arise as needed. I've also learned that we're often not aware of the qualities of presence.
Here are two quotes that I found applicable for me relating to this third gate of consciousness:
Beauty is a reflection of truth, and truth is ultimately true nature. And the dimension of true nature that reveals this essential beauty is that of divine love. (Inner Journey Home, p 287)
Compassion is a kind of healing agent which helps us to tolerate the hurt of seeing the truth. The function of compassion in the Work is not to reduce hurt; its function is to lead to the truth. Much of the time, the truth is painful or scary. Compassion makes it possible to tolerate that hurt and fear. It is on the side of truth, and helps us to persist in our search for truth. The truth will ultimately dissolve the hurt, but this is a by-product. In fact, it is only when compassion is present that people will allow themselves to see the truth. Where there is no compassion there is no trust. (Diamond Heart Book 1, pg 92)
Day 3, Tiferet within Hesed
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
Tiferet (beauty, mercy, compassion, the harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed)
How am I open to experiencing giving unconditionally? And even unconditional lovingkindness? Let's see when I recognize lovingkindness, or a giving, that has no strings attached. I'd love to directly experience beauty as a harmonization of Gevurah & Hesed without having "to think" what it would be like -- just to experience it. And, how is compassion a harmony between Gevurah & Hesed?
My day was full yet not overwhelming. I had plenty of space between appointments. In fact, after my 2nd appointment, I let myself feel how tired I was -- acknowledged it instead of ignoring it. Here again I see old ideas & beliefs showing themselves -- on of which is that tiredness is a form of weakness. Today I was not only present with it but also decided to take a nap. Was this decision from a place of compassion? mercy? Maybe so. I'm learning more & more how essential qualities, such as, compassion, love, etc. are always present, available, & do arise as needed. I've also learned that we're often not aware of the qualities of presence.
Here are two quotes that I found applicable for me relating to this third gate of consciousness:
Beauty is a reflection of truth, and truth is ultimately true nature. And the dimension of true nature that reveals this essential beauty is that of divine love. (Inner Journey Home, p 287)
Compassion is a kind of healing agent which helps us to tolerate the hurt of seeing the truth. The function of compassion in the Work is not to reduce hurt; its function is to lead to the truth. Much of the time, the truth is painful or scary. Compassion makes it possible to tolerate that hurt and fear. It is on the side of truth, and helps us to persist in our search for truth. The truth will ultimately dissolve the hurt, but this is a by-product. In fact, it is only when compassion is present that people will allow themselves to see the truth. Where there is no compassion there is no trust. (Diamond Heart Book 1, pg 92)
Sunday, May 22, 2011
WEEK 1 HESED
Day 2, Gevurah within Hesed
Day 2, Gevurah within Hesed
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)
Gevurah (strength, judgement, justice, boundaries, restraint)
In what ways do I take pauses during the day, within the flow of time and thoughts throughout my day, to check-in with myself to see what I'm experiencing in that very moment? Which boundaries do I find easier to establish? Which are hardest for me? What laws (rules) does my mind hold tightly? How do these ideas and beliefs show themselves in my life today? And, how do these rules limit me from experiencing loving-kindness from the universe? From myself?
Especially because it was my intent "to pause" (to check-in with myself) during the day, I discovered something (new &) unexpected about boundaries. I knew the pause would be a boundary (somehow), but the direct experience was vital for a fresh understanding. The pause itself was like a "freeze-frame" within a stream that consists of (unconscious) thoughts, mostly carried along in the stream as part of the stream. Somehow that pause creates a space where I'm out of the unconscious stream and now conscious of myself in the present moment.
Also, today I experienced moments where I "caught" (saw where) a rule (an idea or belief) arose in my mind . . . and I could see how "going along with it" would be limiting my experience. These rules -- if I do this, then that will happen -- really do limit the possibilities. Something quite extraordinary might happen -- and it did (more than once).
Also, today I experienced moments where I "caught" (saw where) a rule (an idea or belief) arose in my mind . . . and I could see how "going along with it" would be limiting my experience. These rules -- if I do this, then that will happen -- really do limit the possibilities. Something quite extraordinary might happen -- and it did (more than once).
Saturday, May 21, 2011
WEEK 1 HESED
Day 1, Hesed within Hesed
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
How am I experiencing ever-flow this day? Have I had opportunities to offer something to others unconditionally (my presence, generosity, love)? Where do I tend to not have any restraint? And, in my inner world, have I experienced lovingkindness to myself from myself? How so?
My whole day opened-up -- no appointments, no rushed deadlines. I actually had continuous opportunities to be aware of my day unfolding naturally without any pressure (externally or internally). At some point, I had this realization that this day is a gift . . . of love. Even cleaning out and organizing a kitchen drawer seemed effortless; there was no prior planning to even clean out that drawer. It was spontaneous. No rushing. Peaceful, easy, with lots of presence. This day was a day of giving space to myself . . . for myself . . . for no reason. It didn't have anything to do with whether I deserved it or not.
Day 1, Hesed within Hesed
Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)
How am I experiencing ever-flow this day? Have I had opportunities to offer something to others unconditionally (my presence, generosity, love)? Where do I tend to not have any restraint? And, in my inner world, have I experienced lovingkindness to myself from myself? How so?
My whole day opened-up -- no appointments, no rushed deadlines. I actually had continuous opportunities to be aware of my day unfolding naturally without any pressure (externally or internally). At some point, I had this realization that this day is a gift . . . of love. Even cleaning out and organizing a kitchen drawer seemed effortless; there was no prior planning to even clean out that drawer. It was spontaneous. No rushing. Peaceful, easy, with lots of presence. This day was a day of giving space to myself . . . for myself . . . for no reason. It didn't have anything to do with whether I deserved it or not.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Counting the Omer – 49 Gates of Consciousness
A Daily Practice for 49 Days
From a Kabbalist’s perspective, Counting the Omer* is an active inter-dimensional exploration of the seven Sefirot associated with the 7 days of Creation.
