An Awareness Bubblebath

Here's a meditation practice that I highly recommend for both meditators and non-meditators. It's an awareness practice that I call a Somatic Meditation. I'll get to what "somatic" means in a bit, but first let's look at the benefits.

If you practice this meditation for awhile, you'll experience some interesting things as you go about your day. How long is awhile? It's actually different for everyone. It may be a few days or weeks. It may even be that you experience something different that very same day.

What can you expect? Again, there's a smorgasbord of experiences and they're all good. You'll actually feel more alive, more in tune with your body, your inner-being, and with others. You'll feel more centered within yourself, more connected, grounded. You'll find that some things that might have pushed your buttons in the past no longer have the same charge they once did.

Somatic has to do "with the body." This particular practice brings consciousness to your physical body merely by focusing your own awareness on different parts of your body. This is not a body-scan. You don't want to zip through this. You want to do this very, very slowly -- take your time. Give this time to yourself; luxuriate in the whole experience as if you're taking an awareness bubble-bath.

When I do this meditation practice, I start with one side of my body beginning with one foot; and then I move up my body. When I get to my head I move back down the other side of my body and end with the opposite foot.

You want to use your awareness to really feel whatever part of the body you're focusing on. For example, let's say you start with your right foot, notice (with your awareness) the feel of your foot, the way it curves, the temperature, the texture. Just notice whatever you notice. Then, as you move up to your ankle, notice (with your awareness) the bones in the ankle, how they protrude out a little. Notice how when you move up the front of your leg from the ankle, to the shin, how the skin over the shin-bone feels. Is it taut? Is it sensitive? Just notice whatever you notice. Go over your whole body with this awareness-touching.

Try this meditation practice in bed before you get up in the morning and before you go to sleep at night. If you want to use this at work during a break, go for it. Experiment with it. Enjoy it!

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How's Your Inner-critic Today?

Want to learn how to disengage from it and free yourself from believing it? Check out this link to a 2-page tri-fold brochure that describes a wonderful opportunity to learn how to liberate your life and your relationships.

http://www.asoulconnection.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/brochure_innerCriticBookStudy2012-132.pdf

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Deborah Saunders has over 15 years experience in helping people awaken to who they truly are through a synthesis of healing modalities and spiritual traditions. She created ‘A Soul Connection’ in 1998 in the Washington D.C. Metropolitan area as the vehicle for teaching self-discovery classes and workshops. By 2001, she began working privately with individuals as well. People describe the nondual healing work with Deborah as “a profoundly gentle and open-hearted way of healing into the present.”

Private sessions can be scheduled for either of two locations -- Graham, or downtown Puyallup. Many of her recurring clients who do not live locally work with Deborah over the phone or Skype. Her self-discovery classes/groups/workshops are offered at various locations: Graham, Puyallup, Tacoma, and Federal Way. Periodically, she offers teleclasses. For more information, visit her website: www.asoulconnection.com and SUBSCRIBE to her e-newsletter; or simply call her at 253-875-6520.

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How's Your Energy for LIFE?

Think about that question. Really feel into it. Right now, in this very moment, are you able to tap into yourself and really feel your own aliveness? Are you aware of this feeling of aliveness during your day in whatever it is that you're doing? I wonder if you actually feel more alive some times and then other times you really don't feel anything at all.

These are the same questions I asked myself as I read an excellent newsletter article, "Why Personal Boundaries Matter" by Lauren Zander. Zander is the founder of Handel Group, a private corporate consulting company in New York. Thanks to her article, I was reminded of the importance of personal boundaries in keeping ourselves centered and authentic. Only when we're being centered and authentic within ourselves are we able to be with others in an authentic way. I was also reminded of how naive I was most of my life as to how important personal boundaries are to our health and well-being. Personal boundaries actually do affect our zest for life.


A Personal Boundary Connection
Isn't it interesting how our energy actually gets zapped when we fail to establish and maintain our own personal boundaries? There really is a connection to how we feel when we establish and maintain our personal boundaries and when we don't. Here are a couple of examples from Zander's article of personal boundaries being violated :
the mom who works long hours at the office all week and spends her evenings and weekends caring for her family with nary a break for herself the dad who always says "yes" to requests from neighbors, relatives and friends -- even when helping them intrudes on his own plans.

Did you recognize anything about yourself in either of these examples? The thing about boundaries that many people don't understand is that boundaries show that you respect and honor your own needs. Do you feel that having your own needs is foreign to you? If so, isn't it time for you to (1) identify what your needs are and then (2) establish some personal boundaries that can help you get your needs met?

