Saturday, June 18, 2011

WEEK 5 HOD
Day 29, Hesed within Hod


Hesed (lovingkindness, ever-flow, no boundaries, no restraint, unconditional giving)

Hod (splendor, empathy, thankfulness, gratefulness, submission, surrender, joy)

Early this morning, as I entered the 29th Gate of Consciousness, I opened to exploring more about where I am in relation to completing an application for the new Ridhwan Teacher Training.  It was like walking through a long corridor looking into rooms that held thoughts, feelings, ideas and beliefs that I was already familiar with.  Suddenly I came to this place (or space) where it was very clear that I was doing exactly what I needed to be doing now and that I didn't need to become anything other than what I am.  I realized at that moment -- visual snapshots moved through my mind at something like warp-speed -- that I've spent my whole life "becoming"  but there was something about the "way" I went about it that seemed to be trying to fill a hole. So the realization was that I don't need to do anything toward becoming anything . . . that I'm already whole.

I'm still not clear as to whether I'm going to apply for this teacher training, but I am clear that if I do it, it will be from a totally different place than where I was -- free of identifications or need to be identified.

Let me take a moment to acknowledge that my early morning Inquiry was clearly supported within Hod.  I felt such gratefulness and acceptance (a submission to what is); and I felt a more solid, clear sense of self.  The experience also included such lovingkindness toward myself!  No judgement (no super ego anywhere in my space).

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