It’s a daily practice that begins sunset May 21, 2011 for 49 days (49 gates of consciousness).
The traditional perspective of most people (Jewish) who practice the Counting of the Omer is that it’s a movement through time from Exodus** to Sinai*** -- the transition period from slavery to true liberation.
For many people, the "counting of the Omer"—these 49 days—provides a time for reflection and growth by focusing on the seven “lower” emanations [of God, Reality, our own True Nature] as spiritual themes for each day and week.
Each day, this practice provides a necessary element which coalesces with what’s present resulting in an alchemical process to manifest true gold. By recognizing our own constriction, our narrow-spaces, even our places of deadness, we can experience a shift, a new perspective, an awakening and opening to Life.
Notes:
*Omer -- An Omer is a unit of measure used for grain. An Omer of barley was cut down and brought to the Temple as an offering.
**Exodus -- Exodus – leaving Egypt, slavery, narrow-place
***Sinai – desert, unknown and also empty, open-space. Mt. Sinai where Moses received Torah -- revelation, teaching
A Daily Practice for 49 Days
From a Kabbalist’s perspective, Counting the Omer* is an active inter-dimensional exploration of the seven Sefirot associated with the 7 days of Creation.
It’s a daily practice that begins sunset May 21, 2011 for 49 days (49 gates of consciousness).
The traditional perspective of most people (Jewish) who practice the Counting of the Omer is that it’s a movement through time from Exodus** to Sinai*** -- the transition period from slavery to true liberation.
For many people, the "counting of the Omer"—these 49 days—provides a time for reflection and growth by focusing on the seven “lower” emanations [of God, Reality, our own True Nature] as spiritual themes for each day and week.
Each day, this practice provides a necessary element which coalesces with what’s present resulting in an alchemical process to manifest true gold. By recognizing our own constriction, our narrow-spaces, even our places of deadness, we can experience a shift, a new perspective, an awakening and opening to Life.
Notes:
*Omer -- An Omer is a unit of measure used for grain. An Omer of barley was cut down and brought to the Temple as an offering.
**Exodus -- Exodus – leaving Egypt, slavery, narrow-place
***Sinai – desert, unknown and also empty, open-space. Mt. Sinai where Moses received Torah -- revelation, teaching
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Did Curiosity Really Kill the Cat?
Is it curiosity or distrust?
It's sad but true -- I do NOT trust most advertisements. I actually remember a time when businesses were held to a higher-standard of TRUTH-in-advertising. Those were the days I did not hit the mute-button on my remote when a series of commercials interrupted my TV-entertainment. Oh yeah, well, that was before remotes . . . but still, even if remotes existed back then, I would NOT have needed to mute the commercials.
Since I'm not drawn to buying "energy drinks" (a.k.a. Sports Drinks) I haven't been aware of exactly what's available in stores. Yes, I probably hit the mute-button when the commercial comes on TV. I don't live completely under a rock though -- I have heard that most energy drinks are loaded with sugar and caffeine to give the experience of an energy-boost, but this has not been a topic of interest for me since I don't drink them. It's not that I don't need energy; I just don't need the awful side-effects that come AFTER the sugar high.
How did this topic of Energy/Sports Drinks come up in my universe?
Just moments ago during a phone conversation, someone mentioned a "healthy energy drink" that supposedly has all kind of good vitamins and nutrients added to it and is lower in calories than Gatorade. She highly recommended this particular healthy drink. Another plus -- this drink was recommended by her doctor.
Curiosity or Distrust?
At first I was curious. Then, when she told me the name of the drink, my Distrust-red-light started going off.
Have you heard about the Gatorade-branded "healthy energy drink" called G-2? I had not heard of it but checked it out (curiosity?) on the internet to find more about it. One of the ingredients is High-fructose corn syrup (distrust!).
What we should know about High-fructose corn syrup (source: wikipedia)
Recently, I read an article written in 2008 about the dangers of HFCS. There was a piece in the article about how researchers from Rutgers University found "very high levels of reactive carbonyls" in eleven carbonated soft drinks sweetened with HFCS. The article says that reactive carbonyls "have been linked to tissue damage and complications of diabetes." And, guess what!? A single can of soda has five times that concentration of reactive carbonyls. Old-fashioned table sugar has NO reactive carbonyls. (Source: the nutrition reporter)
Curiosity: So, there's evidence that HFCS is responsible for tissue damage -- I'm thinking major organs are made up of tissues, i.e., lungs, heart, kidneys. It makes no sense to me how a product linked to tissue damage can even be on the market!?
Curiosity: So, is it true that we have government agencies with the responsibility of ensuring food & other products are safe? Oh, maybe the government agencies only write the policy. Does that mean we need "food police"?
Curiosity: So, there really are human beings who can produce and sell products that might be dangerous to other beings . . . and they can do this with a clear conscience?
What can we do? I say "we" because I know I'm not alone in feeling overwhelmed with wanting "to do" something and yet feeling like I'm just one individual. Yet I know the answer is to just keep on writing and talking -- researching and sharing what I find -- asking questions and sharing what I find out.
It wasn't curiosity that killed the cat; it was automatic, unconscious behavior. If the cat had truly been curious, he would've been more aware of his environment and the danger.
Is it curiosity or distrust?
It's sad but true -- I do NOT trust most advertisements. I actually remember a time when businesses were held to a higher-standard of TRUTH-in-advertising. Those were the days I did not hit the mute-button on my remote when a series of commercials interrupted my TV-entertainment. Oh yeah, well, that was before remotes . . . but still, even if remotes existed back then, I would NOT have needed to mute the commercials.