On the other hand, there are those whose boundaries are so rigid to ensure their own needs are met that their needs always take center stage. Quite often we see a dynamic between partners where one person has strong boundaries and the other has weak or no boundaries at all.

Identifying Unmet Needs
We all need to be cognizant of our own personal needs; and, quite frankly, we should not expect someone else to know what those needs are. Yet sometimes we get so lost in routines of the day that we don't even think about our needs -- specifically the little ones. For example, maybe you need to take your lunch-time away from your office instead of sitting at your desk. Maybe you need to allow yourself time to take a nap. How can you discover your unmet needs? The next time you become frustrated, annoyed or whiny, ask yourself questions about what needs you may not be honoring.

It's important to recognize that it's OK to have needs and to honor them. It's also important to remember that other people have needs and we need to honor them as well. When our needs conflict with others, it's time for communication and possibly negotiation. Remember communication includes listening as well as talking. Oftentimes when we listen we find out information we did not know. By letting others know what we need and listening to what others need, we may very well come to a better understanding as to what it is we actually do need.

(Note: This article was written and published by Deborah Saunders in November 2008.)

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Deborah Saunders has over 15 years experience in helping people awaken to who they truly are through a synthesis of healing modalities and spiritual traditions. She created ‘A Soul Connection’ in 1998 in the Washington D.C. Metropolitan area as the vehicle for teaching self-discovery classes and workshops. By 2001, she began working privately with individuals as well. People describe the nondual healing work with Deborah as “a profoundly gentle and open-hearted way of healing into the present.”


Private sessions can be scheduled for either of two locations -- Graham, or downtown Puyallup. Many of her recurring clients who do not live locally work with Deborah over the phone or Skype. Her self-discovery classes/groups/workshops are offered at various locations: Graham, Puyallup, Tacoma, and Federal Way. Periodically, she offers teleclasses. For more information, visit her website: www.asoulconnection.com and SUBSCRIBE to her e-newsletter; or simply call her at 253-875-6520.

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The Unlikely Sacred Gateway

by Deborah Saunders, May 13, 2012 (updated from original publication, August 30, 2004)


Button-pushing = Transference = Sacred Gateway

We can all relate to having our buttons pushed. It’s uncomfortable. Right? Few of us, if any, ever had an inkling that there’s a reason that this happens. It’s a sacred gateway that can lead us back Home, to our Self – to wholeness.

Unrecognized parts of ourselves which want to be seen and heard show up as best they can from a distant place of exile, the Unconscious. We’ve repressed them; pushed them from us; and, they’re asking to be reclaimed and returned home. So, when they show up, we have the tendency to defend ourselves, after all, these parts were exiled for a reason, i.e., so that we would not feel hurt. Their showing up threatens us, because it threatens the status quo; AND, paradoxically, it points the way to healing into the present. These parts are part of our unresolved past and they persistently seek resolution by intruding on the present

Transference Explained
Transference involves a re-experiencing of the past in the present. To the extent that we continue to experience the present with the crowded, restriction of the past, we will continue to be bound to the past, a slave to our unconscious repetitions and blocked in our forward movement.

Transference involves a kind of mistaken identity where something about another person bugs us and that something resembles the identity of the original offender -- one of our parents. (If that statement pushed a button in you, even that’s transference.) As children, we could not tolerate either of our parents being “bad”, i.e., “a bad mother” or “a bad father”. For a toddler, who wants his mommy NOW, if she’s not there immediately then that’s a bad thing -- she’s bad -- in his eyes. Young children don’t yet understand that their parents are human (not a god), nor do they even understand what it is to be human. In fact, learning how to be human is something we continue to learn into adulthood.

Self-inquiry for Truth
An Introspective Meditation* Exercise

We can gain an appreciation of how much our perceptions of reality are colored by our (compulsive) need to experience the present in ways that bring up unresolved issues from the past.  We’re bringing consciousness to (shining Light onto) what was unconscious which results in increased self-awareness and strengthening of our container for a healthy ego.

Sit in a quiet place with a notebook and pen in your lap. Close your eyes and become aware of your breathing -- notice the inhale and the exhale. Relax and notice your breathing. If any chatter comes up into your mind, see if you can set it to the side and keep breathing. You may have thoughts of things you need to do or other thoughts that are just mind chatter. Set the thoughts aside. You can always come back to them later if you need to. For now, you're simply noticing your breathing and relaxing.

Once the mind chatter settles down you want to start the self-inquiry.  You can start this inquiry from a place of "I wonder" -- like when you were a child and there were times when you'd wonder about things that you didn't know or understand.