Since I'm not drawn to buying "energy drinks" (a.k.a. Sports Drinks) I haven't been aware of exactly what's available in stores. Yes, I probably hit the mute-button when the commercial comes on TV. I don't live completely under a rock though -- I have heard that most energy drinks are loaded with sugar and caffeine to give the experience of an energy-boost, but this has not been a topic of interest for me since I don't drink them. It's not that I don't need energy; I just don't need the awful side-effects that come AFTER the sugar high.
How did this topic of Energy/Sports Drinks come up in my universe?
Just moments ago during a phone conversation, someone mentioned a "healthy energy drink" that supposedly has all kind of good vitamins and nutrients added to it and is lower in calories than Gatorade. She highly recommended this particular healthy drink. Another plus -- this drink was recommended by her doctor.
Curiosity or Distrust?
At first I was curious. Then, when she told me the name of the drink, my Distrust-red-light started going off.
Have you heard about the Gatorade-branded "healthy energy drink" called G-2? I had not heard of it but checked it out (curiosity?) on the internet to find more about it. One of the ingredients is High-fructose corn syrup (distrust!).
What we should know about High-fructose corn syrup (source: wikipedia)
- HFCS is a corn syrup that's undergone enzymatic processing to convert its glucose into fructose AND THEN it's been mixed with pure corn syrup (100% glucose) to produce its specific sweetness. I'm no scientist so nothing in that sentence makes particular sense to me.
- HFCS has replaced sucrose (table sugar) in the U.S. due to governmental subsidies of U. S. corn and an import tariff on foreign sugar. The tariff raises the price of sugar. Government subsidies makes using HFCS aLOT cheaper in products. Oh, and most corn grown in the U. S. is genetically modified.
- Health hazards of HFCS:
- mercury reported in some HFCS manufactured in the U.S. in 2005. Curiosity: why are we finding mercury in a corn product?
- liver disease (scarring or fibrosis) found among patients with non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (attributed to increased consumption of HFCS)
- digestive disorders, i.e., fructose malabsorption, formerly named "dietary fructose intolerance." This digestive disorder is actually a dietary disability of the small intestine where the amount of fructose carrier in enterocytes is deficient. Curiosity: what causes the small intestine's disability to function as it's supposed to (specifically related to processing fructose)?
- obesity -- research has fallen on both sides, depending on what each side WANTS to prove. On one side, there's a correlation between obesity and the increased replacement of sugar with HFCS in products such as soft drinks, including energy/sports drinks. The other side finds no such correlation. Curiosity: Was there a time when "research" was conducted to actually discover the truth? Rather than trying to prove something that may or may not be true!
There are a number of other factors that can be seen by anyone who cares to look. One such factor is the amount consumed. The soft drink container has increased from 6 oz. to 1 liter or more. As the container has increased the ingredients changed from sugar to HFCS.
Also, the psychological effect of increasing the soft drinks container size is obvious. Most people associate drinking "the whole thing" as what's expected. It's like the industry dictates our personal serving size.
Even if I'm curious because I don't trust something, the underlying intention for me is to "really know the truth." To me, this means that I read and listen to a wide range of sources beyond the advertisement.
Recently, I read an article written in 2008 about the dangers of HFCS. There was a piece in the article about how researchers from Rutgers University found "very high levels of reactive carbonyls" in eleven carbonated soft drinks sweetened with HFCS. The article says that reactive carbonyls "have been linked to tissue damage and complications of diabetes." And, guess what!? A single can of soda has five times that concentration of reactive carbonyls. Old-fashioned table sugar has NO reactive carbonyls. (Source: the nutrition reporter)
Curiosity: So, there's evidence that HFCS is responsible for tissue damage -- I'm thinking major organs are made up of tissues, i.e., lungs, heart, kidneys. It makes no sense to me how a product linked to tissue damage can even be on the market!?
Curiosity: So, is it true that we have government agencies with the responsibility of ensuring food & other products are safe? Oh, maybe the government agencies only write the policy. Does that mean we need "food police"?
Curiosity: So, there really are human beings who can produce and sell products that might be dangerous to other beings . . . and they can do this with a clear conscience?
What can we do? I say "we" because I know I'm not alone in feeling overwhelmed with wanting "to do" something and yet feeling like I'm just one individual. Yet I know the answer is to just keep on writing and talking -- researching and sharing what I find -- asking questions and sharing what I find out.
It wasn't curiosity that killed the cat; it was automatic, unconscious behavior. If the cat had truly been curious, he would've been more aware of his environment and the danger.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
An "Opening" Argument
Here's something that most people can relate to -- recently my husband, Dave, & I had an argument that unfolded in an "opening" that I'm still relishing. It's not important what the argument was about. What's important is how "practicing being present" can truly open us up to so much more in Life.
The Argument
Dave & I had an argument (we hardly ever argue) . . . each of us was trying to be heard by the other. I told him he was NOT GETTING ME, NOT GETTING WHAT I WAS SAYING. He didn’t say it, but I knew the very moment it was out of my mouth, that I was NOT GETTING HIM either. The energy of the argument changed . . . I think for a number of reasons. In that present moment . . .
--I noticed (realized, consciously) what we were doing – talking to each other without the other half (listening to each other AND trying to understand). I think it’s important for me to point out that this noticing was not a “remembering” of some rule of communication. It was an actual “Oh! Look at this!”
--I realized that if I let myself really listen to him (which meant asking questions to help me understand where he was in that moment rather than assume I already knew) that it did not mean I had to give up anything about myself. Hmmm . . . this realization was interesting, because in the moment I had not realized I felt I would have to “abandon myself.”