As yourself each question below, one at a time, giving yourself time to breathe into the question and see if something reveals itself to you.  All the time, during the self-inquiry, continue to notice your breathing.

1. Do I seem to have a tendency to make (negative) assumptions about the present based on the past?  If so, when do I do this?

2. Is there a recurrent theme in my interactions with others? If so, what is this theme?

3. While doing this exercise, what have I discovered about myself that I did not already know?

*Introspective Meditation: Deborah coined this type of self-inquiry meditation as one that is fully embodied where the meditator maintains full awareness of the body.  Using a notebook and pen during the meditation, allows one to write notes about what’s happening in the body as well as writing about what’s revealed relating to the questions.

The source for much of my research in this area came from my own work with Integrated Kabbalistic Healing along with a wonderfully clear book about resistance by Martha Stark, M.D.:  “A Primer on Working with Resistance.”

Deborah Saunders has over 15 years experience in helping people awaken to who they truly are through a synthesis of healing modalities and spiritual traditions.  She created ‘A Soul Connection’ in 1998 in the Washington D.C. Metropolitan area as the vehicle for teaching self-discovery classes and workshops. By 2001, she began working privately with individuals as well.  People describe the nondual healing work with Deborah as “a profoundly gentle and open-hearted way of healing into the present.”

Private sessions can be scheduled for either of two locations -- Graham, or downtown Puyallup.  Many of her recurring clients who do not live locally work with Deborah over the phone or Skype.  Her self-discovery classes/groups/workshops are offered at various locations: Graham, Puyallup, Tacoma, and Federal Way.  Periodically, she offers teleclasses.  For more information, visit her website:  www.asoulconnection.com  and SUBSCRIBE to her e-newsletter; or simply call her at 253-875-6520.

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Consider this . . .

A Basic Law of the Heart

If you turn outward, not only will you get what is outside, but by the very movement toward the outside, the inside will close. So if you turn outward, the heart closes. If you turn inward, toward your essence, it will open.

(excerpts from Diamond Heart, Book One, Ch 13, Growing Up, by A.H. Almaas)

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Laughter -- Now and Then

Today I read this quote by an ancient philosopher, Philo (20 BCE-50 CE):

“The goal of wisdom is laughter and play— not the kind that one sees in little children who do not yet have the faculty of reason, but the kind that is developed in those who have grown mature through both time and understanding. If someone has experienced the wisdom that can only be heard from oneself, learned from oneself, and created from oneself, one does not merely participate in laughter: one becomes laughter itself.”

This quote reminded me of a poem I'd written back in 2003 about consciously experiencing laughter.

Laughter

Now, you are mine
Bubbling up
Releasing outward
Can't hold you in
Must let you flow out
Oh, I CAN share you with others
But I don't need to share you
I can laugh out loud all by myself
And, NOW I can laugh with God
  at myself . . . Divine Laughter

~ Deborah Saunders
July 15, 2003

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Every Heartbeat, Every Breath

In the very moment you were born
The world transformed
And continues to change
Each and every moment
Every heartbeat
Every breath
As you live
You are Life
And, you breathe the world
~ Deborah Saunders, 2/8/2012

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Emotion — A Bridge between the Worlds (Relative & Absolute)

Are emotions mental states that arise spontaneously? How are emotions related to feelings? What is the relationship, if any, to love as an emotion, a feeling, and a soul quality?

A general definition of an emotion describes a neural impulse that moves an organism to action. It’s considered to be a psycho-physiological state and really does arise spontaneously and involuntarily.

As physical expressions, emotions are related to feelings, perceptions, beliefs associated with objects or others — even a certain aroma can remind us of someone or an event and “wha-lah” a particular feeling and/or emotion arises instantly. We’re all aware of how the physical body responds to emotions, i.e., changes in temperature and breathing; increased heartrate; tightness in throat, chest, or belly. You may very well come up with other ways your own body responds to specific emotions.

From a neurobiological perspective, emotion is a pleasant or unpleasant mental state organized in the limbic system of the mammalian brain. These mammalian elaborations use neurochemicals, e.g., dopamine, noradrenaline, and serotonim, to step-up or step-down the brain’s activity level.¹ These ‘states’ are manifestations of any number of various non-verbally expressed feelings from one end of a continuum to the other end.

Looking at emotions energetically, we experience unpleasant (negative) emotions as energy-draining and pleasant (positive) emotions as energy-calming and sometimes as very alive and exhilerating. Emotions move energy — e-motion (energy in motion) — WHEN we facilitate rather than hinder the movement. Most of us have an automatic tendency (reaction) to “hold our breath” when we begin to experience a negative emotion. By doing the opposite, by breathing consciously, we facilitate the movement of emotional energy through us.