--Other realizations that I won’t go into (the first two were the biggest)
An “Opening”
The argument itself was not what opened me to see myself and Reality more clearly – it was the direct experience of noticing what was happening simultaneously in the field WHILE we were arguing. I never would’ve noticed what was happening in the field if I had not started sensing within myself – within my own body – to be present with whatever I was experiencing in the moment. Admittedly, I was not fully present when the argument began; and, I was not fully present as I defended my position at the beginning of the argument. However, once I became present; once I inquired into what I was feeling emotionally AND what I was experiencing in my body, then the field opened to include much more than I ever expected. One very important piece now included in this bigger space was Dave.
Direct Experience -- No ‘Secret’
Using the communication-process in the past has always been more like using the steps in a manual, if you know what I mean. It was “this is the way you’re supposed to communicate.” What happened during the argument with Dave was spontaneous, in the moment, and continued to unfold in each successive moment only because I became very present. Even the fact that I could actually listen to him (let him have his air-space) and did not need to abandon myself was part of the process.
How interesting to discover for oneself something that she knew to be true only in her mind! I’m thinking now that this may very well mean that although I knew “in my mind” that I did not need to abandon myself (during an argument) in order to listen to another, there must’ve been some part of me that disbelieved it . . . UNTIL I actually experienced it for myself! (Note: Real, direct experience is something Positive Thinking gurus and followers, i.e., The Secret, are totally missing.)
A Dynamic Field
Looking back on this event, I can see even more how dynamic the field was during the argument. When I say the field was dynamic, I mean that it was active, not static at all. Changes in the field were happening whether we were aware of it or not. Different aspects of our personality (personal histories including psychological, emotional levels of ourselves) showed up in the field along with social, cultural history that’s part of us because we’re part of a historical society.
On the personal level, I can now see how a child-version of myself was present in the field. I’m reminded of how when I was little I could NOT “win” an argument with my parents. I’d imagine most kids feel that way yet I don’t want to ignore or discard it. At first it seems odd to me seeing the word “win” (or “lose”) alongside the word argument. I wondered “why does there need to be a winner and a loser of an argument? As I sat with the question, I recognized how the field is affected by so many things we’re unconscious of . . . for example, the little girl who felt she could not be heard (and somehow winning an argument with her parents would mean she was heard?) . . . Also, in the field, is the very origin of the word argument as well as how it’s been carried along from generation-to-generation through time, i.e., Greek/Roman politics, philosophers, etc. would present arguments (and our government officials do that even today). There is definitely a winning/losing aspect to all that.
Drama, Parts & Roles
An argument (as it’s practiced or played out) usually includes defending a particular view, a view that fills our field. Think of the very act of defending and what that means! Think of a castle defended by a moat and huge stone walls! It’s well-defended because the defenses are strong and NOTHING is supposed to penetrate those defenses. We defend that in which we believe, something to which we’re attached for some reason. The attachment is like a clinging to something that defines us in some way – it becomes us; we become it – or so it seems in the mind. And, if that’s where we live most of the time, in the mind, then how can we be other than our thoughts and beliefs.
So, in the argument with Dave, I “thought and believed” that Dave was not “getting me” (not being seen nor heard). There is truth still to this day that in the beginning of the argument (before the shift) he wasn’t getting me -- nor was I getting him. But in the beginning of that argument, I somehow became “the one who is not being seen & heard.” This one, this piece of my personality, not only needed defending (victim or damsel in distress – hence metaphorically, the moat and the walls to the castle are in place), the only way to “win” this battle (‘argument’ becomes ‘battle’ now) is to be RIGHT and to force the enemy (huh, now Dave is my enemy?) to submit to me, to my view. My Defender-self has arrived in full armor and ready for battle – to force Dave to submit, to see things my way. What a drama!
Waking Up
The shift happened when I woke up to what was happening. The moment I “remembered” to notice what I was experiencing INSIDE the field changed. It became bigger, more spacious and included more of Reality including clarity and understanding. By taking mere moments to pay attention to what was happening inside of myself, I included more of myself. By including more of myself, I also included Dave and everything else that was arising in the dynamic field. The drama dissipated as an illusion loses form. In this fresh, new space Dave and I actually began communicating with each other. I could hear him and see him. He could hear me and see me. The only thing being protected now was Truth -- our True Nature. Each of us was free to be who we really were (are) which includes our vulnerability. Vulnerability includes innocence and a new perspective like a fresh breeze. I actually experienced a solid sense of being supported by our willingness to be present and undefended. It seems to me that in that moment our egos dissolved and we stood naked before each other. There really was no threat – only love and truth.
Here's something that most people can relate to -- recently my husband, Dave, & I had an argument that unfolded in an "opening" that I'm still relishing. It's not important what the argument was about. What's important is how "practicing being present" can truly open us up to so much more in Life.
The Argument
Dave & I had an argument (we hardly ever argue) . . . each of us was trying to be heard by the other. I told him he was NOT GETTING ME, NOT GETTING WHAT I WAS SAYING. He didn’t say it, but I knew the very moment it was out of my mouth, that I was NOT GETTING HIM either. The energy of the argument changed . . . I think for a number of reasons. In that present moment . . .
--I noticed (realized, consciously) what we were doing – talking to each other without the other half (listening to each other AND trying to understand). I think it’s important for me to point out that this noticing was not a “remembering” of some rule of communication. It was an actual “Oh! Look at this!”
--I realized that if I let myself really listen to him (which meant asking questions to help me understand where he was in that moment rather than assume I already knew) that it did not mean I had to give up anything about myself. Hmmm . . . this realization was interesting, because in the moment I had not realized I felt I would have to “abandon myself.”
--Other realizations that I won’t go into (the first two were the biggest)
An “Opening”
The argument itself was not what opened me to see myself and Reality more clearly – it was the direct experience of noticing what was happening simultaneously in the field WHILE we were arguing. I never would’ve noticed what was happening in the field if I had not started sensing within myself – within my own body – to be present with whatever I was experiencing in the moment. Admittedly, I was not fully present when the argument began; and, I was not fully present as I defended my position at the beginning of the argument. However, once I became present; once I inquired into what I was feeling emotionally AND what I was experiencing in my body, then the field opened to include much more than I ever expected. One very important piece now included in this bigger space was Dave.
Direct Experience -- No ‘Secret’
Using the communication-process in the past has always been more like using the steps in a manual, if you know what I mean. It was “this is the way you’re supposed to communicate.” What happened during the argument with Dave was spontaneous, in the moment, and continued to unfold in each successive moment only because I became very present. Even the fact that I could actually listen to him (let him have his air-space) and did not need to abandon myself was part of the process.
How interesting to discover for oneself something that she knew to be true only in her mind! I’m thinking now that this may very well mean that although I knew “in my mind” that I did not need to abandon myself (during an argument) in order to listen to another, there must’ve been some part of me that disbelieved it . . . UNTIL I actually experienced it for myself! (Note: Real, direct experience is something Positive Thinking gurus and followers, i.e., The Secret, are totally missing.)
A Dynamic Field
Looking back on this event, I can see even more how dynamic the field was during the argument. When I say the field was dynamic, I mean that it was active, not static at all. Changes in the field were happening whether we were aware of it or not. Different aspects of our personality (personal histories including psychological, emotional levels of ourselves) showed up in the field along with social, cultural history that’s part of us because we’re part of a historical society.
On the personal level, I can now see how a child-version of myself was present in the field. I’m reminded of how when I was little I could NOT “win” an argument with my parents. I’d imagine most kids feel that way yet I don’t want to ignore or discard it. At first it seems odd to me seeing the word “win” (or “lose”) alongside the word argument. I wondered “why does there need to be a winner and a loser of an argument? As I sat with the question, I recognized how the field is affected by so many things we’re unconscious of . . . for example, the little girl who felt she could not be heard (and somehow winning an argument with her parents would mean she was heard?) . . . Also, in the field, is the very origin of the word argument as well as how it’s been carried along from generation-to-generation through time, i.e., Greek/Roman politics, philosophers, etc. would present arguments (and our government officials do that even today
An argument (as it’s practiced or played out) usually includes defending a particular view, a view that fills our field. Think of the very act of defending and what that means! Think of a castle defended by a moat and huge stone walls! It’s well-defended because the defenses are strong and NOTHING is supposed to penetrate those defenses. We defend that in which we believe, something to which we’re attached for some reason. The attachment is like a clinging to something that defines us in some way – it becomes us; we become it – or so it seems in the mind. And, if that’s where we live most of the time, in the mind, then how can we be other than our thoughts and beliefs.
So, in the argument with Dave, I “thought and believed” that Dave was not “getting me” (not being seen nor heard). There is truth still to this day that in the beginning of the argument (before the shift) he wasn’t getting me -- nor was I getting him. But in the beginning of that argument, I somehow became “the one who is not being seen & heard.” This one, this piece of my personality, not only needed defending (victim or damsel in distress – hence metaphorically, the moat and the walls to the castle are in place), the only way to “win” this battle (‘argument’ becomes ‘battle’ now) is to be RIGHT and to force the enemy (huh, now Dave is my enemy?) to submit to me, to my view. My Defender-self has arrived in full armor and ready for battle – to force Dave to submit, to see things my way. What a drama!
Waking Up
The shift happened when I woke up to what was happening. The moment I “remembered” to notice what I was experiencing INSIDE the field changed. It became bigger, more spacious and included more of Reality including clarity and understanding. By taking mere moments to pay attention to what was happening inside of myself, I included more of myself. By including more of myself, I also included Dave and everything else that was arising in the dynamic field. The drama dissipated as an illusion loses form. In this fresh, new space Dave and I actually began communicating with each other. I could hear him and see him. He could hear me and see me. The only thing being protected now was Truth -- our True Nature. Each of us was free to be who we really were (are) which includes our vulnerability. Vulnerability includes innocence and a new perspective like a fresh breeze. I actually experienced a solid sense of being supported by our willingness to be present and undefended. It seems to me that in that moment our egos dissolved and we stood naked before each other. There really was no threat – only love and truth.
Monday, December 22, 2008
A Somatic Meditation
If you practice this meditation for awhile, you'll experience some interesting things as you go about your day. How long is awhile? It's actually different for everyone. It may be a few days or weeks. It may even be that you experience something different that very same day. What can you expect? Again, there's a smorgasbord of experiences and they're all good. You'll actually feel more alive, more in tune with your body, your inner-being, and with others. You'll feel more centered within yourself, more connected, grounded. You'll find that some things that might have pushed your buttons in the past no longer have the same charge they once did.
Somatic has to do "with the body." This particular practice brings consciousness to your physical body merely by focusing your own awareness on different parts of your body. This is not a body-scan. You don't want to zip through this. You want to do this very, very slowly -- take your time. Give this time to yourself; luxuriate in the whole experience as if you're taking an awareness bubble-bath.
When I do this meditation practice, I start with one side of my body beginning with one foot; and then I move up my body. When I get to my head I move back down the other side of my body and end with the opposite foot.
You want to use your awareness to really feel whatever part of the body you're focusing on. For example, let's say you start with your right foot, notice (with your awareness) the feel of your foot, the way it curves, the temperature, the texture. Just notice whatever you notice. Then, as you move up to your ankle, notice (with your awareness) the bones in the ankle, how they protrude out a little. Notice how when you move up the front of your leg from the ankle, to the shin, how the skin over the shin-bone feels. Is it taut? Is it sensitive? Just notice whatever you notice. Go over your whole body with this awareness-touching.
Try this meditation practice in bed before you get up in the morning and before you go to sleep at night. If you want to use this at work during a break, go for it. Experiment with it. Enjoy it!