An emotion is experienced as a response to the nervous system and is a part of the Relative-world; a soul (or essential) quality is an expression of the Absolute-world. An emotion needs an “other” in order to arise. An emotion points toward a part/voice that needs something and is somehow trying to protect the self. An essential, soul quality doesn’t point to anything outside of itself; it’s complete, whole in and of itself — it is what it is. There’s no garment or anything covering up what It is. There’s nothing else determining what It should be. Love is pure, unconditional Love. Strength is calm without needing to be inferior or superior to anything else.

Consider this. The Ego rules in the Relative-world and it trys to imitate Essence. From the perspective of the Relative-world, we are our Ego/Personality and from this perspective our emotions often define who we are, i.e., an angry person, a happy person. From the Absolute-world, we are Essence and our essential qualities define who we are — our True Nature, i.e., Love, Value, Strength. From an integrated perspective, we’re able to see both views; and, we’re able to understand compasionately with an open heart what’s being pointed to. We’re not really an angry person. We’re feeling angry and that feeling/emotion is pointing to some part/voice who needs to be heard, who may be feeling unloved, unappreciated, disappointed.

Note:
¹ Source: Wikipedia Article on Emotions

For more information about my work Soul Expressions Dialogue®, visit my website at www.asoulconnection.com.

Giving yourself moments
of embodied self-awareness
literally expands your capacity
to be truly alive
in the world.
~ Deborah Saunders & "A Soul Connection"

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New Insights into EFT/TFT & the Truth

Anyone who knows me, knows that it's very important for me to know and experience the truth.  I love the truth!  No matter what it is, as long as it is the truth, that's what I want to experience.  I've studied with a number of spiritual teachers and healers, each one offering their own perspective of how to experience and understand the truth.  I get the reality of the fact that there are a gazillion levels of truth and that our perception of truth changes as we change.

So, in wanting to know, and being open to, the truth about what happened in my EFT session, I had to sit in the mystery of unknowing for weeks.  Just sitting in the unknown was not particularly pleasant for my ego-personality, so now and again I would surf the internet to see what I could find about EFT/TFT and shifts in perspective.

One of the catch-phrases that I heard over and over was "the cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body's energy system."  Those words irritated me and THAT interested me.  It sounds too new-agey for me.  It sounds like something people just repeat whether they really know what it means or not.  And words repeated like that remind me of unconsciously reciting prayers -- or the pledge of allegiance, or anything else that's recited from memory -- from dead space without presence. (Note: I am NOT saying that prayers or pledges cannot be said from presence.  I'm saying that I've witnessed many folks doing it without presence.)

So, I continued to be with the not-knowing and wanting to know the truth about that shift I experienced; AND, now I'm wanting to know the truth of that statement about negative emotions being a disruption (blah blah blah).  Well, I got it . . . at least some part of the truth and it's still unfolding.  Here's what I've got so far:

What's a disruption?  It's a break, a delay, or an interruption. 

What's a negative emotion?  A natural human response in the form of a defensive mechanism, i.e., anger.  And, what the emotion is defending is a thought, an idea or a belief.

Imagine watching an energy system monitor in real-time (could be similar to a heart monitor or a truth detector monitor).  As you watch the monitor, everything seems to have a natural rhythm when suddenly something spikes and you hear warning beeps.  What just happened?  A human being was just going about her day when suddenly someone said something to her about how slimming her dress made her look!  Immediately a thought arose in her head:  "You usually look fat but that dress makes you look slimmer."  Then, in response to that thought the defensive emotion -- Anger -- arises. 

Anger arises because she does NOT want to be seen as fat.  She does not want to feel fat.  She does not want to even think she's fat.  Anger is the response to the real problem -- the lie, the belief or idea, the thought that she's something that she should NOT be.  Anger is the  "disruption" in the energy system; Anger is also the gateway into the Truth.  This disruption says:  "Hey, look at me!  Be curious about what's happening here.  Let's look deeper and see the Truth."

My tapping session with Gail did not "get rid of" a negative emotion.  It actually acknowledge exactly what was there at the time and only after seeing what was truly there was I able to experience clarity of the truth (a clear true reality).  The false image of what was real dissolved because it was replaced by the truth.

What we consider as negative emotions are NOT things we need to get rid of nor ignore.  Negative emotions are difficult to experience because we've never been taught how to work with them.