If you practice this meditation for awhile, you'll experience some interesting things as you go about your day. How long is awhile? It's actually different for everyone. It may be a few days or weeks. It may even be that you experience something different that very same day. What can you expect? Again, there's a smorgasbord of experiences and they're all good. You'll actually feel more alive, more in tune with your body, your inner-being, and with others. You'll feel more centered within yourself, more connected, grounded. You'll find that some things that might have pushed your buttons in the past no longer have the same charge they once did.
Somatic has to do "with the body." This particular practice brings consciousness to your physical body merely by focusing your own awareness on different parts of your body. This is not a body-scan. You don't want to zip through this. You want to do this very, very slowly -- take your time. Give this time to yourself; luxuriate in the whole experience as if you're taking an awareness bubble-bath.
When I do this meditation practice, I start with one side of my body beginning with one foot; and then I move up my body. When I get to my head I move back down the other side of my body and end with the opposite foot.
You want to use your awareness to really feel whatever part of the body you're focusing on. For example, let's say you start with your right foot, notice (with your awareness) the feel of your foot, the way it curves, the temperature, the texture. Just notice whatever you notice. Then, as you move up to your ankle, notice (with your awareness) the bones in the ankle, how they protrude out a little. Notice how when you move up the front of your leg from the ankle, to the shin, how the skin over the shin-bone feels. Is it taut? Is it sensitive? Just notice whatever you notice. Go over your whole body with this awareness-touching.
Try this meditation practice in bed before you get up in the morning and before you go to sleep at night. If you want to use this at work during a break, go for it. Experiment with it. Enjoy it!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
How's Your Energy for LIFE?
Think about that question. Really feel into it. Right now, in this very moment, are you able to tap into yourself and really feel your own aliveness? Are you aware of this feeling of aliveness during your day in whatever it is that you're doing? I wonder if you actually feel more alive some times and then other times you really don't feel anything at all.
These are the same questions I asked myself as I read an excellent newsletter article, "Why Personal Boundaries Matter" by Lauren Zander. Zander is the founder of Handel Group, a private corporate consulting company in New York. Thanks to her article, I was reminded of the importance of personal boundaries in keeping ourselves centered and authentic. Only when we're being centered and authentic within ourselves are we able to be with others in an authentic way. I was also reminded of how naive I was most of my life as to how important personal boundaries are to our health and well-being. Personal boundaries actually do effect our zest for life.
A Personal Boundary Connection
Isn't it interesting how our energy actually gets zapped when we fail to establish and maintain our own personal boundaries? There really is a connection to how we feel when we establish and maintain our personal boundaries and when we don't. Here are a couple of examples from Zander's article of personal boundaries being violated :
-- the mom who works long hours at the office all week and spends her evenings and weekends caring for her family with nary a break for herself
-- the dad who always says "yes" to requests from neighbors, relatives and friends -- even when helping them intrudes on his own plans.
Did you recognize anything about yourself in either of these examples? The thing about boundaries that many people don't understand is that boundaries show that you respect and honor your own needs. Do you feel that having your own needs is foreign to you? If so, isn't it time for you to (1) identify what your needs are and then (2) establish some personal boundaries that can help you get your needs met?
On the other hand, there are those whose boundaries are so rigid to ensure their own needs are met that their needs always take center stage. Quite often we see a dynamic between partners where one person has strong boundaries and the other has weak or no boundaries at all.
Identifying Unmet Needs
We all need to be cognizant of our own personal needs; and, quite frankly, we should not expect someone else to know what those needs are. Yet sometimes we get so lost in routines of the day that we don't even think about our needs -- specifically the little ones. For example, maybe you need to take your lunch-time away from your office instead of sitting at your desk. Maybe you need to allow yourself time to take a nap. How can you discover your unmet needs? The next time you become frustrated, annoyed or whiny, ask yourself questions about what needs you may not be honoring.
It's important to recognize that it's OK to have needs and to honor them. It's also important to remember that other people have needs and we need to honor them as well. When our needs conflict with others, it's time for communication and possibly negotiation. Remember communication includes listening as well as talking. Oftentimes when we listen we find out information we did not know. By letting others know what we need and listening to what others need, we may very well come to a better understanding as to what it is we actually do need.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Stress as a Habit
First let me be clear that I'm not saying that stress is always a habit. There are many things that can cause stress. We can experience stress from outside influences as well as inner-influences. The whole idea that stress can be a habit hit me a few years ago when I was working with a Naturopath and he noticed that my resting pulse was higher than normal. We were looking at at various kinds of things that might be considered stressors in my life, including the possibility of a sensitivity to certain foods. He gave me the assignment of keeping a record of my pulse-rate throughout the day, beginning first thing in the morning before I even got out of bed.
One of the best things that came out of my work with him was the realization that I'd thrived on stress most of my life. For me, stress had become a habit, a pattern of behavior that was completely unconscious. My first clue showed up when he asked me: "What's the very first thing you do in the morning?" Whatever I answered, he shook his head and said: "No, I mean, when your eyes open, when you wake up, what do you do?"
Three years later I still remember my answer to the Naturopath. With great sense of aplomb and energy, I raised my arm, hand in a victory-fist and said: "I jump out of bed like a race-horse leaving the gate!" I'll bet if he would've checked my pulse-rate in that moment it would have been extremely high. He looked at me, smiled, then asked if I would change my normal waking behavior for two-weeks so that we could get a record of my resting pulse-rate. He explained that until I took my resting pulse, I needed to do everything v e r y slowly. He described a scenario where I'd actually recognize that I was waking up first; I'd slowly open my eyes and just lay there. Next, I might just notice things, like the light in the room, my breathing, maybe even my heartbeat, and the stillness in the room. After laying there for awhile, before even raising my head, I needed to take my pulse-rate.
Waking Up with Presence
My Naturopath gave me a gift of presence, first, by being very present with me and describing alternatives for how I could begin my day in a state of calm instead of stress. For all the years that I'd been waking up like a race-horse, I unconsciously had been putting undue stress on my body. I was putting myself in an automatic state of fight-or-flight which had a direct affect on my hormones and my heart-rate. Secondly, his wanting to see a record of my resting pulse meant that, for at least two weeks, I needed to begin my day in a way that I don't remember ever doing -- waking up with presence. When we are present, time literally slows down. It's like watching a single-snowflake as it falls in the midst of all the other snowflakes. That single snowflake appears to be falling much slower than all the other snowflakes. If you've never experienced this phenomenon, try it next time it snows.
Mistaken Aliveness
Something else I've learned about myself and stress is that with stress I often experience anxiousness which on one hand feels like a lot of energy but on the other hand (after awhile) it feels energy-draining. While doing some self-inquiry work around stress, I discovered a fascinating truth about how I experience stress & anxiety -- it has a similarity with the feeling of aliveness. Isn't that interesting? I wonder if somehow we forget how to authentically feel such a basic, essential quality like aliveness? I'm curious whether it's possible to actually mistake the experience of stress or anxiety for aliveness itself. What do you think?
First let me be clear that I'm not saying that stress is always a habit. There are many things that can cause stress. We can experience stress from outside influences as well as inner-influences. The whole idea that stress can be a habit hit me a few years ago when I was working with a Naturopath and he noticed that my resting pulse was higher than normal. We were looking at at various kinds of things that might be considered stressors in my life, including the possibility of a sensitivity to certain foods. He gave me the assignment of keeping a record of my pulse-rate throughout the day, beginning first thing in the morning before I even got out of bed.
One of the best things that came out of my work with him was the realization that I'd thrived on stress most of my life. For me, stress had become a habit, a pattern of behavior that was completely unconscious. My first clue showed up when he asked me: "What's the very first thing you do in the morning?" Whatever I answered, he shook his head and said: "No, I mean, when your eyes open, when you wake up, what do you do?"
Three years later I still remember my answer to the Naturopath. With great sense of aplomb and energy, I raised my arm, hand in a victory-fist and said: "I jump out of bed like a race-horse leaving the gate!" I'll bet if he would've checked my pulse-rate in that moment it would have been extremely high. He looked at me, smiled, then asked if I would change my normal waking behavior for two-weeks so that we could get a record of my resting pulse-rate. He explained that until I took my resting pulse, I needed to do everything v e r y slowly. He described a scenario where I'd actually recognize that I was waking up first; I'd slowly open my eyes and just lay there. Next, I might just notice things, like the light in the room, my breathing, maybe even my heartbeat, and the stillness in the room. After laying there for awhile, before even raising my head, I needed to take my pulse-rate.
Waking Up with Presence
My Naturopath gave me a gift of presence, first, by being very present with me and describing alternatives for how I could begin my day in a state of calm instead of stress. For all the years that I'd been waking up like a race-horse, I unconsciously had been putting undue stress on my body. I was putting myself in an automatic state of fight-or-flight which had a direct affect on my hormones and my heart-rate. Secondly, his wanting to see a record of my resting pulse meant that, for at least two weeks, I needed to begin my day in a way that I don't remember ever doing -- waking up with presence. When we are present, time literally slows down. It's like watching a single-snowflake as it falls in the midst of all the other snowflakes. That single snowflake appears to be falling much slower than all the other snowflakes. If you've never experienced this phenomenon, try it next time it snows.
Mistaken Aliveness
Something else I've learned about myself and stress is that with stress I often experience anxiousness which on one hand feels like a lot of energy but on the other hand (after awhile) it feels energy-draining. While doing some self-inquiry work around stress, I discovered a fascinating truth about how I experience stress & anxiety -- it has a similarity with the feeling of aliveness. Isn't that interesting? I wonder if somehow we forget how to authentically feel such a basic, essential quality like aliveness? I'm curious whether it's possible to actually mistake the experience of stress or anxiety for aliveness itself. What do you think?
Saturday, September 27, 2008
A Daily Practice --
Periodic 3-Minute Presence
Here's a daily practice that you can do multiple times during the day every day. And, if you will do this practice, I can assure you that you will experience more clarity and more energy throughout your day. Now, since this is a 3-minute exercise, there should be no excuses that you cannot find the time! I won't name names. You know who you are J
You can do this at home, work, the gym, while standing in line, while waiting for a traffic light to turn green. You can do this practice any time, anywhere.
Here's what you do:
Wherever you are, whatever you're doing . . . STOP. Focus your attention inside yourself. See what you notice. Whatever you notice don't judge it and don't let your mind start dialoging about it (or you might go over your 3-minute practice time limit!). Just notice whatever you notice. Your stomach might be rumbling (yes, you might be hungry but remember -- no dialogue -- just notice it). Your breathing might be shallow. Just notice it (you might actually spontaneously take a deeper breath, or not). Your toes may feel cramped. If you're outside, you may feel a breeze across your skin. If you're inside, you might feel air from an air vent move your hair a bit. Whatever you notice is just whatever you notice.
The most important part of this 3-minute practice is your complete focus. If you go over 3-minutes, that's OK. You may need to time yourself in the beginning, but after awhile you'll be able to do this without timing yourself.
Periodic 3-Minute Presence
Here's a daily practice that you can do multiple times during the day every day. And, if you will do this practice, I can assure you that you will experience more clarity and more energy throughout your day. Now, since this is a 3-minute exercise, there should be no excuses that you cannot find the time! I won't name names. You know who you are J
You can do this at home, work, the gym, while standing in line, while waiting for a traffic light to turn green. You can do this practice any time, anywhere.