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Tapping -- The Missing Piece
(Continued from "Re-exploring Tapping Technique")
Fast-forward ten years.  Through professional networking, I met someone who is an EFT-Coach.  Hmmm.  That's EFT, not TFT.  Interesting.  Now, I find out that EFT stands for "Emotional Freedom Technique."  Another hmmmm.  It looks like, sounds like, feels like TFT, but it's called EFT.  Did the "name" change?

A little research uncovers some interesting information that explains why EFT seemed like TFT for me.  Dr. Roger Callahan discovered TFT, Thought Field Therapy over 30 years ago.  It has been described as a "Meridian Energy Therapy.  Gary Craig is called the founder of EFT, Emotional Freedom Therapy.  He studied with Dr. Callahan for years which included his learning Callahan's advanced techniques.  My understanding is that Craig went off on his own after realizing his strong difference in opinion with Callahan's insistence that the tapping sequence was imperative.

I wanted to experience EFT for myself but THIS time I had an opportunity to actually work WITH someone who was practiced AND, as an EFT-Coach (I'll use the name Gail until I get permission to use her real name), was someone who helped others work through emotional blocks with EFT tapping.  I chose something for which I knew I had a number of emotional blocks associated with it and I wanted to clear them.    Here's my experience:

Gail asked me to describe whatever it was I wanted to work on, then she asked me specific questions for clarity and probably to use with the scripts we would work with (note: I do not know if "scripts" is a correct way to describe this).  At some point, we begin the tapping.  Now this session was over the phone, so Gail was very good at guiding me to the points I needed to be tapping while having me repeat words she supplied for me.  She also had me check in with myself now and then to feel the intensity of the particular emotional feeling.  We used the typical 1-10 scale with ten being the highest intensity.  I've got to admit -- the intensity DID decrease -- AND THEN it was gone.  The emotional feeling around the issue disappeared.  I was impressed.

Since that time I have definitely noticed a shift in my perspective having to do with the issue that I brought up in the EFT session.  Now I want to understand the deeper truth of what happened.   I am a healing practitioner. I have healing practices in both Graham and Puyallup WA.  The healing work I do looks very different from EFT.   From a nondual healing perspective, my clients and I ultimately work in a space that's deeper than, prior to, the emotional level.  Yet we do go in and out of that nondual space depending on where the client is capable of descending to. (To be continued -- see "New Insights into EFT/TFT & the Truth")

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Re-Exploring Tapping Therapy

Over 10 years ago, I discovered that there was such a thing as "tapping therapy."  The specific tapping therapy that I found was called TFT, Thought Field Therapy -- an energy system balancing technique.   I practiced using it myself and found it quite interesting, but it wasn't something I used everyday.  During that same time-frame when I was experimenting with TFT, an opportunity arose that allowed me to share TFT with a friend.  Here's a quick story:

A few of us who were attending a retreat decided to go out to a restaurant for dinner one evening.  Katie decided to drive.  We had a delicious meal including a glass of wine for each of us.  As we were leaving the restaurant and walking toward the car, Katie began sneezing . . . and sneezing . . . and sneezing.  She'd laugh in between the sneezes (and we laughed too) but it became obvious once we sat in the car that her sneezing was not stopping.  And, it also became obvious that she could NOT drive while she was having this sneezing-attack.

An idea occurred to me and I asked Katie if she was open to trying something "kinda weird" to stop the sneezing."  She said she was open to anything.  So, I showed her how we would be tapping on certain meridians on the face, collar bone, and under the arm.  At the time, I don't think I even remembered the karate-chop and top of the head points.

The words we used while tapping on the specific meridian points were quite simple:  "Even though I'm sneezing uncontrollably, I deeply and completely love & accept myself."  Sometimes she'd sneeze while we were going through the sequence of tapping and saying these words.  And, when that would happen, we'd all laugh and then continue with the process.  By the end of the third round, Katie had completely stopped sneezing.  As soon as she stopped, she asked "What did you do?!"  I laughed and said "I" didn't do anything; YOU did."

Another somewhat significant piece of information connected to this story/event is that the three of us who'd gone to dinner and tapped through Katie's sneezing attack were there together because we were all enrolled in the same healing school; and, we were attending one of our weekend retreats.  The tapping technique did not feel congruent with what we were learning at the school.  Something was missing.   For example, in the healing school, we were learning how important it is to see and understand the truth of what's happening in the Present -- to recognize how (when) our history actually colors our view of the Real.  We were learning how to experience Presence in a fully embodied way where whole truth arises along with other Essential Divine qualities, i.e., love, compassion, strength, and peace.  (to be continued -- see "The Missing Piece")

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