Here's what you do:
Wherever you are, whatever you're doing . . . STOP. Focus your attention inside yourself. See what you notice. Whatever you notice don't judge it and don't let your mind start dialoging about it (or you might go over your 3-minute practice time limit!). Just notice whatever you notice. Your stomach might be rumbling (yes, you might be hungry but remember -- no dialogue -- just notice it). Your breathing might be shallow. Just notice it (you might actually spontaneously take a deeper breath, or not). Your toes may feel cramped. If you're outside, you may feel a breeze across your skin. If you're inside, you might feel air from an air vent move your hair a bit. Whatever you notice is just whatever you notice.
The most important part of this 3-minute practice is your complete focus. If you go over 3-minutes, that's OK. You may need to time yourself in the beginning, but after awhile you'll be able to do this without timing yourself.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Inquiring into Who’s Manifesting What?
We really are multidimensional beings. We exist with many bodies, i.e., physical, subtle, and causal. Each body manifests itself as an expression of Being. Once we’re able to shift our perspective back and forth from the narrow, bounded Ego/Personality-view and the vast, boundless Soul/Spirit-view, we’re able to recognize that the more contracted perspective comes from the egoic-mind. We’re also able to recognize that the perspective from the Soul/Spirit is more expansive and inclusive – a big heart-mind. As mature, integrated human beings, we’re to learn how to consciously hold both realities. True choice (intention) can only come from our capacity to hold both realities.
The act of manifesting itself is a sort of contraction – a pulling out of the plenum that which is already present – a bringing it into a denser form. Since the egoic-mind operates from relative-knowing or archived past experiences, what appears to be the act of manifesting is extremely limited. The egoic-mind is quite childlike (narcissistic) – it wants what it wants without thought of the whole. The egoic-mind uses manipulation and seduction to get what it wants. And, the egoic-mind will resist any manifestation that threatens its identity (structures).
Let’s look at an example, a woman, Saleme, decides to sell a particular product. She feels passionate about what she’s selling; she sees how the product can be beneficial to anyone who purchases it; and, she needs the income. Selling this product is the work she’s chosen as a means for making money. The problem is that she’s not manifesting the sales, not making money. As a result, she feels rejection every time a lead hits a dead-end. Her own intrinsic value is merged with the value she sees in the product she’s trying to sell; so when someone is not interested in purchasing the product, there’s a part of her (egoic-mind) that interprets it in a way that tells her that she has no value. The egoic-mind says “You’re not enough. If you were more (fill-in-the-blank) then you would be a better salesperson.” This part of the egoic-mind is often referred to as the super-ego. It’s the internal-parent, the inner-critic/judge.
What is Saleme to do? First she must recognize that what’s happening is an inner-dynamic within her mind; and, she needs to get to the root of this inner-dynamic. She needs practice experiencing her own intrinsic-value. Also, inquiry-work could help her see how the egoic-mind is translating early life-experiences into the present. Some part(s) of her ego is putting up roadblocks to keep her from experiencing success in what she wants to do. Who is it that’s manifesting the feelings of rejection? Who is it that sees selling this particular product so important? There are any number of questions that can arise during authentic inquiry-work where questions open us to the larger dimensions of our being. This whole experience is part of her soul’s journey. It’s not enough to know that she has intrinsic value – she must experience it for herself – for we don’t really “know” anything intimately unless we experience it directly.
We really are multidimensional beings. We exist with many bodies, i.e., physical, subtle, and causal. Each body manifests itself as an expression of Being. Once we’re able to shift our perspective back and forth from the narrow, bounded Ego/Personality-view and the vast, boundless Soul/Spirit-view, we’re able to recognize that the more contracted perspective comes from the egoic-mind. We’re also able to recognize that the perspective from the Soul/Spirit is more expansive and inclusive – a big heart-mind. As mature, integrated human beings, we’re to learn how to consciously hold both realities. True choice (intention) can only come from our capacity to hold both realities.
The act of manifesting itself is a sort of contraction – a pulling out of the plenum that which is already present – a bringing it into a denser form. Since the egoic-mind operates from relative-knowing or archived past experiences, what appears to be the act of manifesting is extremely limited. The egoic-mind is quite childlike (narcissistic) – it wants what it wants without thought of the whole. The egoic-mind uses manipulation and seduction to get what it wants. And, the egoic-mind will resist any manifestation that threatens its identity (structures).
Let’s look at an example, a woman, Saleme, decides to sell a particular product. She feels passionate about what she’s selling; she sees how the product can be beneficial to anyone who purchases it; and, she needs the income. Selling this product is the work she’s chosen as a means for making money. The problem is that she’s not manifesting the sales, not making money. As a result, she feels rejection every time a lead hits a dead-end. Her own intrinsic value is merged with the value she sees in the product she’s trying to sell; so when someone is not interested in purchasing the product, there’s a part of her (egoic-mind) that interprets it in a way that tells her that she has no value. The egoic-mind says “You’re not enough. If you were more (fill-in-the-blank) then you would be a better salesperson.” This part of the egoic-mind is often referred to as the super-ego. It’s the internal-parent, the inner-critic/judge.
What is Saleme to do? First she must recognize that what’s happening is an inner-dynamic within her mind; and, she needs to get to the root of this inner-dynamic. She needs practice experiencing her own intrinsic-value. Also, inquiry-work could help her see how the egoic-mind is translating early life-experiences into the present. Some part(s) of her ego is putting up roadblocks to keep her from experiencing success in what she wants to do. Who is it that’s manifesting the feelings of rejection? Who is it that sees selling this particular product so important? There are any number of questions that can arise during authentic inquiry-work where questions open us to the larger dimensions of our being. This whole experience is part of her soul’s journey. It’s not enough to know that she has intrinsic value – she must experience it for herself – for we don’t really “know” anything intimately unless we experience it directly.
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